Glenn Reynolds Hijacks Pluto Spacecraft!

(A Filthy Lie)
Did you see Instapundit’s post on the New Horizons probe that was launched toward Pluto? He seemed quite indifferent about the whole thing, which is – for a dweeby techno-geek like him – VERY suspicious.
Thanks to some NSA eavesdropping transcripts, I found out why Glenn was trying to avoid drawing attention to the launch beforehand. He had a sinister plot for using the New Horizons ship for his own nefarious purposes. Specifically, he’s going to use it to murder hobos to curry favor with Satan in order to maintain his position as the most powerful blogger in the world (as foretold by The Prophet Frank J.).
Yeah, I know how unbelievable it sounds, but I have proof. Glenn sketched out his plan on the back of a napkin during a recent trip to the Memphis Zoo. I stole it while he was busy staring at the penguins & mumbling something about “pretty, pretty feathers”.
Evidence in the extended entry with Glenn’s notes in italics…

Continue reading ‘Glenn Reynolds Hijacks Pluto Spacecraft!’ »

The New “Real Ultimate Power”

Important to know Chuck Norris facts such as “Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.” and “Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.”
Probably a good idea to set down all beverages and empty your bladder before reading. Actually, I don’t know if it’s all good, because I can’t even complete reading it now because it’s too funny.
(hat tip to Jonah Goldberg of The Corner)

A Frank Fisking: John Kerry’s Appeal for Support for His Filibuster

It’s looking like this whole filibuster that John Kerry is proposing is doomed to fail… and he knows it. Right now, he’s excited the KosKids and DUmmies so much they’re ready to have his children, but this temporary burst of support for Kerry comes at the price of making the Democrat leadership look (more) impotent when the cloture vote happens on Monday.
What a team player.
So, what do I get out of it? A letter from John Kerry to fisk!

Dear Frank,

That’s me!

Yesterday, Senator Ted Kennedy and I told our colleagues that we supported a filibuster of Judge Alito’s nomination for the Supreme Court.

It’s cute when Kennedy makes primitive attempts at speech.

And we weren’t alone. But the bottom line is that it takes more than two or three people to filibuster successfully.

Even if one of them has the mass of eight?

It’s not “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

It’s not even Dude, Where’s My Car?

Continue reading ‘A Frank Fisking: John Kerry’s Appeal for Support for His Filibuster’ »

Friday Catblogging

Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d spread the joy of humor-free, apolitical Friday Catblogging to IMAO (aka “I-MEOW”).
Today, it’s Nardo the Odd…


If you’re not sure how this absurd scene pertains to IMAO, since IMAO is famous for that “political humor” thing, it doesn’t. If you must have some semblance of politics or humor in everything you read here, just assume that Nardo is… um…
Help me out here. Make your suggestions in the comments how this scene is, in fact, a political allegory.
(For more animal goodness, try Friday Ark today and Carnival of the Cats will be this upcoming Sunday, so send your catblogging links to submissions @ carnivalofthecats.com.)