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  1. NY Times Aug. 3/2015 (AP) Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) spokesman Norman Shafter today announced a fine of three million dollars per day for fraud, false advertising, and price gouging will be levied against the famous Timmy Brothers™ water works located in Bushwick NY. The Timmy Brothers™ claim they produce only the finest hand crafted water imported from only the best lakes and streams from around the world. On several occasions their world famous water, long a favorite of the Obama White House, has even been served at state dinners. However, the EPA spokesman says their investigation found that the Timmy Brothers™ have always obtained their water by pumping it from the Hudson River directly to their vast holding vats where various chemicals, water colors, and artificial flavors are added to it. A White House spokesman said the President has ordered all stocks of Timmy Brothers™ water stored in White House cellars to be disposed of. A telephone call to the Timmy Brothers™ water works for comment was answered by a secretary who would not give her name. She did say both Bill and Terry Timmy are now thought to be somewhere in Brazil near the Amazon river surveying sites for a new bottling plant and are unavailable for comment.

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