Archive of entries posted on 11th May 2012

Fred Thompson As Romney’s VP?

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Fred’s off the radio now, but he’s got a website, Fred Thompson’s America, where you can submit questions to him.

He’s having way too much fun with this, too:

Q (from 55358): Honestly, any chance of you accepting the Vice Presidential spot on the upcoming Republican ticket to balance moderate Romney? You have been pretty silent until e mails the last three day, keep em coming.

A: Thanks for asking, pal but NOPE. Have to admit, since I’m poor, homely and have a conservative background, I would provide pretty good balance.

Even better – his response to this one:

Q (from 11413): Why am I getting these emails I am neither a Fred Thompson supporter nor a republican. OBAMA ALL THE WAY!!!

A: Sorry, just thought you could use a little enlightenment. Guess I was right. I like your slogan with one small addition:”Obama, all the way… OUT”

Link of the Day: Fun Facts About Democrats

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[High Praise! to Slapout]

Slapout commented:

“I started blogging some right wing humor a while back… but I kind of let it go.”

Turns out that statement is both true and a crying shame, because the boy had promise.

For example:

Fun Facts About Democrats

I say he should pick it back up again.

What say the rest of you Moon Nukers?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Isn’t This a Sign of the Apocalypse?

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The New York Times saying nice things about Ronald Reagan and Republicans.

Well, indirectly.

They actually quote the Russian immigrants in New York who said the nice things (via NewsBusters):

Another inspiration for their conservatism, scholars and political professionals say, is the legacy of President Ronald Reagan. Kalman Yeger, a campaign manager for Lewis A. Fidler, a city councilman and Mr. Storobin’s Democratic opponent in the State Senate race, said many Soviet immigrants never lost their gratitude to Reagan for his role in the collapse of Communism in the Soviet Union. His 1987 exhortation to Mikhail Gorbachev that he tear down the Berlin Wall still flutters hearts in Brighton Beach.

“The Republican Party was the party that brought them out of despair,” Mr. Yeger said.

As Yakov Smirnoff once said, “In Soviet Russia, you get the hell out of there and move to a free country.”

12 Things Obama Sometimes Forgets About Besides the Economy

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Words you should never utter on the campaign trail in the middle of a long, ugly recession when unemployment is over 8%, as it has been your entire term, despite your promise that it would never exceed that number if you just gave enough money to people who voted for you:

“It was a house of cards, and it collapsed in the most destructive, worst crisis that we’ve seen since the Great Depression. And sometimes people forget the magnitude of it… Sometimes *I* forget.”

Much like a soap opera star, apparently our President is afflicted with random bouts of amnesia. If you’ve followed his career, you may have noticed other episodes of this dread malady, for example:
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“Wait… WHY did I pick Biden for VP again?”

1) He was giving a speech and forgot his line should’ve been “but *I* can never forget.”

2) He forgot he wasn’t supposed to reveal that he was a time traveler from the future and let slip that the US had 7 more states in his home-when.

3) 20 years of sermons, and he could barely remember his pastor’s name, let alone a single word he said. In his defense, though, the only thing I remember from my church-goin’ days is “Jesus”, “hell”, and something about handbaskets.

4) “Birth certificate? Yeah, it’s right… um…”

5) Had to make a composite girlfriend, because he couldn’t remember which girl said what. What man just nods & smiles & doesn’t pay attention when a woman is talking to him?

6) Remember that Warner Brothers cartoon where an elf that looked suspiciously like Elmer Fudd explained how capitalism works? Obama doesn’t.

7) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Damned if Obama can remember what Mr. Owl told him.

8) Even if Barack remembers his wedding anniversary, he always forgets what size hose clamp Michelle wears.

9) “Dasher… Dancer… Prancer… Nixon… Comet… Cupid… Donna Dixon?”

10) “Cinco de… quatro?”

11) “Let’s see, which hand goes over the heart for the National Anthem? Left? Right?… ah, screw it.”

12) Something he had as a child… between bites of snake, grasshopper, and tiger… it was something really tough… Piano lessons?
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November might be a good time to remind Obama how it feels to get shellacked.

You know… in case he’s forgotten.

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UPDATE: Linked by Instapundit (Thanks, Sarah!).

UPDATE: Linked by YouViewed.

UPDATE: Linked by LV Review-Journal

Nuke the News: Shiny Objects

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At PJ Media, I detail my solution to the student loan debt problem.

Rats trained to pull levers to get food pellets have more useful skills than most of today’s college grads. And the cost of training rats doesn’t grow faster than inflation.

I like solving problems. In fact, in my next book coming out in September I solve every problem in America. So we’ll have to find new things to complain about here than problems.

* ROMNEY IS TEH BULLY!!!

Let’s just face it: We’re never going to focus on the economy for more than a couple seconds. We just don’t have the attention span. We try to pay attention to the important issues, and then shiny object pop up. Right now, it’s some poorly sourced bullying incident involving Romney.

It’s hard not to focus a bit on the double-standard here, as the media are digging hard for dirt on Romney but ignoring similar dirt on Obama that can be found just by reading his own book. But there’s no use whining about it; it’s just the way things are. We’re going to have to fight to keep the focus on the fact that Obama is a complete and obvious failure, and the Dems and the media are going to desperately seek any other subject than the important issues.

* That might not work, though. New Rasmussen poll has Romney at 50% and Obama at 43%. Logically, Romney should trounce Obama and this election should be very boring to analyze.

“Well, Obama was very bad at being president so he lost reelection by a large margin. People don’t like reelecting people who are bad at the job.”

We can hope.

* Biden apologized to Obama for forcing his hand on the gay marriage issue. What was the justification again for picking this blundering idiot as a running mate? He supposedly knew stuff about foreign affairs because he sat around in the Senate for three decades voting yes and no on stuff? When making any new government program, you need to ask yourself, “Will morons be able to implement this?” Because that’s all you get.

* The Los Angles Times asks “Is Obama too brainy to be president?” I really can’t tell if people are being serious or ripping me off.

Speaking of ripping me off, I noticed that Stephen Colbert is coming out with a book of a similar concept to my next one. Luckily, mine comes out a month earlier. And will be much funnier.

* Wisdom of the Day from David Burge:

I was expecting the election to be a referendum on govt spending, foreign policy and the economy, not an episode of ‘Glee’.

Random Thoughts: We’re Never Going to Focus on the Economy

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Know who was also a bully? Harry Potter’s father. And we know what happened to him.

Obama had been oddly silent on his stance on human centipede experiments.

Biden is a pretty good running mate as long as you don’t mind his constant requests to tell him about the rabbits.

I don’t know who wrote the hit piece on Obama Dreams From My Father, but I’m glad we have it.

This is all pretty silly.

They’re trying to make it hard to see the economy through the weeds.

Romney should probably try steering the conversation towards how Obama isn’t a very good president.

Saying Romney is a gay-bullying dog torturer is still a far cry from saying he’ll be anywhere near as bad as Obama is as president.

Good News: I’m reading Game of Thrones so I now get some of your references.

I’m out of things to complain about. What am I going to do when I’m old?

You eventually learn to stand up to bullies or you become a liberal.

Finally got to watch Sunday’s Sherlock. It would be hard to do hyperbole about how good that show is.