White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said of Obamacare that it’s “a fallacy to say that this is a broad-based tax.”
Anyone else wish Roberts had said that?
Archive of entries posted on 9th July 2012
Moon Nuker Theater: It’s Not You, It’s Me
[High Praise! to Dave]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3)
Also “It Is for the Children”:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #12)
You can take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (“If you can type, you can make movies”). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.
UN Spikes the Irony Meter Again
The UN is considering adding Syria to their Human Rights Council.
Kinda makes sense, I guess. Sorta like nicknaming a fat guy “Slim”.
Looks Like Obama Finally Got That Civilian National Security Force He Always Wanted
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Did you hear about Obama’s new campaign tour bus?“.
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Link of the Day: Science of the Supreme Court’s Obamacare Decision Explained
From Iowahawk (NOTE: contains some adult language):
DNC Scientists Disprove Existence of Roberts’ Taxon
Excerpt:
WASHINGTON DC – Jubilant scientists at the DNC’s High Speed Word Collider (HSWC) announced today they have conclusively disproven the existence of Roberts’ Taxon, the theoretical radioactive Facton particle that some had worried would lead to the implosion of the entire Universal Health Care System.
“I think it’s time to pop the champagne corks,” said HSWC Director David Plouffe. “Then blaze some choom.”
The landmark experiment in Quantum Rhetoric began early this week after legal particle cosmologist John Roberts published a paper in the Quarterly Journal of Tortured Logic that solved the long-debated Pelosi’s Paradox in Universal Health Care Theory.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Where Did the Name IMAO Come From?
When I first thought of blogging ten years ago, I was really excited to get to it. That’s why I didn’t spend much time on the name. I know some people used the abbreviation “IMHO” for “In My Humble Opinion”, so I thought I’d use “IMAO” for “In My Arrogant Opinion”.
That was a horrible idea.
I’ve since had to spend the past ten years answering questions of what exactly does my blog’s name mean. And anytime I say it, I have to be really careful as people will get it confused with LMAO, INAO, IAMO, etc. Also, I didn’t think to check URLs when I made the name, so I had to get IMAO.us since IMAO.com wasn’t available. IMAO.com was a website for a Korean handle manufacturer, but the URL was since bought for thousands of dollars by someone just hoping to catch people who mistype my URL… which is kind of flattering.
Anyway, if I had to do it all over again, I’d come up with a better name. Like just “Nuke the Moon”. That would be a blog name people would remember. Or “Hippie Punch”. Something dynamic.
What would you name IMAO?
Obama to Receive Nobel Participant Prize for Trying Real Hard
OSLO (AP) – Just days after President Obama told a reporter for WLWT-TV in Ohio “that most people in Cincinnati would acknowledge that I’ve tried real hard,” the international community did just exactly that very thing. The Nobel Committee announced today that President Obama would be the recipient of the Nobel Participant Prize.
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“We really wanted to give him the Peace Prize again,” said Committee Chair Thorbjørn Jagland, “but between drone strikes, Gitmo still being open, and the whole ‘chucking bin Laden into the sea’ thing, even an organization as nefariously corrupt as ours couldn’t justify it. That check from Axelrod bouncing didn’t help any, either.”
“Still,” continued Jagland, “we just couldn’t stand the thought of America’s President, weeping, snot-nosed, and tremble-lipped again like he was after the 2016 Olympics went to Rio instead of Chicago. And he DID try ever so hard. It’s not really his fault that he’s, you know, slower than the other world leaders. We thought we should at least give him something that kinda says ‘you’re not smart, but we love your big heart.'”
As a reward for his vigorous yet fruitless efforts, America’s President will receive a hand-crayoned “GOOD JOB!” certificate with an as-yet-to-be-determined number of gold stars and/or smiley faces, suitable for sticking to the White House refrigerator with little fruit-shaped magnets.
“We don’t give this award out to just anybody,” said Nobel committee member Gunnar Stålsett. “For example, intelligent people who actually further human knowledge in useful scientific fields aren’t eligible. However, we believe that young folks with good intentions but poor mental faculties are just as deserving of recognition as some brainiac science-dork. It’s like when your child draws all over the walls with magic marker. You don’t yell at the poor, dim-witted thing. You say ‘Such pretty colors! You are so talented!’. Then you pat him on the head, give him a cookie and send him out to play, just bursting with self-esteem. Plenty of time to clean up the mess later. The important thing is he’s happy and feels good about himself.”
Although now technically out of the running for the Nobel Peace Prize, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said at this morning’s press briefing that the President was still a “strong contender” for both “The Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence,” and “Employee of the Month,” adding that Mr. Obama “expects to be dining on ham and plaques any day now.”
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UPDATE: Linked at Be John Galt
UPDATE: Linked by Red White Blue News
Where Are They Now?
I’ve had a number of cobloggers here at IMAO, so I thought as part of the tenth blogiversary, it would be nice to look back on what’s happened with all of them.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW
Spacemonkey: Dead
Laurence Simon: Dead
SarahK: Married
Right Wing Duck: Dead
Harvey: Wisconsin
Basil: Dead
Mr. Right: I don’t know who he is
Cadet Happy: Whereabouts unknown, but if found, will be made dead
This is Why Skittles Make Obama Nostalgic for His Childhood
What Are Your IMAO Memories?
So what do you remember from ten years of IMAO? And what are your favorite posts?
And why don’t you go through the archives here and at the old version of the site and try and find some forgotten gems and post them in the comments here. I’d do it, but you probably aren’t as busy and important as me.
Straight Line of the Day: Joe Biden Got Some Great News Today…
No Huntsman!
So Jon Huntman isn’t coming to the Republican National Convention because we’re not “inclusive” enough. In my ten years of blogging, I’ve never seen anyway so dense. Really, on a year where conservatives are having to choke on a Mitt Romney candidacy, how receptive do you think they’re going to be about more whining about moderation by some candidate no one ever cared about in the first place? There’s all this talk about the crazy extremists on both sides, but are any of them as out of touch as those whiny moderates in between who sit alone in their bedrooms back-patting themselves for how reasonable and inclusive they are while influencing no one? Do these people have any self-awareness? Extremists may be bad, but at least they’re working towards something. The hyper-moderates these days seem to be motivated by nothing more than they love to hear the sound of their own whines. They are just creepy. Him and Charlie Crist should make their own haunted house — “The Walking Dead Moderates” or something. A zombie is at least a little aware of its surroundings, though.
10 Years of IMAO
Wow. Today marks ten years of IMAO. When I started out I was twenty-three and a bachelor living in Florida, just some dingus who decided to put his view online, and now I’m thirty-three and married with a daughter in Idaho and I’m a published author and get published in an actual newspaper. It’s been quite a journey, and I wonder if we have any readers who have been with us all ten years. Probably not, because by most accounts I got much less funny over time and had to downgrade to less discriminating readers.
So what were those ten years like? Well, here’s what I remember. IMAO was started on July 9th, 2002, on blogspot. On August 15th, 2002, I put up the Nuke the Moon essay, widely considered my last original idea. On October 7th, 2002, IMAO was moved to its own URL, IMAO.us, since IMAO.com was owned by a Korean handle manufacturer. Soon after I had a slogan contest and adopted the slogan “Unfair. Unmedicated. Unbalanced.” To celebrate the new slogan, I stopped taking my medication. It was about that time that time a new commenter named “Harvey” appeared. And then the next nine years were kind of a blur. And then it was today.
Well, I guess a few more things happened than that. I mean, I’ve been blogging like every week day for ten years. I have like a million billion posts now, and I don’t even remember most of them. Like look at this one from 2003. I totally don’t remember it. What was I even talking about? Who was Richard Gephardt?
I guess you could probably piece together the last ten years of America’s political history just by reading through the archives here and at the previous version of the site. There’s probably a lot more strangling there than recorded elsewhere.
Anyway, I plan to keep up blogging for another ten years, as this blog has already brought me so much. Like remember when I had that scam where I had a contest for a “t-shirt babe” to find if I had any attractive readers and it totally worked and now we’ve been married since 2005? And then there were those podcasts we did which were a lot of work but were good memories.
And who knows what I’ll be blogging in the future. Over the next ten years, I plan to become the most famous political pundit and also a best-selling novelist. So ten years from now, my posting here will be even more stale, but each post will get like a hundred praising comments anyway because I’ll be famous and people will want to suck up to me. At least that’s my goal.
So, thank you so much to everyone who has read me throughout these ten years. I had a few things to say, and just needed an audience to say it to. And then it eventually became about how can I make more money through writing. And then I made more money. That’s why America is so awesome: freedom of speech and cash prizes. And now we continue onward as normal… except now I have this new phrase “In my ten years of blogging, I never…” I can use when I want to act outraged by something.
Be honorable, ronin. I forget where that comes from.
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UPDATE: Linked by Dean’s World
IMAO 10th Blogiversary Week: Retrospective – Part 1
Year by year, some of the great posts in IMAO history:
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2002 – Gotta Nuke Something – Frank never actually posted his world famous Nuke the Moon essay at IMAO. He posted it to some random server and just linked it.
2003 – In My World: Rumsfeld Vows to Kill Everyone and Then Sing Kumbaya
Last Thursday, demonstrators vanadlised Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s New Mexico home to protest the war. Recently, protestors returned to Rumsfeld’s home again, this time decorating the trees around his home with their own entrails.
“Was this new vandalism not actually a form of protest, but in fact the result of you viciously murdering the protesters then dismembering their corpses as a warning to others?” asked a reporter at Rumsfeld’s press conference.
“My lawyers told me not to answer questions about the matter,” he answered gruffly.
“Then might we at least ask who’s blood it is that you’re currently caked in?”
“Again my lawyers told me not to answer questions about that matter.”
“Aren’t your lawyers in fact dead?”
“They kept telling me what to do.”
2004 – We Must S.M.I.T.E. Our Enemies! – Frank releases the top secret plans for his new space-based laser platform.
2005 – IMAO EXCLUSIVE: NEW SCOTUS NOMINEE – in light of Roberts’ decision on Obamacare, you might wish Frank’s prediction in this post had been correct.
2006 – End the Fear-Mongering: Facts About Muslims
2007 – IMAO invents lolterizt!
2008 – You Should Vote for Me: An Editorial by Senator Barack Obama – it’ll make you nostalgic for the days when Obama was just a struggling, unknown presidential candidate, and not the man who singelhandedly destroyed this country.j
2009 – Where Obama Went Wrong – More nostalgia, from back when Obama had only done a handful of things wrong.
2010 – Is Science! Just Pushing Us Around?
2011 – Testing Shakespeare – This one is even funnier now that the world knows about The Choom Gang.
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