Gun Accessories

Posted on July 17, 2009 12:26 pm

Here are some neat gun accessories (including a cup holder). Sounds like there would be almost no job more fun than designing gun accessories, and I couldn’t help but come up with a few ideas of my own:

* New safety device that makes sure the gun is pointed at a Communist before allowing the trigger to be pulled.

* Facial recognition so the gun can identify who you shot and automatically send condolences to the family.

* Built in counter to tell you whether you’ve fired six shots or only five in case you lost track of it in the heat of the moment and are encountering an especially lucky-feeling punk.

* Built in taser to shock kids who try to get their grubby hands on your gun.

* Interface with Twitter API so every time you pull the trigger it updates your status to “Shooting a mo’fo’.”

* Barrel shroud that lights up green so it looks like you’re casting the avada kedavra spell from Harry Potter when you pull the trigger.

* Heated grips for firing the gun in cold climates (happiness is a warm gun).

* Power Point projector to go with the laser pointer.

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31 Responses to “Gun Accessories”

  1. Ussjimmycarter says:

    You mean interface to Twitter where gun shoots it’s self because owner does teh Gay!

  2. marvin says:

    What they really need is a spring loaded bayonet that fires its blade out twenty feet, just so we can try to hear the rational from liberals on why this is more dangerous then the ammo in the magazine when they try to outlaw it. And they will.

  3. MarkoMancuso says:

    I would like a gun with a tiny computer designed to think of quotes appropriate for the situation. The gun could utter these quotes instead of going “BANG!”

    “I don’t give a DAMN what you think you’re entitled to!”

    “Buzzards gotta eat too. Same as the worms.”

    “You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?”

    “I’m not doin’ handshows.”

    Etc.

    That would be awesome.

  4. marvin says:

    Or, how about a gun that comes with a cloud of mist onto the target. The mist will be filled with a chemical that attracts bees. That way if you don’t kill the mo’fo he will be enveloped in a cloud of bees, and thus unable to fight back.

  5. storm1911 says:

    A voice warning module for diagnostic purposes.
    “You have a Jane Fonda” a bad round
    “Pulling an Obama” jam
    “Pelosi Pelosi ” damaged front sight
    “Barney Frank is here” damaged rear sight
    “Ted Kwnnedy has aarived” water logged barrel
    “Help! Harry Reid!” shooting blanks

  6. G Fresh says:

    @MarkoMancuso

    Hunting rifles would say, “It’s coming right for us!”

    This is especially good for when you’re hunting ManBearPig.

  7. Rubeus says:

    * Heated grips for firing the gun in cold climates (happiness is a warm gun).

    THAT is a moneymaker, all kidding aside.

  8. IH8Socialist says:

    * Interface with Twitter API so every time you pull the trigger it updates your status to “Shooting a mo’fo’.”

    why gay up a good gun?

    Rember kid gun’s are our friend’s and when the dirty liberal, hippie, commie pinko, socialist fascist comes to take your gun tell them they can pry it from your cold dead hands.

  9. T-Dog says:

    Voice activated trigger mechanism
    cell phone activated trigger mechanism
    stethescope so the gun can automatically find the heart, if the liberals have one, and put them out of their miserable lives faster
    A laugh track for every commie you shoot

  10. Son of Bob says:

    IH8Socialist,

    “Rember kid gun’s are our friend’s and when the dirty liberal, hippie, commie pinko, socialist fascist comes to take your gun tell them they can pry it from your cold dead hands.”

    However, with Frank’s new heated grips, though dead your hands will still be toasty warm.

  11. hwuu says:

    How about a ‘Hello Kitty’ fuzzy tote bag for the gun so it won’t be so scary to liberals.

  12. Aaron Gardner says:

    Love the subtle Beatles ref…made my day…so to speak..;^)

  13. Robin says:

    Love the Twitter accessory, though I’d like it to be customizable

    If there was one for youtube, it could have Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” playing in the background as the video shows bullet impact…

  14. spacemonkey says:

    how about a little thing for the end of the barrel that looks like a face saying ‘O’?

  15. Crusty says:

    * New safety device that makes sure the gun is pointed at a Communist before allowing the trigger to be pulled.

    Oooh! Careful there, Frank. Threatening to shoot the President can get you a housecall from the Secret Service.

  16. cjtony97 says:

    Every bullet has a tiny popup of Slim Pickens riding it.

  17. midwestconservative says:

    The only accessories needed for my guns are high quality optics and a lot of precious metal(copper clad lead and steel core)

  18. Plentyobailouts says:

    * New safety device that makes sure the gun is pointed at a Communist before allowing the trigger to be pulled.
    –With a new pinko/commie/democrat meter so you can pick them out in a crowd.

    – A scope that will not display real American just democrats

    – Reusable bullets so that you can be green while shooting hippies.

  19. Tyler says:

    I love the twitter idea. Make is so.

  20. DesertElephant says:

    #13, In the article, there IS a gun cam for sidearms so the dirty scumbags can’t accuse honest cops of killing their worthless, room temperature Kin. Just set it for whatever social networking/video sharing site you want. And with a 1/4″ jack, you can have an Zune/iPod adapter for endless soundtracking options.

  21. Dohtimes says:

    Stink seeking hippie loads.

  22. IH8Socialist says:

    Check out Knight Armaments chain Saw gun perfect for the zombie attacks:

    http://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2009/01/19/knights-armament-chain-saw/

  23. Live Free Or Die says:

    Sahel Kazemi’s gun played ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’ when the trigger was pulled.>>>Mafia guns come with a canoli holder.>>> The Halliburton Assassination Squad M82A1 Sniper Rifle comes with a Cloaking Device.

  24. MikeLL says:

    Are you guys anti-gun? I mean, seriously, check out this intelligent commentary at the link:

    “Gun owners are wacky and extreme, this article just helps make that more clear.” Posted by: mt | 07/15/09 | 8:27 am

    See? You are helping them! Stop posting this wacky extreme cute-fuzzy-animal (or smelly hippy) killing stuff that makes it more and more clear!

    They are on to us . . .

  25. MikeLL says:

    Posted by: Bruckley | 07/15/09 | 9:33 am
    “guns are pretty neat. They kill far fewer people than cars do, why’s everyone so sceeered of ‘em?”

    Ok. While I appreciate that his heart is in the right place, you can pretty much cue the Deliverance music on that comment.

  26. MikeLL says:

    Posted by: ultimatenerd22 | 07/15/09 | 11:59 pm
    “i kinda want an iphone now.”

    Hmmm. . . no idea what to make of that one.

  27. cjtony97 says:

    MikeLL – They can have my blog post comments……..when they pry them from my COLD DEAD HANDS!!!!!!

  28. MikeLL says:

    cjtony — you are wacky and extreme.

  29. IMAO » Blog Archive » What is Frank thinking? links:

    [...] Any of a list of gun accessories [...]

  30. Buford Gooch says:

    There is a job more fun than designing gun accessories, and I have it (really). We design robots with guns and bombs.

  31. DesertElephant says:

    I love that people claim to be for guns, but not the scary looking ones, for fear of looking wacky and extreme. I want my guns scary as possible and with the bore large enough to make whomever is staring down the wrong end of the barrel wet their tiny pants. More Wacky, More Extreme, More Guns!!!!! Now I’m off to take my meds. :-)

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