‘Climate Change’ Now Top Priority for US Navy
townhall.com | 3/23/2023 | Bob BarrIn a stunning, but not altogether surprising statement, America’s top Navy official declared that “fighting climate change” is a “top priority” for the U.S. Navy. Navy Secretary Carlos Del Toro announced this last week not at the Pentagon or the U.S. Naval Academy, but at a conference in the Bahamas.
It is likely that Chinese President Xi Jinping and Russian President Vladimir Putin, meeting this week in Moscow to discuss closer military cooperation, shared a high five on hearing the Navy Secretary’s declaration.
… lowering the albedo of their uniforms by banning dress whites…
I hope I can remember albedo, thanks for tossing one out I had to look up.
Albedo is the fraction of incoming sunlight that our planet reflects back to space. If Earth was covered in ice like a giant snowball, its albedo would be about 0.84, meaning it would reflect most (84 percent) of the sunlight that hit it.
My chemistry professor had an albedo rating somewhere in the neighborhood of around 0.93 if you could just measure the reflected light coming off of his dolfin-like forehead, I think.
Female teachers
Who were reachers
Wore tight linen blouses, yet
Had an albedo
That your libedo
Cannot, to this day, forget.
Ways the Navy can fight climate change…
They can ‘fire salutes with the captain’s boots into the teeth of the booming gale’.
It’s pretty tempting to award that an Obscury…
go for it.
… launching a strike against the Mauna Loa Observatory – no CO2 data, no doomsday predictions, crisis averted…
Ways the Navy can fight climate change…
The man at the wheel was made to feel contempt for the wildest blow. And it often appeared when the weather had cleared that he’d been in his bunk below.
The man’s a poet.
Del Toro: “For entertainment we are bringing in the Village People, Rupaul and Cher. Cher will be dancing and singing topless on the deck of the USS Tittyhawk, I mean Kittyhawk.
Oh, and Viva Mehico”!
… keeelhaul Michael Mann and Greta Thunberg…
Ah, the hull in the ozone …
… resurrect the blue-water navy, spinnakers shining in the sun…
… cut their grog rations in half…
Have Del Toro fly into the sun and have a chat with it. Oh, and bring James Taylor.
Damn the Del Toro pedos! Full speed ahead!
Inside the mind of the secretly badass Navy Admiral “Now I simply identify China as the #1 global environmental enemy, and it’s ON!”
Our vice president could embrace Top Gum.
Ways the Navy Can Fight Climate Change:
Use that badass rail gun to shoot at the sun
Ways the Navy Can Fight Climate Change:
Have John Kerry only use his private jet for local flights. Have it land on a nuclear powered aircraft carrier to cross any oceans.
Whattayamean you don’t got an arresting hook?
Ways the Navy Can Fight Climate Change:
Using one of our Trident subs, make a sneak attack on the moon. Nuke that badboy so it won’t be reflecting all that damn sunlight back at us.
Bring the Mighty Mo out of retirement, and use the 16″ guns to have a national moment of screaming at the sky.
Ways the Navy Can Fight Climate Change: …
disband and surrender, no more navy, far less impact on the climate. Easy-peasy.
The Navy should let Hillary know that Alvin Bragg has evidence against her. It won’t affect climate change, but who cares?
They’re going to cut down in methane emissions by ridding the mess of burritos.
Retrofit the destroyers with masts and sails.
…Bring back letters of marque and reprisal. The more pirates, the less global warming.