Hiker Lost For 24 Hours Ignored Calls From Rescuers Because of Unknown Number
New York Post | October 25, 2021 | Jackie Salo
A hiker lost on a mountain in Colorado ignored repeated calls from rescuers ― later explaining that they had been unfamiliar with the phone number, authorities said.
Don’t have the Salmon mousse.
“Go T-Mobile or die”!
…won’t have to worry about getting unknown calls then…. or any calls for that matter.
When you find yourself in danger
When you’re threatened by a stranger
When it looks like you will take a lickin’ (puk puk puk puk)
Who will hurry up and rescue you
Just Call for Super Chicken (puk ack)
He’ll be there shortly in his Super Coop!
I used to LOVE Super Chicken.
My recollection of the theme song is …
When you find yourself in danger
Or you’re threatened by a stranger
And it looks like you might take a lickin.’ (puk puk puk puk)
There is one thing you should learn
That when there’s no one else to turn to
Caaaaaaaall for Super Chicken. (puk ack)
When in danger or in doubt
run in circles, scream and shout.
The hiker will make claims of being offended by the obviously racially motivated mistreatment from Colorado authorities… Media will certainly show up to interview the hiker within a few minutes.
It’s a hiker in Colorado, they are obviously of the race that racism can’t be applied to.
…wrap his towel around his head and start hitch-hiking.
Try to get by without a car warranty.
…The hiker should answer the call, and agree to purchase the extended warranty on the vehicle he no longer has, but only if they bring the contract to him personally.
Drink your own urine. It’s got electrolytes.
… put a piece of tape over that pesky “check engine” light…
LOL, I did this with a work truck after reporting it on my preflight list every day for 4 months.. Thankfully, it finally died.
… rub a little dirt into that compound fracture and walk it off…
… never ask for directions – it spoils the adventure..
Directions are for wusses
… forget about listening to your wife – you’re the man, it’s time to own it!
Words that I live by
If you see any black and white stripe kitty-kats in the woods, don’t pet ’em.
The same applies to kitties of unusual size.
You should duck into the thick brush when you hear a helicopter, because those CIA spooks don’t need to know your business.
Don’t worry, they’ll probably lose the video anyway.
Bear cubs are a great source of warmth at night.
That canteen is just extra weight. Leave it at home.
look for the Rockie Mountain high like I did.
Never, ever trust map apps
Ray…when someone asks you if you are a god, you say yes!
Go full-retard.
Never go full retard, NASCAR may put you im for re-education.
But you’ll get more opportunities to cheer for Brandon…
two words… Tactical… Bacon…
Follow these steps exactly:
Liam Neeson on speed dial.
When lost, call Liam and tell him you have his daughter for ransom.
VERY IMPORTANT STEP
Tell him it’s a prank AFTER part 1 of his plan, but BEFORE part 2
Play a game of Solitaire. Someone will stop by to point out that you missed a play.
Immediately ditch all extra weight, like food, water, and blankets.
…Joe Biden is a great babysitter.
If you hear your rescuers calling out your name hide, and don’t answer, because they might actually be IRS agents.
If you hear your rescuers calling out your name, hide, and don’t answer. It’s just a trick so they win the game of hide and seek.
When rock climbing in remote chasms, don’t tell anybody where you went or when you’ll be back, but whatever you do, DO NOT, forget a dull pocket knife.