Fun Facts About Oiho

Posted on August 25, 2012 8:30 pm

With the permission of Harvey and in humble homage to his Fun Facts About the 50 States , I think it is high time that we look at some fun facts about the state of Oiho….

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* Oiho became the 58th state on August 21, 2012 by executive order of President Obama, despite calls for the contrary by residents of the 57th state of North Virginia Carolina.

* The state flower of Oiho is the Corpse Flower, and is dedicated to the memory of the Navy corpsemen from Oiho that fought in past wars.

* A large number of Corpsemen come from Oiho, and represent an important voting bloc for the Democratic Party.

* While the ambulance was invented in Ohio, the method of writing “AMBULANCE” backwards on the front of the vehicle was invented in Oiho as a means of confusing lawyers approaching it from the front.

The state flag of Oiho is basically a rip-off of the French flag, but with O-i-h-o written in big letters lest anyone forget how to spell it correctly.

* Doctors at the Oiho State University Medical Center were the first to perfect the method of testing kids for asthma using a breathalyzer.

* It is now state law in Oiho that erratic drivers be pulled over and administered an asthma test by police.

* The state is named “Oiho” which is a Native American Warren tribe word for “You didn’t build that teepee”.

* Oiho State University is the largest school in the state. The football team is named the Oiho State Buckets.

* The mascot of the Oiho State Football Team is a man in a suit wearing a bucket on his head.

* The fans also usually wear buckets on their heads to support the team, but have trouble following the games this way.

* The hothound was invented in Oiho in 2009. Unlike the hotdog, it is actually made of dog.

* Hothounds are traditionally served at all Oiho State football games, but are difficult to eat with a bucket on your head.

* Cleaverland, Oiho is the home of the Mom Jeans Hall of Fame. Across the street is a museum dedicated to nerdy bicycle helmets.

* The state of Oiho currently bans its citizens from visiting most of Asia, including the small island Asian country of Hawaii.

* The Intercontinental Railroad first began construction in Cincy, Oiho, connecting Oiho to France.

* Toldeo, Oiho was the site of the first Special Olympics Bowling Championship. The winning score was 129.

* Every Memorial Day, the city of Akorn, Oiho holds a parade including corpsemen and fallen heroes.

* Dual use door-windows were first used in Oiho. The placement of these in all government buildings was a requirement for statehood.

* Oiho is one of the only states to not allow citizens to conceal-carry guns. The state does, however, issue permits for the bitter-clinging of weapons.

* The permit also allows for the bitter-clinging of religion. Only one religion and one gun can be bitterly clinged to at a time.

* Oiho is home to the national Typical White Person Association. Its mission is to be typical, white, and bitterly cling to things.

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That about wraps it up for fun facts about the state of Oiho. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go try and eat a hothound with a bucket on my head.

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UPDATE: Linked at Legal Insurrection.

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16 Responses to “Fun Facts About Oiho”

  1. EJ says:

    Very well done. The 50 states series has been my favorite thing about IMAO lately, but this one (sry Harvs) trumps its entries so far.

  2. Harvey says:

    EJ – Agreed. Keln’s got some SERIOUS comedy chops on him.

  3. Eric Praline says:

    Are we going to be seeing more facts about some of the other lesser-known states like North Virginia Carolina, East Dakota, and Chico State?

  4. Keln says:

    Maybe…

  5. Keln says:

    @ Harvey

    If’n I had the choice, I’d prefer some serious pork chops on me. Because they are delicious. And they are related to bacon.

  6. Harvey says:

    Keln – If you feel like making up the other 7 states that Obama believes in, you absolutely have my blessing on that mission.

    Just remember to hand out High Praise! to Eric for suggesting it, if you do.

    Yes, as an IMAO co-blogger, you now have the awesome power to dole out the HP!

  7. Keln says:

    @ Harvey

    Well, it is entirely possible that the flags for East and West Dakota might be on my harddrive already…

    And I can give High Praise? Holy crap…

    I feel like He-man now. I have the power!

    Wait…but isn’t bacon better than High Praise? I’m confused…

  8. Harvey says:

    To clarify:

    High Praise! is the ultimate honor that an IMAO co-blogger can bestow upon those who do something nice for IMAO and deserve a reward.

    “Bacon” is how Moon Nukers honor each other.

    IMAO co-bloggers – because they read IMAO and are thus considered “Moon Nukers” may – at their discretion and in their capacity as Moon Nukers – honor other Moon Nukers with bacon.

    Does that help clear things up?

  9. JC says:

    And here I thought they ere the “BucketEyes”. Silly me.

  10. zzyzx says:

    Olson Johnson: All right… we’ll give some high praise the Moon Nukers and the IMAO Co-Bloggers. But we don’t want the Irish!

  11. Iowa Jim says:

    Many foreigners (including residents of New York City) confuse Oiho with Oiwa.

  12. Son of Bob says:

    Bacon to you Keln. Or, in the world of Barack Obama, “Baocn”

  13. Mr. Right says:

    HP!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~HP!!!

    …That would be a pound of bacon wrapped in High Praise!!!

    Hilarious!

  14. Mr. Right says:

    Oops! Guess there’s no automatic wrapping of text in the comments!

  15. slapout says:

    I don’t get the breathalyzer reference…

  16. Keln says:

    @ slapout

    That’s because I used the wrong reference link. Good catch!

    Have some ~ and try the link again.

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