Rarely does a picture make a point so thoroughly and with such precision:
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
[High Praise! to Chris]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3)
Take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (“If you can type, you can make movies”). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.
Back before Bill Whittle became a PJ Media video star, he had a blog called Eject! Eject! Eject!, which was the oddest site in the entire blogosphere.
Bill would post absolutely nothing for weeks at at time, then he’d post an essay about as long as a Stephen King novel, but it was so incredibly brilliant that EVERYONE would duct tape their kids to the couch and throw their phones out the window so that they could read it straight through without interruption.
IMAO reader Hunter [High Praise!] wrote something recently that reminded me of that, and he asked me to post it, which I do with great pleasure.
Yes, it’s long.
Yes, you’ll wish it were longer.
Duct tape. Kids. Couch. Phone. Window. Enjoy.
______________
My Presidential Address to a Special Joint Session of Congress Regarding the Federal Budget
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am here on behalf of my fellow Americans to speak to you tonight about wrath,
about fury,
about betrayal,
and about blood.
Although the names change over time, and regardless that some members may rightly plead personal innocence, this body together with the office I am now privileged to hold have, within the last few decades, betrayed the public trust, and by acts both of commission and omission have fostered upon the hardworking and honest citizens of this country the greatest financial calamity known to human history.
How dare I call this the greatest financial calamity, when we do not have to push wheelbarrows full of cash to the store to purchase bread, and the bills in our wallets are not printed in denominations of trillions? I dare because I’m speaking in terms of real dollar values, of total assets, of real wealth and actual things, not in percentages of GDP.
It is well known that on numerous occasions in human history entire civilizations have been destroyed. People have been wiped out, their possessions carted away to far-off lands as spoils of war. With their economies, along with everything else, 100% eradicated, and yet with our lights still on, our ability to fill up our cars with gas, and food on our grocer’s shelves, how can I make such a comparison? I make it because in recent decades we’ve been able to lose the equivalent of a prior empire’s wealth and keep the power flowing, our cars running, and our bellies full.
That may start to give you an idea about how wealthy we are. We are the wealthiest country that has ever existed, by far. By. Far.
For example, our technological wealth alone allows the poorest of our poor privileges enjoyed by no emperor in antiquity. And we are blessed by far more than our technological wealth alone.
Our wealth of medical knowledge allows a significant percentage of our population whom nature would have already slain had we lived in our grandparents’ generation, myself included, to happily survive and thrive. And our survival and ability to thrive is bolstered by far more than just our medical knowledge alone.
Continue reading ‘Any President Who Gave This Speech Would Win In a Landslide’ »
Dispense them from The Sharper Image’s motion-sensing candy machine:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #5,007)
Discover if you should marry that woman:
If she agrees to exchange these rings at your wedding, she’s a keeper.
* So have you ever wondered how Barack Obama wrote a couple memoirs while never once doing anything useful to anyone? Easy: He just made stuff up. Obama admitted that a girlfriend mentioned in Dreams From My Father was actually a “composite” girlfriend. So how much more of his books is just made up? And has anyone actually read these because why are we just finding out the dog-eating and the imaginary girlfriend stuff now?
Fine. I’ll read his book.
Hmm… most of it is about him being a hard-boiled private eye in New Orleans. And then he meets a magical unicorn that only he can see that helps him solve crimes. It’s pretty good, actually.
* On the subject of made up stuff, Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is apparently a millionth Cherokee and once claimed minority status. I mean, if I said “privileged, white, humorless, feminist liberal”, an exact image of her springs to mind, and yet she tried to pretend she was some sort of discriminated against minority. And now she’s crying sexism that someone would make an issue of this. I think someone has been drinking too much fire water.
Man, does Scott Brown luck out on opponents. I think it’s the liberals have gotten too fat and lazy in Massachusetts since they’re just not used to having any competition. In most other states, liberals would be a little more wary to hide Elizabeth Warren type nonsense.
* Romney is actually trying to hold up being wealthy as something to aspire to instead of something to whine and bitch about. He went to a rich friend’s home and said:
“What a home this is, what grounds these are, the pool, the golf course, you know if a Democrat were here he’d look around and say no one should live like this. Republicans come here and say everyone should live like this, all right. This is a really tribute to America, to entrepreneurship.”
I don’t expect much out of Romney, but Americans have kinda had the hope beat out of them by the Obama years, and it is time we aspire to better things instead of just whining about the others who already obtained it. Obama wants everyone to be happy just barely making it, and America needs a much bolder vision than that. One of us sitting on a pile of riches laughing down at all other countries.
* Apparently there is some weird, low pitched hum emanating from America that only Canadians can hear. This sounds a bit like something from an X-Files episode. If Canadians heads start exploding, we’ll know something is up. As to why our government would want to explode the heads of Canadians, I can’t say. The government does lots of things I don’t understand or care about.
* Wisdom of the Day from Dave Weigel:
Tip for Elizabeth Warren: If Scott Brown’s campaign tries to give you free blankets, SAY NO.
We should have known Obama’s girlfriend in “Dreams From My Father” was made up since her name was “Georgia Glass.”
I never thought the kid who ate dogs and had an imaginary girlfriend would one day grow up to be president.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been clear that SarahK is a composite wife.
The whole Jon Lovitz thing is fascinating. I love his honest surprise that anything he is saying is controversial or newsworthy.
So what’s Scott Brown’s secret to getting horrible opponents?
“So I’m supposed to vote for the guy whose wife is in the thousand dollar shirt? COME ON!” -citizen Gob
