It’s good people aren’t as concerned with the economy as they are with people without health insurance not being taxed.

With the way Obama keeps blaming Bush, the October surprise may be a drone strike against him.

I already know the text of Obama’s concession speech: “BOOOOOSH!!!”

So how many years does it take until a president’s economic policies are supposed to take effect?

I hope one day the left is colorblind enough to stop seeing Obama as a black president and just as a really horrible one.

Obama: “People said they wanted jobs, so I created a tax on people without health insurance. I don’t know what a job is.”

Phase 1: Tax the rich.
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Jobs!

The only tax that would stimulate the economy would be a tax on whining about the rich.

Obama: “It’s not my fault… it’s those ATMs! Smash an ATM with a bat and create a job!”

Obama: “My financial situation had nothing but improved the past four years, so I don’t know what you all are doing wrong.”

Obama: “Maybe you all need to take some personal responsibility and stop blaming me… when it’s not even my fault; it’s Bush’s.”

So are we having a recovery summer again or did Paul Krugman see his shadow and scurry back underground?

I didn’t read too much into any one jobs report, but added together they’re starting to form a picture of suckitude.

But what do I know. I’m not an economist. When I decided I had too much debt, I cut my spending.

Next thing we’ll see over and over: “Don’t read too much into one credit downgrade.”

Obama: “I – and I can’t stress this enough – have been completely and utterly impotent these first 4 years. But I’ll be awesome the next 4.”

Huntsman isn’t coming to the GOP convention, but Snow White still is, right?

Don’t read too much into the jobs report because it gets really depressing the longer you stare at it.

How do CEOs earn so much money when I’ve never heard of any of them?

When I think of Obama constantly pivoting to jobs, I imagine a dog chasing its tail.

I’m still blaming everything on the irresponsible financial policies of Adam.

It’s just so sincere to see Obama complaining about someone spending too much money.

Did Minnesota ever officially apologize for not voting to reelect Reagan?

Governor Jesse Ventura. Senator Al Franken. That’s the Reagan curse.

Fun fact: Minnesota used to be known for its mild winters until after 1984. ‪#ReaganCurse‬

A restaurant owner suddenly died after serving Obama. Creepy part was how Obama said to him before he died, “You’re doing fine.”

Getting corrected that the restaurant owner was a woman. I just assumed because I didn’t know women could own things.

If we build enough infrastructure we’ll need more infrastructure to get people to their jobs at building infrastructure.

I’d love to do an experiment recording reactions to a joke based on whether the subject was first told, “This is Hitler’s favorite joke.”

Actually, I’d love to do lots of humor experiments. Any university want to fund me? I’ll embezzle less than average.

I’m not really on speaking terms with my alma mater.

Oh, did I mention I graduated from Carnegie Mellon? Because that makes me sound smart. WHICH I AM!