Just in case you’re keeping score:
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
Every time you blame a fart on the dog, a devil gets his horns.
Every time a car horn honks, a vampire gets his fangs.
Every time a refinery explodes, a ghost gets his chains.
Every time Michael Moore eats, a mummy gets his bandages.
Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Every time I say “First,” Frank J. gets a bit more angry.
old:
every time you masturbate, a kitty gets killed.
Frank’s kitty, of course, is excluded.
Every time a ping-pong ball is painted, a child eats a handful of paste.
Everytime a liberal opens their mouth, another layer of sht is added to God’s list for keeping human beings around.
God thinking…oO Firking Barbara Striesand…is the EARTH really *THAT useful…Oo
TEEEEEEEJ
Every time a hippy bathes, a…uh…
Wait, no one knows what happens then – that action has never occurred.
everytime a bush gets elected, oil prices skyrocket.
Every time a blogger posts, Dan Rather dies a little more inside.
Every time you scrape your fingernails on a blackboard, Coldplay records another CD.
Everytime Cindy Sheehan speaks, another Leftist attempts to polish a turd.
Every time a “goblin” is shot, Kim Du Toit cries a tear of joy.
Every time someone says “aww, what a cute little monkey”, a vein buldges on FrankJ’s head.
Every time I run out of ideas, Carlos Sanchez* grows more powerful.
Gunlord
*He’s the imaginary voice in my head that I created out of lonliness.
Everytime some one claims we are in Iraq for the oil, gas prices jump up another 10 cents.
Every time a Democrat’s lips move, he lies.
Every time I read the Drudge Report, I flip CNN the bird.
Every time a liberal lies, the second hand on a clock ticks.
Every time Coulter writes a new book, I lose $25 dollars and two day’s worth of free time.
Every time Howard Dean passes the gravel I slipped into his grape nuts, he gives a rebel yell.
Every time somebody buys one of Frank’s t-shirts, a hippy gets the everloving feces stomped out of him.
Every time the Democrats mention a child a tax is born.
Everytime my dog actually does fart, I gotta go sit on the porch.
Everytime an IMAO podcast is produced, a space monkey gets abused for our enjoyment.
Every time Dick Durbin speaks a terrorist gets his bomb-belt.
Every time someone says “ya know” in an interview on television. A Grammar Teacher breaks her pointer!
Every time Cindy Sheehan breaks down and cries before the camera. Ten more people get P.O.ed and join the “Enough Is Enough” Counter-Protest Crowd.
Every time Howard Dean opens his mouth before a live audience. The DNC loses $100,000 in contributions.
Jack.
Every time Glenn Reynolds posts on Instapundit, the forces of Sauron grow stronger.
Everytime a suicide bomber goes off, property values in hell go down.
Every time a liberal gets power, everebody gets dumber.
Wasn’t this one of Frank’s classics from shortly after January 31? “Every time an Iraqi votes, a terrorist in Hell gets jabbed in the ass with a pitchfork.”
Every time someone comments to an old post, another terrorist howls about “the JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!”.
Every time a monkey takes a dump, Ted Rall releases a new cartoon.
Every time Ted Kennedy gets in his Delta 88, a female staffer grabs her scuba gear.
Everytime you vote for a Democrat, Cthulhu grows a new tentacle.