Obama has finally figured out why there are no jobs: They are being stolen by robots! Probably robots inherited from Bush!
In a recent interview, Obama blamed automation for why businesses aren’t hiring. So basically all those hundreds of billions of stimulus went straight into the pockets of robots! We thought SkyNet was going to just nuke us one day, but apparently it’s just going to steal all our jobs and starve us out. We’ll be on the streets, begging robots for change, but they won’t give us any and we’ll die.
So anyway, it wasn’t Obama not knowing what he’s doing that caused so much job loss, it’s the ATM, which didn’t exist during the Bush years. Man, are those ATMs evil. Do you know they kill twenty people a day? Someone will just be standing in front of one to get cash, and suddenly a little door on the ATM opens up and a robot hand holding a gun pops out and shoots the person. They keep trying to program the ATMs not to shoot people, but it never takes. Maybe they never should have given them guns in the first place. I don’t know the answer.
I wonder if this is Obama trying to have a more populist appeal. It’s the people versus those heartless robots. And just look at his recent statement:
“Me no like robots! Grr! Me smash robots with rocks and bring jobs!”
Will this help in the 2012 elections? I don’t know. The Dieblold machines which count all the votes probably won’t like it.
I know Obama has a lot to be scared of with robots (if we come up with a self-reading teleprompter, we won’t even need him anymore), but maybe we shouldn’t be so afraid of the future. Maybe robots just make things more efficient and better for everyone. Those educated to be engineers like me will help build and maintain the robots, and others will be converted to precious robot fuel. And aren’t robots the solution to the cost of health care? I think I remember Ace once mentioning this point, but the reason health care is so costly is that you have to have all these heavily trained doctors to do it. If we could instead use easily replaceable robots, health care costs would drop hugely. It’s such a great idea that I drew a detailed picture so maybe someone could turn it into a real thing:
I bet Obama is scared of that, though. And Dr. House. Who would go to mean old Dr. House if you could instead use a robot? Robots don’t limp.