Under Joe Biden, America’s Falling Behind in Everything!

Australian Creates World’s Widest Wig, Measuring More Than 8 Feet Across
UPI | March 31, 2023 | Ben Hooper

Oppo

March 31 (UPI) — An Australia resident broke a Guinness World Record when they crafted a wig measuring 8 feet and 6 inches wide…

The support structure was made from a bike helmet, PVC pipe, pool noodles, cable ties and aluminum rods, GWR said.

So, basically, he cleaned out his garage.

Well, Yeah. And There’s Limited Scientific Evidence That Dolf Lundgren and Jackie Chan Could Have Beaten Me in a Fight

NPR Finally Issues a Correction After Getting Fact-Checked Into Oblivion About Transgendered Males in Women’s Sports
Townhall | 03/27/2023 | Julio Rosas

National Public Radio issued a correction to their tweet that proclaimed there is “limited scientific evidence of physical advantage” trans male athletes have over female athletes after the international governing body for track and field banned trans athletes.

Correction: An earlier tweet incorrectly stated there is limited scientific evidence of physical advantage. Existing research shows that higher levels of testosterone do impact athletic performance. But there’s limited research involving elite trans athletes in competition.— NPR (@NPR) March 26, 2023

Biden Makes Surprise Visit to FEMA in Anticipation of Nor’Easter Bunny

OK, Let’s Jump the Gun Here: What April 1st Joke Are You Going To Pull?

New Pfizer Patch Encourages Democrats to Nod to “The Daily Show,” “Saturday Night Live,” and “The View” News Reports

Mandates Being Considered

Has Perhaps Been Beta-Tested on “Morning Joe” With Scarborough as the Beta

Straight Line of the Day: What Is This Guy Saying?

U.S. Navy Vice Adm. Karl Thomas, commander of the 7th Fleet, speaks to the crew of a mine-countermeasures ship during a tour in June 2022.

Welcome to IMAO! The Only Website We’re Aware of With Overhead Lamps

Friday Classic Funny

“Good morning Miss Derek, what’s shakin’?”

“Not a whole lot I’m afraid.”

“Pity that, so do we have our supply chain issues resolved?”

“Not really sir, so it’s a bit heavy on the Calvin and Hobbes today.”

“Well we view what we must. Proceed.”

What Is This, a Gary Larson Cartoon?

Over 100 Venomous Snakes, Alligator and Dead Body Found in Pennsylvania Home
KOMO News | 26 Mar 2023 | Rayna McGlynn

And More Good News: You Weren’t in This Vehicle

“the Los Angeles Police Department confirmed there were no major injuries following the crash.”

There Is Some Good News. Just Not for Bears.

Recorded Defensive Uses of Pistols Against Bears Has Grown Exponentially
AmmoLand | March 23, 2023 | Dean Weingarten

. . . a startling progression has been observed. The recorded use of pistols in defense against bears has grown by two orders of magnitude in recent decades.

Go Absolutely John Wayne

You only have to read the boldface parts.

Portland: Deranged Homeless Man Was Discharged From Mental Health Center and Moments Later Attacked a Woman With a Rock
Hotair | 03/29/2023 | John Sexton

This story made the local news when it happened last August. A homeless man named Dwayne A. Simpson attacked a woman named Sonya Gonzalez with a 35lb rock as she waited for her son to pick her up after work. Gonzalez fell, hitting her head on a concrete wall and passing out. She awoke moments later covered in her own blood and sought help.

Officers responding to the Unity Center for Behavioral Health in Northeast Portland on Tuesday saw the woman — identified later as 55-year-old Sonya Gonzales — with “significant amounts of blood” dripping off her, according to a probable cause affidavit. She was attacked steps away from the center.

Two witnesses told police Gonzales appeared unconscious, lying motionless for about two minutes after the attack, according to the affidavit written by Deputy District Attorney Michael Lee.

She was taken by ambulance to the hospital after rating her pain as a “burning seven,” the affidavit said.

Now Gonzalez is suing the mental health facility which it turns out had discharged Simpson only moments before the attack. In fact, the story is worse than that. Simpson was known to have expressed homicidal thoughts including his desire to smash a woman in the head with a rock.

Portland’s behavioral health hospital knew a patient had repeatedly vocalized violent fantasies about smashing in a woman’s head but discharged him anyway onto the street outside — where the man immediately did just that, a lawsuit filed Tuesday alleges…

Dwayne A. Simpson, 40, was arrested that day on allegations including second-degree assault in the attack. Simpson told police he had just been released from the Unity Center for Behavioral Health, according to a bail memo.

The lawsuit describes in more detail Simpson’s immediate history of violent mental episodes.

On July 24, 2022, law enforcement received calls related to Dwayne Simpson reporting that Simpson was experiencing a violent mental health crisis. During this mental health crisis, Simpson was threatening to assault a woman and bash her skull in, all within the immediate vicinity of the Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center. Simpson was taken to Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center by officers as an intervention for his violent mental health crisis. On information and belief, during evaluation related to his violent mental health crisis Legacy agents learned that Simpson expressed homicidal ideation and impulses, including that he wanted to assault a woman and bash her skull in. On information and belief, Simpson was discharged by agents of Defendant in less than an hour whereupon he continued his violent mental health crisis in the immediate vicinity of Legacy Emanuel Hospital & Health Center.

On August 4, 2022, Simpson shattered the front and rear windshield of a parked vehicle. Simpson then walked to a gas station and told the attendant that he was hearing voices that were telling him to “kill everyone.”…

On information and belief, on August 9, 2022, Dwayne Simpson was seen as a patient at Unity Center for Behavioral Health as a result of yet another violent mental health crisis. On information and belief, during this evaluation, agents of Defendant learned of additional information indicating that Simpson posed a danger of violence to others. On information and belief, Unity discharged Simpson despite his continued need for medical and/or mental health care services and the risk of danger he posed to people on and near the premises of Unity…

August 9th was the day that Simpson (allegedly) attacked Gonzalez with a rock, smashing her in the back of the head exactly as he’d previously said he wanted to do. This is probably the least surprising crime to happen in Portland that week.

Finally, I couldn’t help but notice another passing statement made in the lawsuit. This describes what happened after Gonzales regained consciousness.

When she regained consciousness, Ms. Gonzales reached behind her head and discovered that she was bleeding profusely. No one came to help. Ms. Gonzales struggled to her feet and made her way back into the building. Once inside, Ms. Gonzales begged two people to call 911. They could not get through.

I wonder why they couldn’t get through to the police after a woman was smashed in the head by a deranged man. Oh, right.

Walrus Heads to Ninth Hole, Wonders Why He Has Golf Course All to Himself

Fauci, Pfizer Announce New “Wile E. Coyote” mRNA Injection

Mandates Imminent

Straight Line of the Day: How To Identify a Liberal Camouflaged as a Conservative: …

Straight Line of the Day: How to identify a liberal camouflaged as a conservative: …