Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

With every EBT Food Stamp card, you now get…

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32 Comments

  1. …to wait while a hologram of Obamanikita bows to you and says thank you in the language of your choice when you check out.

    …a 50-50 chance of having a home invasion robbery by local thugs or Michelle’s food police.

    …a fork lift to get you back and forth from store to sofa.

    …a two for one coupon on all mixed breed dogs not prepared in the deli section.

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  2. . . . a card that reads:

    “Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that using EBT cards is dangerous to the health of your descendants.”

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  3. “a digital photo printed on the card, which makes your EBT card an affordable photo ID suitable for showing at your local precinct when you want to vote.”

    Oh wait. That makes sense. It’s probably racist.

    Must.

    Purge.

    Racist.

    Thoughts.

    From.

    Brain.

    AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

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  4. …a bonus race card.

    …a note from Nancy Pelosi thanking you for helping the economy by buying stuff with government money.

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  5. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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