Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get… Posted by Harvey on 11 December 2012, 12:00 pm Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments. With every EBT Food Stamp card, you now get…
…an Obama-phone and an international phone card so you can tell all your relatives about this great country! Reply to this comment
A puffy woman appointee of the Obama Administration trading card — Collect them all, trade them with your friends. Reply to this comment
A cookbook by Michelle Obama. (Your tax dollars at work for someone’s royalty checks….) Reply to this comment
Double stamps on Wednesday (you have to be old enough to know what I am talking about). Reply to this comment
…to wait while a hologram of Obamanikita bows to you and says thank you in the language of your choice when you check out. …a 50-50 chance of having a home invasion robbery by local thugs or Michelle’s food police. …a fork lift to get you back and forth from store to sofa. …a two for one coupon on all mixed breed dogs not prepared in the deli section. Reply to this comment
a form to sign, giving absolute power-of-attorneyover your life to the democrat party, forever. Reply to this comment
. . . a card that reads: “Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that using EBT cards is dangerous to the health of your descendants.” Reply to this comment
A thank you card for your vote from Barry and your next ballot, already filled out with a postage paid envelope. Reply to this comment
“a digital photo printed on the card, which makes your EBT card an affordable photo ID suitable for showing at your local precinct when you want to vote.” Oh wait. That makes sense. It’s probably racist. Must. Purge. Racist. Thoughts. From. Brain. AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Reply to this comment
…a bonus race card. …a note from Nancy Pelosi thanking you for helping the economy by buying stuff with government money. Reply to this comment
… a “rich” person’s credit card number.
a ‘Wok Your Dog’ cookbook
an Obamaphone
…”preferred voter” status.
Voter application for one dead person of their choice
…the right to call those who paid for that card “racist”.
a free round of golf lessons, taught by The One.
Eric Holder’s Fasting and Furious book of inspirational quotes…
A copy of “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” ’cause your belly ain’t gettin’ any.
A “You didn’t eat that!” commemorative wall plaque.
…your grandchild’s paycheck.
…an Obama-phone and an international phone card so you can tell all your relatives about this great country!
… Union dues automatically deducted from said card.
A puffy woman appointee of the Obama Administration trading card — Collect them all, trade them with your friends.
…another idiot to vote for you, Mr. Democrat!
…another day older, and deeper in debt.
A cookbook by Michelle Obama. (Your tax dollars at work for someone’s royalty checks….)
A free toaster and a gay wedding.
Double stamps on Wednesday (you have to be old enough to know what I am talking about).
…a lifetime supply of one-size-fits-all condoms.
…from Slick Willie’s Candy Factory, an Everlasting Jobstopper Gumdrop
…to wait while a hologram of Obamanikita bows to you and says thank you in the language of your choice when you check out.
…a 50-50 chance of having a home invasion robbery by local thugs or Michelle’s food police.
…a fork lift to get you back and forth from store to sofa.
…a two for one coupon on all mixed breed dogs not prepared in the deli section.
a form to sign, giving absolute power-of-attorneyover your life to the democrat party, forever.
. . . a card that reads:
“Warning: The Surgeon General has determined that using EBT cards is dangerous to the health of your descendants.”
A thank you card for your vote from Barry and your next ballot, already filled out with a postage paid envelope.
A 15% discount on all Seafood priced $8.99/lb or higher
a car previously owned by Lindsey Lohan.
“a digital photo printed on the card, which makes your EBT card an affordable photo ID suitable for showing at your local precinct when you want to vote.”
Oh wait. That makes sense. It’s probably racist.
Must.
Purge.
Racist.
Thoughts.
From.
Brain.
AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Indigestion.
…a bonus race card.
…a note from Nancy Pelosi thanking you for helping the economy by buying stuff with government money.
… a free pass to blame the Republicans for not giving you more.
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