Links of the Day

I tried out the option where I get every comment e-mailed to me, and that’s way too many e-mails. I don’t know how Michele handles that. Speaking of Michele, she now has started the Slutpublicans. Check it out.
Bill Quick has some words to those against Right to Carry laws in Minnesota. Kim du Toit has something to say as well.
Mean Mr. Mustard talks about Canada, and he’s MEAN!
Andrew H. has some words about the Axis of Weasels and NATO.
On the Fritz has an article about some suspicious barrels in Iraq and the proper way to dispose of monkeys.
Finally, Steven Den Beste has a new list of links… not including me! I guess I’m too “popular” and “read” to be one of his links. Well screw him. I hate Steven Den Beste. First of all, that’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard. Second of all, I only link to his site because everybody else does and I don’t want to look weird. Thirdly… well that’s all I got.
I just really hate people who get more traffic than me. Oh, that reminds me: damn you Scrappleface!

More Mob Rule

I’ve closed the poll on whether Silent Running should be added to my blogroll. With 294 votes, the results are:
*Link the blog: 37 votes (13%)
*Don’t link the blog: 11 votes (4%)
*Link the blog only so it can be ceremoniously delinked later: 30 votes (10%)
*The blog is too good! Kill them all before they become a threat to you like Scrappleface!: 34 votes (12%)
*I want more pictures of monkeys: 182 votes (62%)
Won’t need a recount here. Guess Silent Running will have to try again next year in a segment I’m going to call “Can Anything Beat the Non Sequitur Poll Answer that Involves Monkeys”. Anyway, here is what you voted for:
Here’s me getting prepared for my daily jog:

Here’s me typing up my latest hilarious post:

Here’s me imitating Rumsfeld again. “Rarr!”:

Anyway, I keep getting all these Google hits for Jennifer Eccleston since someone just mentioned her once in my comments, and I finally saw her on Fox News. Hot damn! I think people should have a chance to be whatever you want, but you can not be that attractive and be a news reporter; there’s no way I’m going to hear a word she says. Instead I was thinking she should instead do something more fitting like pose in playboy or be a lingerie model. It ends up, though, she did used to be a lingerie model. Pics here.

If I Were President: “Boo Hoo… My Speech is Being Supressed”

I know everyone and their mother has commented on this topic, but I just couldn’t help putting my own two cents in because it pissed me off so much. I’m not as funny when I’m angry, but take what you get. So here is me as President, giving an address to the American people.
I know there have been a number of complaints about suppression of speech here in America. Those in opposition to the war think the harsh criticism they’ve received has been stifling their dissent. I have just one thing to say to this:
Shut up you whiny little bitches!
I swear to God almighty, that if I see even one of you come and complain to my face like that, I will shake you like a British nanny until He finally deems appropriate to bestow you an ounce of sense.
“Whaa! People say mean things about me. It’s like we don’t have any freedom anymore.”
I simply lack the skill with prose to express how much you idiots disgust me. There are people in other countries who risk their own lives to speak out against oppression, and you pieces of excrement are whining about how people are criticizing you for that diarrhea of the mouth you think is political speak. Well, I can think of any better expression of freedom of speech than people making life hell for you complete and utter nitwits, either by constantly declaring loudly what jackasses you people are or boycotting whatever you are involved with.
“But that’s suppressing the debate,” you whine. Hey, just like you wouldn’t want some KKK member’s opinion on the subject of race relations, we don’t need the input of assclown pacifists on the debate of foreign affairs. Your opinions are so idiotic, they erode the debate, not add to it. We are all dumber for having listened to you, and democracy is better for having you shouted down.
If some of you still don’t get the point, then, next time I hear one of you retards complain about your “speech being oppressed,” I’ll send some thugs to murder your family, burn down your house, and then drag you out in the street cut out your tongue. Then tell me (or, I guess, sign to me) whether you can’t tell the difference between that actual suppression of speech and what you thought was oppression before.
One last note: if you’re a hot chick, and you’re idea of fighting back is to pose naked, I’m perfectly fine with that. Everyone else, shut up for the sake of the country’s sanity.
Thank you and God bless.