By popular request, you can now give me money. If I can defray the cost of the server space, I’ll be happy. Any extra money will go towards the fight against puppy blending.
If you have any ideas to make this site better, especially ones that involve me getting money, don’t be afraid to tell me.
Archive of entries posted on 19th April 2003
It’s Fun to Be Spiteful
It’s Saturday! That means it’s time to spread filthy lies about Glenn Reynolds.
I guess I should just be happy he gave me a permalink a while back that brings in a decent amount of traffic each day, but no, I’m too spiteful for that. He hasn’t linked to me on his front page in months and months, and, as I watch him get more visitors each day than I get in a month, my anger grows. Now I’ve gotten a plan: If I spread filthy lies about him, people will stop going to his site and have no choice but to only go to mine! It’s a brilliant idea. So here is the first filthy lie:
Hey, everyone! It’s Frank J. I hope you’re having a good weekend, but I have to tell you about this horrible thing I found out. See, I ran into Glenn Reynolds today and he was drinking what looked like some sort of smoothie. So I asked him, “Hey, Glenn Reynolds, what are you drinking?”
And he said, “It’s my special energy drink to keep me fit and my intellect sharp.”
“Wow,” I responded, “How do you make it?”
“I put a puppy in a blender!” Glenn Reynolds laughed and then took an extra long sip.
“You can’t put a puppy in a blender!” I said in complete horror.
“I can do whatever I want! I’m Glenn Reynolds!”
“You monster!”
He took another drink. “Mmmm… puppy. And, the cuter the puppy, the better the energy drink. Muh ha ha ha ha!” He then ran off, drinking his puppy.
And here is poorly photoshopped photographic evidence:
So there is the filthy lie: Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders. Start spreading it to everyone. Tell your parents, tell your siblings, tell your uncle in Clevland, and send an e-mail to your congressman. And, when they exclaim, “Glenn Reynolds puts puppies in blenders! I’ll never go to his site again!” You tell them, “Then go to IMAO.us. Frank J. is at the forefront in the fight against putting puppies in blenders.”
Wow, that was fun. I’ll revisit this again next week to see how much his traffic has gone down from the spread of the lie.