hiya folks. Frank wants me to post my 24 notes and quotes here from now on, to save y’all from having just a one-liner “wasn’t 24 bad-pinkytoe last night” post. so here it is. also, if you want to see my previous recaps from this season, follow these links:
8 a.m.
9 a.m., 10 a.m., 11 a.m.
spoilers below the fold…

* yay! graphic violence! i hope it’s against Walt Cummings! and President Logan, just because he’s such a pansy and a bad husband.

• is Audrey like co-running CTU with Bill Buchanan? she sure does give her opinion a lot.

• i wonder if the president will be mad that Walt felt up his wife. somehow i doubt it, because i think Mrs. Logan is just for show, if you know what i mean. and i’ll bet you do.

• Audrey, i’m sorry if you think you’re supposed to talk on this show. ever. Jack’s kinda busy with his whole save-the-world thing, so if you could put your feelings on the back burner, that’d be great.

• i am still really happy that Derek got a kleenex.

• hey! there’s Badger again! he’s not as smarmy as on Firefly though. more evil, but not as smarmy.

• sweeeeeet. i love how Mike gets the message from Jack. except Walt is suspicious. dagnabit. did you notice how when Jack told Mike, “I’m so sorry about David Palmer,” they played the loud boom in the music that signifies that Mike’s about to look at the camera and say, “What about David Palmer? What’s he talking about? Why is he sorry, and why am i the last to know????” yeah, a little dramatic with the score there, Mr. Callery (whose scoring abilities i just adore, FTR. i’m just sayin… ).

• say, Derek, if your voice is any higher, i’m gonna be absolutely convinced you’re Kim.

• Jack, you are the biggest idiot on the planet. no, you’re not going back to Diane so you can take another shot with Whiny? Whiny who always starts every conversation with “Jack… I…” someone needs to smack you hard on the back of the head. stupid.

• ok, so the pacing Russian guy who really likes talking with the earpiece phone… when he says that there’s only one thing Walt can do, i’m soooo hoping that doesn’t mean Walt kills himself, because i rilly rilly rilly want to see Jack kick his pinkytoe in grand fashion. and i wouldn’t mind a little spit in the face by Mrs. Logan.

• is Aaron implying that Mrs. Logan is a horse? that is very not nice. come on, Aaron, you know you want to help Mrs. Logan. she’s a nice lady who’s not that crazy.

• dude, Schafer! you can never trust Badger! he always stiffs people! you should have gotten your payment up front.

• ok, so Jack’s out on a super-important mission, and Audrey calls him to talk about their feelings? can she not just give it a rest for 24 hours? 24 hours would be superb. Audrey, it’s more complicated than me loving you… such as you being homely (granted, less so this season) and whiny.

• ok, the confession by Walt is unexpected. how much ya wanna bet that the President gets talked into his idiotic scheme? holy wow! he just grabbed the President, and Logan didn’t even yell for the secret service. and um, wow, Walt just admitted to assassinating Palmer. i totally thought Walt was gonna kill the President just then. nope, President just turned coat and betrayed the country. i hope Jack Bauer kicks him in the nuts. ok, so the evil Republican just wants to prove WMD are in the Middle East so we can increase our military presence there and protect our sweet sweet oil. at least Walt has his priorities straight. 😉 btw, Walt should read that book that just came out about WMD.

• what? they’re gonna arrest Jack? that’s the craziest thing i’ve ever heard! this has to be the first time ever that Jack’s been arrested. i guess this is a short season, because there’s no way Jack’s getting out of this. man, and i was really into this season.

• i think Aaron’s gonna make some tough decisions… ooooooh, he’s getting angry and determined. i love it! “What is Jack Bauer doing here, why is he under arrest, and why wasn’t I told?”

• yay hobbit! yay Rudy! disobey the order!

• Jean Smart is so outstanding in this role. someone give her an emmy.

• hahaha! “actually it’s not that hard to believe” that Walt Cummings ordered Palmer’s assassination. yay Aaron!

• BAUER POWER!! wow, i don’t know which is my favorite scene now. Chloe unloads an M4 into a terrorist, or Jack Bauer starts to take out Walt’s eye as Aaron just stands there watching. i looooooove seeing Walt get punched in the sternum over and over and over. sweet. it’s nice to be able to take out my own aggression vicariously through Jack. do you think Logan realizes how absolutely idiotic it was to admit that he knew about Walt ordering David Palmer’s assassination? You think Jack’s gonna kick the President’s pinkytoe in hour 24? that would be totally rad.

• too little too late, Mr. President. you’re still the worst husband ever. i hope she dumps your sorry butt right now. walk away Mrs. Logan, tell him you’d like your bags transferred to Jack Bauer’s house because you love him now.

• why do they keep showing Chloe disgruntled and staring at a computer and she hasn’t had a line the whole episode? were all her scenes cut? bad producers cutting Chloe scenes! she better not have shot someone in the cut scenes!

• so Cummings and that Russian guy who paces back and forth with the earpiece… are they both in on the Schafer thing?

• look how smug the first lady looks now. Logan’s not getting sex for a long long time. at least not from a woman.

• ok, that was a great Jack Attack.

• next week’s episode… who do you think is in the upstairs penthouse? my first thought is Neckid Mandy, because it can’t be Nina, because Nina’s dead. but would Neckid Mandy hide behind a bed like that? seems like she would escape or be holding a gun and all the cards. maybe it’s Kim.

• Quotes (note, some quotes are embellished in italics for my own enjoyment)

DIANE: Ms. Raines? Really? Her?
AUDREY: Yes. Whore with a snot-nosed kid!
DIANE: We’ve been released. Which means I’m free to punch you in the face.
AUDREY: Oh, good. I hope they tortured you first. And I hope to never see you again.
DIANE: Can I ask you something? Like why do you never smile unless you’re trying to not cry?
AUDREY: Of course. But make it quick. I’ve got a man to steal!
DEREK: Dude. This would be a totally awesome catfight if my mom weren’t involved. Can we get Chloe in here instead?
DIANE: Do you still have feelings for Jack?
AUDREY: I’m sorry but that’s personal.
DIANE: Feelings sometimes are personal. But I asked you a question, whore. I know, but he’s been living with my son and me for the last six months. [mark it down! proper grammar on TV!] We started to become a family. And I care about him. Do you know he still loves you? … If you don’t love him, let him go.
AUDREY: WHAT?? HE STILL LOVES ME?? OHHHHHHHH, YEEEEEEAAAAHHHH. [dancing about foolishly with pointer fingers pointed outward like Yosemite Sam’s six-shooters] I knew it, uh-hu-uh, he loves me, awww ye-eah. Work it Audrey, work it girl!! [now doing imaginary lasso above head]. FACE!!

LYNN: Novick’s people say he’s unreachable, and Jack’s cell is going straight to voicemail.
BILL: Something’s wrong. Such as, I used to be running this place, and now I’m not.
LYNN: I know. But I don’t know what we can do about it. But at least I know what a Flank Two position is. Nyah-nyah.
BILL: I do. Give me my job back.
LYNN: What?
BILL: We can disregard the order.
LYNN: Disregarding a presidential order. Slick shoes, are you crazy?
BILL: If we don’t, we will not find this nerve gas. And you want to find One-Eyed Willie, don’t you, Mikey?
LYNN: Sending Jack Bauer to have a conversation with Mike Novick as a private citizen is one thing. But I am not about to start considering disobeying a direct order from the White House. Unless you do the Truffle Shuffle, Bill. Do it!
BILL: That’s because you don’t have the experience to know any better. Y si no hacen buen trabajo, sera encerada aqui con las cucarachas por dos semanas. Sin agua y sin comida!

JACK: Walt Cummings ordered the assassination of David Palmer. I know it’s hard to believe, but I can prove it, it’s true.
AARON: Actually, it’s not that hard to believe.

LOGAN: I’m the President of the United States! Get your hands off this man! Agent Pierce, do something! [Meanwhile, Jack is beating the crap out of Walt.]
AARON: I am, Mr. President, I’m upholding my duty to protect you. [Logan reaches for phone.] That won’t have any effect, sir. I’ve overridden the distress line.
SARAHK: Heeeee!!

JACK [holding a knife to Walt’s face, as Aaron and Logan look on, frightened]: I am done talking with you, you understand me? Now you’ve read my file. First thing I’m gonna do, I’m gonna take out your right eye. Then I’m gonna move over and I’m gonna take out your left. And then I’m gonna cut you. I’m gonna keep cutting you until I get the information that I need. Do you understand me? So for the last time, do you want that soda where is the nerve gas?