Fun Facts About the Earth

Hey! This isn’t lolterizt!
I know, but I felt morally obligated to celebrate Earth Day. You’ll get your fix tomorrow.
Meanwhile, enjoy these:
FUN FACTS ABOUT THE EARTH

The earth is held steady in its orbit by a combination of gravity, inertia, and a well-manicured metrosexual.
  • The earth rotates at approximately 1000 miles per hour. The actual speed depends on the latitude of the observer. Apparent speed depends on how many beers he’s had.
  • Roughly 2,000,000 pounds of space dust enters the atmosphere from space every year and reaches the planet’s surface. Some scientists claim that they bring space microbes that cause the flu. Others say that they’re just very tiny space-Mexicans heeding the call of their border-crossing nature.
  • Rainforests once covered 14% of the earth’s land surface, now they only cover 2%, thus greatly reducing the number of places from which velociraptors can lurk and pounce.
  • 80% of all life on earth is found under the ocean surface. Of that total, 63% can be made tasty with lemon and butter.
  • In the last 500 years, approximately 300,000 people have been killed by volcanoes, which is approximately 300,000 more than have been killed by global warming, if you don’t count the people who have been bored to death listening to Al Gore preach on the topic.
  • The earth is 93 million miles from the sun, and it takes the sun’s energy over 8 minutes to arrive on our planet’s surface. The sun is also home to the server which hosts the IMAO home page.
  • Earth is home to over 10,000 religions, all but one of which are wrong.
  • Due to the Earth’s rotation, the planet is not completely spherical, but more of a pumpkin shape. Sorta like Ted Kennedy’s head, except without the persistent odor of gin.
  • If all the ice in Antarctica were to melt, it would cause sea level to rise by 200 feet. It’s also currently the only plausible theoretical way to make hippies bathe.
  • The total number of animal species currently known is 1.5 million. Although some environmentalists estimate that half of these could be threatened with extinction, history has shown only the ones that don’t taste like beef or chicken need to worry.
  • The earth has either one large moon or millions of tiny ones, depending on whether Frank finally got off his lazy ass this morning.
  • The second hottest place on earth is Death Valley, which got up to 134 Fahrenheit on July 10, 1913. The hottest place on earth is anywhere a Marine points to while calling for air support.
  • Lightning hits somewhere on earth 100 times every second, about the rate at which a typical Conservative shudders while contemplating voting for John McCain in November.
  • Although most people are concerned about oxygen, the earth’s atmosphere is actually about 80% nitrogen. This element is useful for providing nutrients to plant root systems and stopping futuristic cyborg attacks – temporarily.
  • The largest ocean on earth is the Pacific, which was named after the pacifists who were killed and tossed into it by pirates and other non-pansies.
  • Over 99.9% of the earth experienced a slight, but measurable, decrease it its average temperature over the last decade. The other .1% received Federal grant money.

What do YOU know about the earth?

Fun Trivia

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What’s my response to the Democrats’ stunt to stay up all night to try and force troops out of Iraq?

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