Liberal Anger Levels Warning System
Liberal anger is kinda weird. Often they start freaking out and we don’t even get what they’re problem is. Like with this Ground Zero mosque thing, we ask a few legitimate questions and suddenly the left is shrieking about how we’re destroying the First Amendment (just look at the hysterical Peter Beinart). I thought we were using the First Amendment, but the liberals always had this Constitutional interpretation where it means stuff other than what its words say.
Anyway, to help not be caught off guard, Homeland Security has issued this chart to keep track of liberal anger levels:
Expect it to be update multiple times a day as liberals have lots of mood swings because of all their hormones. And once you know their anger level, you can know how to react.
Actually, regardless of their anger level, I find spritzing them in the face with a water bottle works wonders. Never met one liberals whose faux-righteous anger could stand up to a water bottle.
(44 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
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August 18th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
I love reading your blog! Just when I feel as though my head is going to explode from all of the liberal lunacy, you provide a blog filled with humorous perspective on it all – thanks for keeping my head intact!
August 18th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I usually just throw the water bottle at them.
Unless I bought the water bottle, i.e. Aquafina, Deer Park, etc. Then I throw the bottle at them and buy a canteen.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I didn’t see dress up as an Ewok, shriek, and kill babies on the chart. Must be when their heads explode and all is black.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
make sure to freeze that water bottle before you throw it.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Especially if you fill it with urine.
August 18th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I opt for a hand grenade for throwing at them. Too lazy to fill bottles up with urine.
August 18th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
This looks very much like a military DEFCON (a combination of the words…defense and condition) chart. I guess we could call this a LIBTARD (combination of the words liberal and retard) chart. I believe when it comes to the ground zero mosque we have reached LIBTARD level five.
August 18th, 2010 at 2:58 pm
I wouldn’t waste my water on a liberal. Some ask, “If they could speak coherently, what would they say?” I’m simply not curious, as they’ve never once had an intelligent stand on an issue. Just let them babble in their crazy liberal language to each other.
August 18th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Sarah Palin has super secret control over the Liberal Anger Level by means of her Liberal Head-Exploder Remote Detonator (LHERD). Muahhahahaha!
August 18th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
I would think spritzing them in the face with porcupine quills would work good too.
August 18th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Swatting them on the nose with a folded newspaper while loudly and firmly saying “NO” is effective too, but they really fear the water spritz.
August 18th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Is it possible to fit the Liberals with mood rings that would be color coded to the chart? My theory is impossible to prove, since they seem to react in complete unison. But it seems to me that these cascading mood swings should have an initial catalyst that precedes the big swing. If we can identify the ‘instigators’ perhaps it would be simpler to control them.
August 18th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Great chart. I would reccomend rubing their noses on their own mess awhile spanking them with a newspaper, but they would likely enjoy that.
August 18th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
Too too funny…..thanks !
August 19th, 2010 at 8:50 am
I’m thinking that a changed diaper and bubbling might help them. Always did when my children were infants. Of course now my children have grown up unlike libs who are perennial “enfant terrible”.
How sad for their parents.
August 19th, 2010 at 9:02 am
I notice that Code Red/Unhinged warning is the same warning I’d give about Scary Evil Monkey. Coincidence? I think not.
August 19th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
[...] Posted by guffyconservative on 08/19/2010 No, I did not make this. I stole it, as usual, from IMAO: [...]
August 19th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
[...] IMAO » Blog Archive » Liberal Anger Levels Warning System [...]