The Best Way to Trim the Fat From Government Spending
A much shorter missive from Hunter, who you may remember from his recent much longer work:
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When people try to personify and envision our government in terms other than “Uncle Sam”, they tend NOT to think “Beauty Queen”, or even “Centerfold” despite the appropriate whorish connotation.
They may think of anything from a Bald Eagle, to the Mighty Colossus, to a Big Fat Pig (complete with lipstick), but overall the once-common association with the Many-Headed Hydra has fallen out of general usage. This is a shame really, because if you took a whole nest of Hydrii, several Chimeras, an Artful Dodger or two, and of course “Sybil” (before or after the psychiatric fraud revelation – doesn’t matter which), and went all “Human Centipede” on their collective posteriors (and orifices), you’d get a monster that seasoned and concerned government watchers would find both horrifying and hauntingly familiar.
We don’t simply need to cut out “all the fat”.
We also need to carve out most of the muscle and a majority of the bones just to get back to the “Dangerously Fit and Trim, Many-Headed Hydra” stage.
Sadly, this is a dragon we can neither slay, nor allow to self-cannibalize.
But returning it to its Constitutional cage would be a great start.
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(9 votes, average: 4.22 out of 5)
May 6th, 2012 at 7:36 pm
“But returning it to its Constitutional cage would be a great start.”
Where it will promptly blow up.
I like the cut of this guy’s jib.
May 6th, 2012 at 10:19 pm
No. Actually what you need to do is get in there with a plus 10 Battle Axe and keep on swinging until not only is the fat gone but we have enough tasty filets for world class barbecue.
May 7th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
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