In the GMail
Look at this e-mail I just got:
Frank,
I noticed you have a few thousand in savings. Please don’t spend any of it because I already have plans for it. Also, you’re out of Doritos.
kthxbai,
President Obama
I’m really starting to think Obama doesn’t understand the American ideal of privacy and freedom. Plus, he’s a mooch. Here’s what I wrote back:
Barry,
That’s my money! I’m going to buy a bouncy castle and usurp the king and declare myself “Lord of Bounce.” Why don’t you just admit you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re losing all our money, and you have stupid ears and then go resign. And those were Fiery Habanero Doritos! You have to go to Mexico to get those! You suck!
-Frank J.
I’ll tell you if he writes back.
(33 votes, average: 4.91 out of 5)
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November 20th, 2009 at 11:08 am
YEAH! Tell Barry to goes gets his own monies. I doesn’t has as much as I used to under the evil Bush years…
November 20th, 2009 at 11:17 am
“Lord of Bounce”
I’m looking for a rag to wipe-up the coffee…. Would you PLEASE let me get some work done!
November 20th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Hey…wait…you can get the Fiery Habanero Doritos here in Texas! Oh …nevermind… this is Mexico…now.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am
The thought of “President Biden” made me shudder in fear.
Please. Mocking Barry is ok, but don’t taunt him to resign.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Frank J,
That’s ridiculous to think that Barry could have written that email. Everyone knows, if Barry wanted more Doritos he’d just unconstitutionally take over the Frito-Lay company, render its stocks worthless, fire the CEO and command they only make the flavor he likes and deliver them to him on demand.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I found some arugula in the fridge. Goes pretty good with chicken.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Yeah, Marko? I recently discovered Tumeric. Better than curry powder, which is a mixed spice. Now, I’ve got little Tumers popping out all over. But, hey, it keeps the liberals away.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Yikes! 2012 is approaching fast! I come to IMAO to read about super awesomeness like rail guns and Sarah Palin and you Rump Rangers are sharing Spice Favs?
November 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
That’s right, ussjc. Spices! Spicey meatballs!
November 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Having discussed this latest electronic mail revelation with the Council of Elders during the diurnal Silvery Aurg Conclave, our conclusion is that it would be wise for Frank to alter his diet to include more leafy vegetables and complex carbohydrates such as whole grains.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Gotta agree with Son of Bob on this one. It is ridiculous to think hussein wrote that letter. Everyone knows puppets can’t write.
Besides, Doritos is food for peasants, not the likes of his godessness, he only likes waffle flavored arugala.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Plentyobailouts is wrong … dead wrong, IYKWIMAITYD … on the important issue of the diet favored by Lord Teleprompter. Plenty’s word amount to a vicious slur and heinous attack, a well-nigh treasonous assault on our Commander-in-Chief in time of war, with troops in the field. Need I remind you that lives are at stake?
Because he not only likes waffle flavored arugala, but arugula flavored waffes, as well.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Methinks, the Lord (of Bounce) has been duped by a false King of Flounce. The true Once favors soy and tofu.
November 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
You know, for the record, I’ve given up Doritos due to flatulence caused by some mysterious combination of enzyme deficiencies. However, Mr. Obama seems quite concerned regarding Frank’s supply of them. While I have my suspicions, I’d really like to know WHY? – straight from the hOrses a$$, I would. Perhaps, Frank will get that return email from the President and we’ll find out.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I thought Barry only liked the Arugula flavored Doritos.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Give a bro a break, Frank.
Barry “Can’t I Just Eat My Waffle” Obama is just trying to get that munchies monkey off his back. Especially since news of the the Eggo shortage is, like, totally harshing his mellow.
November 20th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Frank I’m sure Barry checked with his newly appointed Doritos Czar before he took your special Mexican Doritos.
November 20th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Why would anyone want a mexican flavored fried corn tortillia? Thats the problem with this country…people dont buy merican no mo! You keep your foreign fried tortillia! Im sticking with BBQ Potato Chips….like a real patriot !
Dang wurld is fallin apart!
November 20th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Barry raises his right wrist to his nose, takes a big long sniffffffffffffff while moving wrist, hand to index finger under his right nostril…. and He Say…ummm Sapphirrrre!
November 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I like arugula flavored chicken. Feel free to shun me.
November 20th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Jimmy: maybe the Billy goats’ troll’s fingers were stained w tumeric. If so, it maybe a Middle Eastern, Indian or North African troll…all known to use tumeric in large quantities.
November 21st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
[...] IMAO » Blog Archive » In the GMail [...]
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Is arugula a spice? I thought it was some kind of lettuce with a snobby attitude.
November 25th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
[...] wrote me back to my e-mail from the other day: [...]