…I punched the other Rockem Sockem Robot in the throat for the final winning punch and almost went on the Dick Cavett Show afterwards but was too exhausted.
. . . I solved the Oswald killing. Jack Ruby did it with a revolver in the basement.
I am now applying my investigative skills to the Epstein suicide. Hold on, there’s knock at the door. Nothing to worry about, just a rope salesman offering a free sample.
Yes the bang was scared of being called a Misogynist and was woke enough to let the females do the banging..you know like when they’re in the kitchen cooking and get mad.
I’ve learned some valuable lessons from the riot in Kenosha, and the aftermath thereof….
Never run around during a riot yelling, “Shoot me n****r”, because someone just may take you up on your offer.
Never…ever…take a skate board to a gun fight. Never.
Never try and antagonize a frightened 17 year old sitting on the ground with a loaded rifle because he just may defend himself by shooting you with it. Remember the life (or arm) you save may be your own.
… I’ve never mispronounced “Basil”… Oh, dammit!, that’s wrong, should said “Basil”…
… the water polo team used to cheat off of my biology tests in high school…
… I’ve personally manufactured over one million miniature metal bellows – some of them ended up in space…
The ones that didn’t – not my fault…
…I punched the other Rockem Sockem Robot in the throat for the final winning punch and almost went on the Dick Cavett Show afterwards but was too exhausted.
I don’t like to brag, but…
my wooden badger is the largest in these lands.
Not
…but I did not see this before I entered my first caption.
I don’t like to brag, but…
I am the Walrus, koo-koo-kachoo!
I don’t like to brag, but…
I’m Spartacus!
No, I’m Spartacus!
I’m Spartacus! and so is my wife.
I am groot.
So you’re the mayor of Chicago??
I am GROOT
I don’t like to brag, but…
I am the most humble person ever.
I didnt poop my pants like President Joe yesterday…
No brown stripe or it happened.
That’s a pretty good shart
I don’t like to brag, but…
Have never been photo’d passed out with a crack pipe in my mouth.
Emphasis on “Photo’d.”
I don’t like to brag, but…damn I’m good.
…it ain’t bragging if you can do it!
…I didn’t actually die when I took the stupid way up a mountain.
…not all my dates ditched me for the waiter.
…I’m smarter than Don Lemon.
Well….that’s not much of a challenge is it?
Never mind.
…I already know how to code.
Time to become a miner.
…well Fortran IV anyway.
…I have a super hot girlfriend who’s a model. You don’t know her, she goes to another school, in Canada.
Can she come to the senior prom? It would be awesome to meet her.
I don’t like to brag, but I’m proud I don’t like to brag,
. . . I solved the Oswald killing. Jack Ruby did it with a revolver in the basement.
I am now applying my investigative skills to the Epstein suicide. Hold on, there’s knock at the door. Nothing to worry about, just a rope salesman offering a free sample.
That’s nothing. I recently solved who killed JFK and I’m not saying it was aliens..but it was aliens.
I Don’t Like To Brag, But….
Solving the “Theory of Everything” was child’s play
I solved the Big Bang Theory..there was NO BANG because there is no sound in outer space, only in inner space..yes, it’s true because..females.
So the BIG BANG starts with a female
Yes the bang was scared of being called a Misogynist and was woke enough to let the females do the banging..you know like when they’re in the kitchen cooking and get mad.
Give three examples
I don’t like to brag, but…
my mom can suck start a Harley!
…I didn’t actually die when, as a teenager, I skateboarded down a giant overpass of an incomplete unopened freeway.
I think I saw that on ABC’s Wide World of Sports!
… I knew it was 42 before Deep Thought.
I don’t like to brag, but…
…dogs love me.
I don’t like to brag, but…
…I know who put the bop in the bop-sh-bop-sh-bop.
I don’t like to brag, but…
…(gives a little, tilted half-nod with a almost imperceptible shoulder shrug)
IYKWIMAITYD
I don’t like to brag, but…
…. I AM from Texas. Yes. Really!
Me too..midland-odessa where it never rains..ever.
I’m in Amarillo. Up here we think of Odessa a swampy.
(but I hate to brag)
My large wooden badger is bigger than your large wooden badger.
Short timber.
…but Randolph Scott said he’d do anything for me.
I don’t like to brag, but…
I’ve learned some valuable lessons from the riot in Kenosha, and the aftermath thereof….
Never run around during a riot yelling, “Shoot me n****r”, because someone just may take you up on your offer.
Never…ever…take a skate board to a gun fight. Never.
Never try and antagonize a frightened 17 year old sitting on the ground with a loaded rifle because he just may defend himself by shooting you with it. Remember the life (or arm) you save may be your own.
I have won over 51% of the time in picking heads or tails.
Eat it, chumps!