[High Praise! to EdthePastor]
Bill Whittle & Andrew Klavan give the MST3K treatment to Obama’s insipid “The Road We Traveled” campaign ad, and also throw in pop-up info-nuggets every time someone tells a lie – so those are pretty much non-stop.
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #47,862)
Pretty good job for not having any homemade robots assisting.
For the last couple of months, I’ve spent time locked in a satellite, being forced to watch bad movies with a couple of wise-cracking robots.
Wait. Maybe that wasn’t me, but someone else. I think I may have seen that on TV or something.
Yeah, that’s what it was.
I used to enjoy watching Mystery Science Theater 3000. Still do, in fact. I have all of the episodes on disc or recorded.
If you remember the show, you’ll recall that there was a character, TV’s Frank, played by Frank Conniff, that joined the cast at the start of Season Two and left at the end of Season Six. I liked the character. A lot. He was funny, and Frank Conniff made him really likable.
What’s Frank Conniff up to now? He’s still a comedian, and besides doing stand-up and participating in Cinematic Titanic shows, is doing commentary for Salon.com. Yes, it’s political. And yes, Frank is a liberal. Frank Conniff, I mean. Here’s his first Salon commentary.
[Vimeo direct link]
Tip: Satellite News
Now, if you’re a fan of MST3K, as Frank J., Harvey, and I are, I’m curious as to what you think of Frank Conniff’s commentary. Lots of Satellite News readers agree with his politics, but a good number don’t.
I had a brief back-and-forth with one of the commenters there. He ended up linking to IMAO as evidence that I’m political or something. I thanked him for the link.
Anyway, what about you? Was it funny, regardless of political bent? How about the forum, an MST3K fan site? Is that the place for political commentary? And what about entertainers who go political? Does it ruin your appreciation of their past work?
What do you think about Frank Conniff’s commentary?
UPDATE: Linked by Frank Conniff. I think he thinks we think he sucks. I don’t think he sucks. I think his politics suck, but that’s true of most entertainers.
[High Praise! to EdthePastor]
My instinctive reaction, like yours, was “that’s crazy talk! Get the straight jacket!”, but he makes some good arguments in support of his statement.
For self-defense: .22 beats .45
Of course, as my favorite firearms instructor once said, “the best weapon for self-defense is the one you actually carry with you”, so even the mini-pepper-spray on your keychain beats a .45 sitting in your nightstand if you’re out and about.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
High Praise! to Patrick who suggested Frank’s comment on Obama’s new motto would look good on a bumper sticker:
Which is now available in the IMAO Store.
The Bacon Sundae: Brilliant Or Tragic?
Although the rightness of the first answer is staring-at-the-sun-from-Mercury blindingly obvious, they actually bother to make a few weak stabs at considering the opposing point of view in order to claim “the bacon sundae is inspiring fierce debate.”
The only debate is whether it’s merely indescribably delicious, or actually so awesome that it’s what dead Cthulhu waits dreaming of in his house at R’lyeh.
I can’t imagine worse headline-writing from NPR.
Oh wait… yes I can:
* “Rain Ends Heartland Drought; Thousands of Worms Drowned, Homeless.”
* “Hand-Sanitizer Menace Threatens Salmonella Bacteria Biodiversity”
* “$100 Million Lottery Winner Suffers Paper Cut From Ticket: Was It Really Worth the Pain?”
* “Cancer Cure Causes Tragic Reduction of NPR Human Interest Story Reporting Staff.”
No matter how good the news is, liberals can find a way to cry about it.
Unprecedented rise in quality and quantity of human life on earth due to the industrial revolution, capitalism, and the superpower status of post-WWII America?
Tragedy! Tragedy! Tragedy!:
Every road, shipping route, and flight path lit up like a beacon of hope, while the voiceover drones on about the horrors of rising global temperatures.
Which, ironically, industrious American capitalists have already cured by inventing the $100 air conditioner.
[High Praise! to TBinSTL]
The thing about Rumford Meteor is that they write headlines that would make the guys at the Onion green with envy, but it just puts them on legitimate news stories instead of making stuff up and running with the satire.
So the stories aren’t worth reading unless you’re genuinely curious, but headlines like this are not to be missed:
* Organic Farmers Know That Consumers Don’t Mind A Little Listeria As Long As They Get It From Farmers Who Care
* Gender Studies Philosopher Thinking Of Enlisting OJ Simpson’s Help To Look For The Malicious Dastard That Keeps Lending Her Tuition Money
* Local Student Wonders When Machinist School Will Get Around To Exploring Sustainable Transgender Anarcho-Socialist Free-Range Machining
Generally updated several times daily, including weekends.
“On this anniversary of Osama bin Laden’s death,” President Obama told the press, “it’s important to remember how awesome it was that it was my say so that made bin Laden dead. I still remember making that momentous decision.”
* * * *
“Okay, I need a yes or no on getting bin Laden,” the general told Obama.
“Could you explain the options again?” Obama asked.
The general sighed. “‘Yes’ means we will send SEALs in to get bin Laden. ‘No’ means we will not send SEALs in to get bin Laden.”
Obama nodded. “I’ve made a decision: I vote ‘Present’.”
“That wasn’t one of the options! Here, we’ll try something new.” The general held out a colorful ball in each hand. “If you pick the red ball, we get bin Laden. If you choose the blue ball, we don’t get bin Laden. So pick a ball.”
Obama studied the two balls carefully. “I want a purple one.”
* * * *
“And who can forget the heroism of the Navy SEALs?” Obama continued in his speech. “Well, I often do when telling the harrowing tale of how I made the decision to get bin Laden, but the SEALs deserve at least some credit. I still remember personally greeting them after they did their minor part in stopping bin Laden.”
* * * *
The president’s aide rushed into the Oval Office. “Mr. President, I have some… news to tell you.”
“What?”
“Osama bin Laden is… dead.”
Obama stood up from his chair. “But I just saw him on TV alive and well!” Tears welled in his eyes. “How did this happen?”
“The SEALs shot him in the head, sir.”
“What?! They were supposed to bring him back alive! And then we were going to come to a peace agreement together, live on television!” Tears started to stream down his face. “And then we were going to be best friends and I was going to show him my model train set and then we were going to upgrade it to high speed rail together!” Obama fell back in his chair and buried his head in his arms, weeping. Finally, he looked up. “At least tell me they gave him a proper Muslim burial.”
“They… chucked him in the sea.”
Obama let out a mournful cry and put his head on his desk while sobbing.
“Anyway,” the aide said, “the SEALs who did it are here to see you.”
SEAL Team Six entered the room. Obama then rushed them, pounding one on the chest with his tiny fists while screaming, “You monsters! All he wanted was to get Muslims more respect and you shot him! You monsters!” Obama then collapsed to the floor crying.
The SEAL looked to the aide. “Are we done here? We want to go get beers.”
“Sure.”
They left and Obama weakly looked up at his aide. “I’m going to need some comfort food.”
The aide nodded and then turned to the door and yelled, “WE’RE GOING TO NEED A NEW BO!”
* * * *
“But we can’t let all that silly SEAL team worship overshadow my heroism,” Obama told the press. “It’s like in Star Wars how everyone recognizes that the true hero of the movie is the guy who told that stupid farmboy Luke, ‘Hey, go blow up that Death Star.’ That’s me; it was all my idea to kill bin Laden, and it got done.
“Now, would Romney have made the same decision? Probably not. He’d be too busy counting his money to approve of killing bin Laden. That’s what happens when someone is an out-of-touch, really rich guy instead of an in-touch, somewhat rich guy like me.
“Anyway, of course I’m now writing a new memoir — my third. It will be entitled ‘I Killed bin Laden’. It will be only five pages, but unlike my other memoirs, it will have an actual accomplishment in it instead of just a bunch of padding written by Bill Ayers.”
* * * *
At a campaign event, Romney responded to the charges that he wouldn’t have ordered the raid on bin Laden’s compound. “That’s ridiculous,” he told the press. “If I got a report that a foreigner had been located, I would have asked, ‘Does he do lawn work?’ And when I was told that no he did not, I would say, ‘Then we should do something about him.’ Then I would have written out the order to handle that bin Laden chap and handed it to my butler to be delivered to the right people. And then I’d let other people take care of all the details because I’m a very rich, important person who can’t be bothered with such things. But it’s preposterous to say I would have shied away from ordering a kill on bin Laden; even that eunuch Jimmy Carter would have done that.”
“It’s true!” Jimmy Carter said, popping up behind Romney. “If you drew a line representing my level of competency, knowing to order a raid on bin Laden would be one of the few things that fell under it.” He patted Romney on the back. “Thanks for recognizing that.”
“Eww.” Romney dusted of his suit jacket. “You’re getting peanut shell dust and failure on me.”
After awhile, you get used to 9% unemployment. #ScrappedObamaAds
Kids used to like me. #ScrappedObamaAds
America was always like this. #ScrappedObamaAds
If you like your job, you can keep it. #ScrappedObamaAds
As Good As It Gets #ScrappedObamaAds
Obama: “There’s too much focus on Luke blowing up the Death Star. I want to see more about the guy who gave him the go ahead.”
Obama makes me think of Mr. Burns telling Daryl Strawberry to hit a home run. “I told him to do that!”
Holy. I just looked it up and that Simpsons episode I just referenced came out TWENTY YEARS AGO.
Politicians are morons. If you can find one who knows he’s a moron, make him president.
Conservatives are too mad about Obama celebrating OBL’s death. Have some compassion; IT’S ALL HE HAS!
Every president deserves at least one accomplishment. I assume Jimmy Carter did something right. I don’t know what; I’m not a historian.
My proposal: New taxes on putting all your belongings in a handkerchief tied to the end of a stick.
Why do Americans pay taxes at all? Can’t we just tax foreigners?
UPDATE: Linked by Last Jedi Master
