My favorite part is at 1:16
Also I don’t get the reference at 1:36. A little help?
Archive of entries posted on 24th May 2012
“Meanwhile, at the Hall of Social Justice…”
The Occupy Movement Explained in One Panel
Obama, Gay Marriage, and the Gay DC Superhero
According to Newsweek, Obama’s the first gay President.
According to DC Comics, a well-known superhero is coming out of the closet.
Kinda makes you look at this picture a little differently, doesn’t it?:
Man of Steel, President of Kleenex.
Link of the Day: 10 Largest Caliber Weapons Ever
Figured you might be depressed from all Obama’s political riff-raffery, so here’s something in a 2nd Amendment vein to brighten your day. Most of these have videos so you can watch these babies in action.
10 Largest Caliber Weapons Ever
I’m kinda partial to the Punt Gun, myself:
The gauge of a shotgun goes down as the caliber goes up. For instance, the standard 12 gauge is equal to a 0.72-inch caliber, but is a small fry compared to the giant 2-gauge punt guns used in the 19th century. These formidable weapons were used for commercial hunting, bringing down whole flocks of wildfowl with a single blast. They were later taken up by sportsmen.
Too heavy to be lifted, the punt gun was fired from a rest in a one-man boat. The barrel was equivalent to 1.3-inch caliber and could fire a load equal to about 40 standard 12-gauge shells. Punt gunning proved so effective at killing flocks of birds that many states outlawed it by 1860.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Moon Nuker Theater: Wind Turbine Flunky – IMAO Exclusive!
[High Praise! to Les of Brick Moon]
Raise your hand if you’ve never thought about doing this to an EPA official:
Although Les makes his own videos, you can take a hippie-punch at fame by creating your own IMAO-worthy video at Xtranormal (“If you can type, you can make movies”). Send a link to harvolson-at-gmail.com and I’ll give it a look. If it isn’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, I’ll post it and let the readers throw roses and/or tomatoes at you.
The 20 Oddest Tips on the White House’s Finances for Kids Website
Yes, it’s odd that a White House that’s up to 300,000,000 people’s eyeballs in debt feels qualified to hand out sound financial advice to young folks, but it’s not half as odd as the advice itself. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Unfortunately, I forgot to get a screenshot as proof in case these get taken down later (the White House is sneaksy & tricksy like that), but I guarantee(*) all these were on the site this morning.
(* not a guarantee):
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1) You need money to buy things. Or someone else’s money. Permission optional. Which is called a “tax.”
2) You earn money by working. Or you can become “entitled” to it by not working. Either way is fine.
3) You may have to wait before you can buy something you want. If you can’t wait, beat up a nerd and take his lunch money.
4) There’s a difference between things you want and things you need. This difference is unimportant if you’re using nerd lunch money.
5) You need to make choices about how to spend your money. When making choices, consider things like “how much does this cost after sales tax?”, “will this fit under my coat?”, and “is anybody watching me?”. Remember to check the ceiling for cameras and the corners for convex mirrors.
6) It’s good to shop around and compare prices before you buy. If you find a lower price, peel off that sticker and place it on the item you want.
7) It can be costly and dangerous to share information online. To protect yourself, give your money to President Obama’s campaign. Say your name is “Doodad Pro”. List your employer as “Loving” and your occupation as “You.” They won’t check. Total security!
8) Putting your money in a savings account will protect it and pay you interest. Lower than the rate of inflation, and hopefully Occupy protesters won’t set fire to the bank’s records.
9) You should save at least a dime for every dollar you receive. And remember to put away 15 cents on every dollar for taxes, or we’ll put a lien on your skateboard.
10) Entering personal information, like a bank or credit card number, online is risky because someone could steal it. Let the government hold onto your personal information where it’ll be nice & safe until Wikileaks hacks the servers.
11) The sooner you save, the faster your money can grow from compound interest. Don’t worry about how that works if you’re just a dumb ol’ girl. Math is hard.
12) A credit card is like a loan; if you don’t pay your bill in full every month, you’ll be charged interest and owe more than you originally spent. Kinda like when Vito & Knuckles broke your daddy’s kneecaps for not making the vig.
13) When comparing colleges, be sure to consider what each school would cost you. Do NOT give any thought as to the odds of your chosen major being a ticket to gainful employment. That Anthropology degree will net you an easy $7.25 an hour at ANY McDonalds, where you can drop Margaret Mead quotes to your heart’s content.
14) You should avoid using credit cards to buy things you can’t afford to pay for with cash. Just use the numbers on the front of the card, instead. Preferably the front of someone else’s card.
15) Your first paycheck may seem smaller than expected since money is taken out for taxes. To avoid future disappointment, try Googling “under the table.”
16) A great place to save and invest money you earn is in a Roth IRA. That’s where you pay the taxes up front, your earnings grow tax-free, and the money you withdraw after retirement is also tax-free. Unless a future Democrat-controlled Congress decides otherwise. Which they would never do. Trust us. Really.
17) You should use a credit card only if you can pay off the money owed in full each month. Or if Old Navy’s having a really big sale, because that way you can pay off your credit card with all the money you’ll save! [This tip sponsored by Old Navy. Old Navy – The creepiest commercials since Fruity Oaty Bars]
18) You need health insurance. HA! Just kidding! You’re young and healthy and your biggest medical expenses will be condoms and aspirin until you’re at least 30.
19) It’s important to save at least three months’ worth of living expenses in case of an emergency. Plus a shotgun for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. And for God’s sake – CARDIO and DOUBLE TAP, people!
20) Always consider two factors before investing: the risks and the annual expenses. Don’t worry about Projected ROI Solution Matrices, girlie. Math is still hard.
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I guess the REAL question here is – if the government thinks this information is vital to teaching children how to handle money, why isn’t it being taught in the government-run, attendance-mandatory school system?
Which Candidate Will Kill the Fewer Number of Jobs?
In my new PJ Media column, I suggest we look at the presidential election as being able to pick our opponent — we want the candidate who will kill the least number of jobs. It’s as if Batman got a choice between dealing with a crime spree by Catwoman or the Joker.
Wisdom of the Day: Fajitas
From Bryan Donaldson:
“Hey Carlos, I’ll bet you $10 I can trick those dumb gringos at table 6 into making their own tacos!” – how fajitas were invented
This Is the Invisible Tagline on Every Democrat Speech
A professor at Brooklyn College compared global warming deniers to Holocaust deniers, and in one of his articles, said that if we don’t fight greenhouse gasses, “billions of people” will die.
Isn’t this pretty much the Liberal argument for every single government program?
“Drive an electric car, or billions of people will die.”
“We must have universal government health care, or billions of people will die.”
“Support gay marriage, or billions of people will… be moderately inconvenienced.”
Ok, maybe not that last one.
But still, let’s be honest. Although liberals think this sounds like a rational argument, it really sounds more like something a James Bond villain would threaten if he wasn’t given $100,000,000 in cash.
And if it sounds like Ernst Blofeld is writing your party platform, maybe it’s time for some soul-searching.
Nuke the News: Day Two Promises
* Romney is making a bunch of “day one” promises. Me, I’d make day two promises. Day one is going to be spent making sure my office computer is set up right and has all the programs I need. Then I’ll spend time getting the lay of the building and knowing where the coffee pot is and what are the good places for lunch nearby. But day two, I’ll get to business… but not right in the morning as I kind of like to ease into the day. But day two somewhere around the afternoon America is going to see a lot of change.
* The White House website is now offering financial advice to kids. Who wouldn’t want to learn from those financial geniuses who are somehow able to spend trillions of dollars to noticeable effect?
The advice includes:
– Just spend money on whatever you feel you deserve and not worry about the costs. Money isn’t a real thing anyway.
– Budgets are racist.
– If someone questions you on your huge debt, just blame the prior administration your parents for it.
The White House has already met with numerous schools to teach its financial advice. There were no survivors.
* A judge is recommending that the U.S. ban the XBox over a patent dispute. Obama needs to tread carefully here if he wants to hold on to his precious youth vote. Michelle will probably want this (“Video games make kids fat and I hate fat kids so much I could vomit!”), but all the youth will hate him for it. If anything, he needs to make it so you can vote from within Liberty City or something as it’s about the only way to get those lazy idiots to the polls. Lazy idiots are the backbone of the Democrat Party, it’s just they don’t vote in large numbers. Because they’re lazy.
* The Great Gatsby is being made into a 3D movie for some reason. I remember reading it in high school and being very bored by it. Of course, these “classic” books they have us read were never aimed at teens, though they’re the ones who always are forced to suffer it. I still have intentions of being a novelist, so should that be my goal: That one day, far in the future, my book will be used to torture kids? Or maybe in the future they’ll have kids study classic video games. I can just seem them getting bored to tears with the original Super Mario Brothers. It doesn’t even have an online component!
Random Thoughts: Classics in 3D!
Romney spends his money on cool things. Obama spends my money on sucky things.
I don’t get the strong negative reactions to Romney. That’s like having a visceral hatred of vanilla ice cream.
“Sit around and do nothing all day with small chance of becoming most powerful man in the world. $230k salary.” -Craigslist ad for VPOTUS
The caveman who first invented the pun must have been considered a genius and then murdered.
Buttercup is learning a lot about letters and numbers from Sesame Street, but I wish they spent more time covering WWII.
One day I’ll be rich and famous and not need any of you. So enjoy this time.
I remember reading The Great Gatsby in high school and thinking it would be great in 3D.
“F. Scott Fitzgerald, is this book aimed at high schoolers?”
“Not really.”
“Well, 60 years from now, that’s who will be reading it.”
I hope to write a novel so good that tons of people eagerly read it now and then unhappy teenagers are forced to read it 50 years from now.
Classic literature has taught me that the past was a hellishly boring time to live in.
If you’re really tired of Birthers, getting Obama out of public office will probably shut them up significantly.
Meet the REAL Julia
It’s not the name that’s actually used in this anti-Obama ad, but if the oh-so-composite Julia were real, THIS would be her life’s story under Obama:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #75,440)
[Via Hot Air]