Kangaroo With ‘Bad Attitude’ Beats Up Elderly Woman, Terrorizes Town
NY Post / Rob Bailey-Millado / December 13, 2019
Location: the rural village of Leyburn in Queensland, Australia.
Margherita Caruana, of Queensland’s Southern Downs Region, said the rogue ‘roo has trashed a garden she’s spent three decades tending, the Courier Mail reported. The seamstress said the beast feasted on her roses, a lemon tree, gardenias, lavender, acanthus mollis and cacti.
They’re just parodying The Babylon Bee, and how it gets all these details down so serious-like.
Toy Story:
Another Queensland resident, Shane Toy, reported a kangaroo sighting outside his pub about two months ago — when the kangaroo attacked his wife, the Daily Mail reported. Toy said a patron “armed with a bar stool” came to his spouse’s defense — and then the pair locked themselves in the pub until the animal disappeared.
(That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it. By the way, the loss of hundreds of dollars worth of liquor remains unexplained.)
Until common-sense barstool regulations are enacted . . .
A New Zealand man in town for a wedding was reportedly the first victim. Toy said the ill-tempered kangaroo had its front paws on the man’s shoulders and was preparing to kick him before a friend came to his rescue, scaring the animal away.
Quick question: how did the kangaroo come to have its front paws on the man’s shoulders?
Lose your guns and you’re no longer on top of the food chain.
Next the koalas are going to start picking on them.
I’ve been waiting for sparrows to start chucking coconut halves at Brits.
Everything in Australia wants to kill you… everything.
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Thanks Oppo!
Ah, Saltwater Crocodile vs. Great White Shark. Shark: 1, Croc: nothing. You see, it can be done!
Quick question: how did the kangaroo come to have its front paws on the man’s shoulders? Quick answer: The kangaroo was gay.
Kanga RuPaul.
I would have guessed he was Bi-pedal.
Quick question: how did the kangaroo come to have its front paws on the man’s shoulders?
Quick answer: Just in case you are serious, kangaroos can be up to seven feet tall. They fight by facing the enemy, stabilising their target with their front paws, then balancing on their tails and using their rear paws to disembowel the enemy.
Thanks! The way it was written, both the man and his friend sounded sort of passive until the kangaroo prepared to kick him.
Kangaroo appears: man and friend take no action.
Kangaroo approaches to within touching distance: man and friend take no action.
Kangaroo puts hands on shoulders: man and friend take no action.
Kangaroo prepares for the kick: man apparently takes no action. Friend springs into action and comes to his rescue!
Maybe…but I think my theory is still viable.