26 Comments

  1. …when she has an “accident” she rubs their noses in it.

    …stole Obama’s bait stash of bacon Beggin’ Strips.

    …it’s like that book, but 50 Shades of Gray Gay Bondage.

    …turns out she doesn’t need honey to draw more flies.

    …after she morphed into a haggard old female Cartman (in 1983) she later stole his Respect My Authoritah!!! line as the only three words in her manifesto.

  2. Hillary Clinton’s newest method for controlling the press…

    traditional Roman decimation.

    those who don’t toe the line will be forced to actually listen to her speeches.

    converting them into flying monkeys.

  3. … is described in a little ditty:

    Trollin’, trollin’, trollin’
    Trollin’, trollin’, trollin’
    And hide!

    Keep trollin’, trollin’, trollin’
    Though the server’s swollen
    Keep them trollers trollin’
    And hide!
    Through rain and wind and weather
    Hell-bent for leather
    Wishin’ my gal was by my side.
    All the things I’m missin’
    Good vittles, love, and kissin’
    Are waiting at the end of my ride.

    Move ’em on, head ’em up
    Head ’em up, move ’em on
    Move ’em on, head ’em up
    And hide —
    Cut ’em out, ride ’em in,
    Ride ’em in, let ’em out,
    Cut ’em out, ride ’em in
    And hide!

    Keep movin’, movin’, movin’
    Polls are disapprovin’
    Keep them Goudys movin’
    And hide!
    Don’t try to understand ’em
    Just lie, deny, re-brand ’em
    Soon we’ll be living high and wide.
    My heart’s calculatin'[!]
    My true love will be waitin’
    Be waiting at the end of my ride.

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