Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California…
…put up signs declaring it a CRIME FREE ZONE…
…made Joe Biden and his shotgun Sheriff….
…acquired the services of Cleavon Little.
…will rename itself MegaCity One and revamp its legal system.
…outed the entire Raider Nation as being gay. (OK, it doesn’t help the crime rate, but it explains a lot of other stuff)
…blamed the sequester.
Moved in with San Francisco. Next up: In repsonse to rising crime rates, San Francisco….
… debated the necessity of Saturday mail delivery.
…raised taxes, tightened their gun control laws, shut down a few prisons, avoided arresting “undocumented Democrats,” and wondered what they were doing wrong.
… outlawed abortion to keep up with the demand
…built an earthquake-free zone for prison inmates complete with a five-star hotel.
…renamed the city Poison Oakland. Goth population exploded….
..will be nuked from orbit. (It’s the only way to be sure.)
…placated the criminals by making them ‘Queen For A Day.”
…hired John Madden for mayor who in turn initiated the ‘Three Downs And Youre Out’ policy. 🙁
…lined-up the criminals on one side and all the Republicans they could find on the other. Then, they shot the Republicans.
legalized everything….except gun ownership
…hired the A-Team
…Redefined theft, arson, burglary, murder, rape, and vandalism to be “artistic expressions of oppression”, problem solved AND people enlightened
…shouted “that’s why we need more Obama phones”
…did essentially nothing, since they are in California, and are mostly bankrupt, and the inmates run the asylum there.
…put up a big red and white bulls eye facing North Korea
…deployed the Oakland Raiders to the streets, both for crime control, and to toughen those players up, cause they need it
…proclaimed what was previously called “crime” to be political speech and any enforcement of prior “laws” is a hate crime
…is calling the accusation RACIST!!!111!
…legalized the more popular crimes so that they would no longer be counted
… decriminalized everything except being White or Conservative.
…funded high-speed rail all over the city at a cost of $500 Billion then filed for bankruptcy.
…changed Oaklands name to Crookland
changed their signs to say “Welcome to Detroit”
…stuck their fingers in their ears, closed their eyes and started chanting “la, la, la, can’t hear you, la, la, la.”
…sent out a press release touting the increase in income for oppressed citizens.
…had a GLBTENS* appreciation day parade.
* gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, eunich, not sure
. . . repealed all crime laws. New rate 0%!
…started taxing crime at 1120%.
Nancy Pelosi quipped – for every dollar of crime committed, the state economy grows by 11,0002,00.02$$$!!!
…joined Mexico and then stated that their fence was completed causing a stampede of migration to California.
…re-animated Al Davis to select the next criminal draft picks.
…now treats property like high capacity magazines, after everything is stolen the criminals are useless and thrown away. Any replacements will be midgets or jaywalkers.
…lowered the rate by pardoning Ricky Henderson if he promised to return all those bases.
. . . sent its mayor and city council members to France to learn how to set up a puppet government after total surrender to armed thugs, then re-named the city Vichy.
…ordered the police to retreat from high crime areas, then declared victory.
…is going to be the model for the Obama crime bill.
… was chosen as the host city for this year’s Miss Demeanor pageant.
… earned recognition as the natural outgrowth of ACORN-land.
… like other failing societies thoughout history, turned to a fascist dictator in the last resort. Unfortunately, enough of the rest of the country did the same, and he won reelection.
… shot through the door.
…released prison inmates in record numbers to make room for more prisoners.
Deported Themselves to Viet Nam. Well it worked before, kind of. I think.
In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California…
…voted to change the value of all numbers to purple.
…switched to using the same numbers as Obama’s golf score.
…cut out the middleman and decided to declare crime just another means for redistribution.
…decided to elect more criminals to public office, just to keep a better eye on them.
…declared there was no there, there.
…hired more cops, toughened their 3 strike laws, expanded their prison system and voted to ask for the renewal of the death penalty. Then Bobby Ewing walked out of the shower.
…yelled “we’re number 1! In your face Detroit!”
…did point out that as least they have fewer convictions than the Clinton Administration.
“…hired more cops, toughened their 3 strike laws, expanded their prison system and voted to ask for the renewal of the death penalty. Then Bobby Ewing walked out of the shower.”
That line just tickled me. Bacon to you!
In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California…
…pleaded the Fifth.
…adopted the “Hands-off” policy of Sharia law.
…criminalized the reporting of crime rates in Oakland.
…expanded their Midnight Basketball program to 24 hours a day.
went john galt–nobody noticed
…saturated high school football teams with celebrity PSA’s with the message “Gangnam style, dude, not gang rape style. Doooood!”
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