Straight Line of the Day: What Happened to Carpenter?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

What happened to Carpenter?

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45 Comments

  1. After storming the podium at the White House Correspondents Dinner and yelling YGDFTYLTATSOTE in a purple-faced rage, Obama, admiring his deranged pluck, chose him as Jay Carney’s immediate successor.

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  2. He just came out as the first openly gay athlete in a major US sport! Geez, where have you people been?

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  3. it seems like “only yesterday” he was “on top of the world”. i suspect that he is wanting “yesterday once more”.

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  4. {cue Hillary:} What difference does it make?

    Carved himself a ventriloquist dummy, but it was mannequin depressive.

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  5. He once was a “Superstar” now his “Rainy Days and Mondays” have “Only Just Begun”.

    HT: @23 jw

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  6. His 90 year old mother can’t afford internet service anymore since evil libertarians are taking away her social security. He vows to one day move out of her basement.

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  7. …he went to the Temple and saw all the G damned ^^^#@ing thieves, then went on a rant about how they truly were the scum of the Earth, so they had him nailed to a cross. -Although this might not be the same carpenter…

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  8. He’ll be doing a guest spot on American Idol. He’ll sing, “Dear America” and do it “Gangnam Style”.

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  9. He got crucified.

    Realized he was actually opposed to the livertarians in the republican pate.

    Took what he learned here and became a college philosophy professor, teaching his class that “I sat, therefore I am ire”.

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  10. … he’s hanging out with Burmashave, Marko, ussjimmycarter, and all of Harvey’s other alternate personalities that he’s keeping temporarily tucked away.

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  11. He is still there but exists on another plane.

    Harvey shoudn’t have paid him until he finished remodeling the kitchen, now he’ll never show up.

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