Driving ability, his name and an enlarged prostate: Three things I inherited from my dad, Dick Trickle.
My car is built like a tank. A Sherman tank to be precise.
Through a complicated legal and medical maneuver (unless you are from Canada) I am my own back-seat driving transgendered mother-in-law organ donor and everybody else can’t wait for me to die.
Remember in Papillon where McQueen was escaping from a brutal prison and he was trying to get a boat from a Leper in the jungle and he told McQueen to smoke his used cigar?…and he did.
Leper: “How did you know my leprosy is the non contagious type?”
McQueen: “I didn’t.”….
Unlike most people being handed driver’s licenses these days, I can read the signs which are in English. (Saw DMV giving written tests in Spanish before letting these menaces on our streets in cash cars with no insurance)
I have learned to drive with a gun in one hand and my finger out the window with the other hand, and can still use the horn.
Basic truism, not a straight line: Fact is, we will never be as good as we think we are, but we will never be as bad as what we are called in traffic.
… they mistook those “Speed Limit” signs for maximums.
Cat reflexes.
PLEASE don’t get cocky and say it’s because you can drive a Beetle with your penis.
Only after shooting someone in an argument about chickens.
… I make everyone around me adjust to what I’m doing…
Same reason that I’m great and everyone else sucks at everything else.
Driving ability, his name and an enlarged prostate: Three things I inherited from my dad, Dick Trickle.
My car is built like a tank. A Sherman tank to be precise.
Through a complicated legal and medical maneuver (unless you are from Canada) I am my own back-seat driving transgendered mother-in-law organ donor and everybody else can’t wait for me to die.
All the voices in my head giving me advice.
I’ve seen every Steve McQueen movie, while most other drivers were watching The Fast and the Furious.
Remember in Papillon where McQueen was escaping from a brutal prison and he was trying to get a boat from a Leper in the jungle and he told McQueen to smoke his used cigar?…and he did.
Leper: “How did you know my leprosy is the non contagious type?”
McQueen: “I didn’t.”….
CLASSIC
Unlike most people being handed driver’s licenses these days, I can read the signs which are in English. (Saw DMV giving written tests in Spanish before letting these menaces on our streets in cash cars with no insurance)
I have learned to drive with a gun in one hand and my finger out the window with the other hand, and can still use the horn.
Basic truism, not a straight line: Fact is, we will never be as good as we think we are, but we will never be as bad as what we are called in traffic.
I’m that third world bus driver who made it over the mountain.
I have a chauffeur.
I have a Gulfstream G-600.
Two reasons:
1 – I’m a male so that gives me a leg up on half the drivers.
2 – I have 4 legs so that gives me two legs up on the other half.
Well, if you hadn’t been neutered you would have had a working kick-stand that looks like a fifth leg to all the ladies.🦵
Good news, ladies – all original equipment and I know how to drive it good.
Easy facts …
… all who drive slower than me are morons
… all who drive faster than me are idiots
And all (other) drivers who drive the same speed as me? They’re next to me, in the lane I want to merge into.