One can only imagine how that would’ve been reported in today’s media and who would be blamed. The car, the scotch or the girl? Certainly not TK. And look, there’s Joan, standin’ by her man! Not too happy of course, but doing what a good wife is supposed to do when your last name starts with that special “K”
… a party at Harvey Weinstein’s…
Or my place…
Not to mention Epstein’s
We asked you not to mention that…
The first rule of Epstein house parties.
None of the other guys were hung quite like Epstein.
Now, look: we’ve told you once not to mention Epstein’s, and yet here we are.
… outdoor dining during the Antifa Social Conscience Hour…
A Joe Biden rally.
…to a Joe Biden speech.
. . . sitting behind him . . . after he’s had a full barbeque meal . . .
…touring the Vatican -with Joe Biden
Just follow the brown trail.
A joy ride through hell with dessert in heaven..in a Tesla.
… Mom’s house for dinner…
…dinner at the restaurant where your ex is a server.
Followed by a Yoko Ono concert.
To dinner with your spouse.
… To your own gender-reveal party.
…your colonoscopy appointment.
… movie night with Pee Wee Herman.
A Volgon poetry reading
A McDonald’s drive-thru
{“Don’t expect this all the time!”}
These are MINE!
If you wanted fries, you should have ORDERED fries!
Super sized? Do you think you really need the extra calories?
If you close your eyes while you eat the calories don’t count!
I read that on the internet!
… your first try at smuggling drugs into Thailand.
An evening ride over to Poucha Pond for a surprise swim?
Obscury Silver! (but not gold, since I, and a few others, I suspect, didn’t have to look it up).
One can only imagine how that would’ve been reported in today’s media and who would be blamed. The car, the scotch or the girl? Certainly not TK. And look, there’s Joan, standin’ by her man! Not too happy of course, but doing what a good wife is supposed to do when your last name starts with that special “K”
https://imgur.com/8e1IvDB
They only come in gold.
Straight Line of the Day: One of the worst first dates you could take someone on would be…
… prefaced with “Hi — I’m Oppo. Here’s some flowers from your garden.”
… to the chapel to get married.
… a ride-along with the guys from IMAO.
… to what you lovingly call “der Fuehrerbunker.”
… taking footage of Alec Baldwin.
… to the first annual Skanklympics.
… Douche Treat.
Back Shoot Duty at a Gay Rodeo.
“C’mon, honey, I got some problems I gotta resolve at the DMV!”
… when she looks at you with those cold, dead eyes, realizing that Tankdemon has just scored his second Harvey Award in the “mandate” SLotD.
Any date, whether first or man, that involves me getting a Harvey award is automatically epic.
btw, why does everybody insist on capitalizing my name? The “t” should be lower case. It’s a nether realms thing.
Waffle House at 3am
Those were the days
The NPR Comedy Festival, hosted by Barbara Streisand
“Let’s go to where Alec Baldwin’s movie is shooting today.”
One of the worst first dates you could take someone on would be…
…to your arraignment.
Like I’m giving away my secrets for avoiding long term relationships for free. Fat chance.
MLM sales pitch
Timeshare sales pitch
Road trip…and your date just had Taco Bell