I’m not much for tech blogging, but I ran into just a really odd error the other day trying to install SQL Server 2005. For the program to finish installation, it has to run at least once, but it always errored on starting. Hearing hooves and thinking horses, I assumed it was a Vista incompatibility. I later tried again on the same computer with XP on it, and it still didn’t start. With enough Googling, I finally found the problem: My computer has three processors and SQL Server 2005 won’t work on a computer when the number of processors isn’t a power of two.
What the hell? How do you even ship software with a bug like that? Did they assume no one would make a computer with three processors or did they not know of the error because they tested on a computer with one processor and then on a computer with two processors and said, “Well, it must work for all processors! Ship it!” This is why the economy is failing; it’s loss of productivity on crap like that. I wasted a lot of time trying to install that program as it’s a pretty hard error to figure out because it’s not like when a program doesn’t run your first thought is, “Hmm, my computer has a number of processors that isn’t a power of two. I wonder if that could be a problem?”
Anyway, the workaround on the support page didn’t help. Service Pack 2 fixes the problem, but you have to install SQL Server 2005 before you can add SP2, but the program has to run once to install, and it won’t run on a computer with three processors without SP2. Fun times.
As long as we rely on Microsoft software, we’re going to be stuck in the dark ages. It insures that any advancements we make will be offset by having to handle even more bugs in the software. A thousand years from now, we won’t be anywhere further technologically thanks to the few hundred more editions of Windows that will have been forced upon on us to shackle us. And there’s nothing we can do about it.
Well, we could switch to another operating system, but Macs are for homosexuals and Linux is for communists, so scratch that.
Frank, I’ve got a very classic and succinct explanation for you:
http://www.ubersoft.net/comic/hd/2003/04/personifying-microchip
You’d like the webcomic. Here’s the transcript:
ALEX: Mark, computers do not mock.
MARK: They certainly do.
ALEX: Mark, computers do not mock. They’re inanimate objects, for crying out loud…
MARK: They are sentient and malevolent, and they plot against me.
ALEX: Mark, they do not –
MARK: Alex, think. Every year, computers get faster and faster… but software keeps running at about the same speed. Where does all that extra power go?
(Silence.)
MARK: It goes to EVIL, Alex. It goes to EVIL.
(I know I commented thus in a previous post, but it was so old that probably no one saw it.)
Love ya, Frank, but I run Linux, I love Linux, and Linux is all about free-market economics. Pork-laden Windows in the OS of choice for entrenched Beltway bureaucrats. So there!
I wouldn’t say that Linux users are communists. I’d say they are nerds that need to get out of their mother’s basement.
I depend on the absolute rubbishness of MS programs, and the fear they invoke in the cattle we call users, for my livelihood. So yay for MS. Even though I hate them. Though, since I’m not a commie or a fag, I use them anyway.
You can actually trick Windows into thinking you have only two processors long enough to install the software:
Cannot Install SQL Server When Number of Processors is Not a Power of Two
As a very manly man’s non-homosexual man who runs a MAC, might I suggest that you remove the cover of your box, snap out one of your processors and then install SQL Server? BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Or, you could call Microsoft Tech Support! BWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
“Well, we could switch to another operating system, but Macs are for homosexuals and Linux is for communists, so scratch that.”
Well you seem to be taking it up the ass with Microsoft pushing, so who’s the homosexual here? As for Linux the NYSE runs their operation completely on Red Hat Linux. I didn’t know that was a communist institution. 😀
No, ussjc, that would be considered “an incident.” Even if it lasts 10 seconds, they used to charge $195 for it. That was their minimum “incident fee.” It’s probably more nowadays.
Microsoft charges you money for questions regarding their own bugs. Ok, but to call them “incidents” – no THAT’s really insulting.
You could be a customer with a lot of “incidents,” Frank! (I’m chuckling here)… Frank J. causes “incidents.” Hahahahahaha.
You sound preemptively defensive about your orientation or preference of a mac, USSJC.
No one has even commented about how gay they and their users are yet.
If using a mac makes you feel manly, like driving a minivan, then you don’t have to be ashamed.
I had a similar issue. The program I was trying to run only works when your monitor is facing southwest on Tuesdays.
Of course, since you ARE a Windows user, Frank might I suggest something a bit less “robust” for your database requirements? First there’s always Microsoft Excel which has really pretty columns and such. If you truly need a database (relational?) there is MS Access and your zippy 3 processor pc will probably handle this program if you close everything else on your machine down! Now, this is getting real fancy and may tax Windows to the limit but there is another Database program out there that your software might handle. It’s called FoxPro! Let the local power company know that you are about to install it, however because you will dim the lights in town when your processors go to work….
> Macs are for homosexuals
Used MS-DOS 2.11 back in 1984 when you were, what, four? Five? [Four before June, five after. -Ed.] Used DOS 3.2, DOS 3.3, DOS 4 (for a week, then downgraded to 3.3), DOS 5 (a very good OS), DOS 6, DOS 6.21. I used Windows 2.03, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME (a mistake), Windows XP… Still have all the disks, in fact. 5-1/4 floppies, 3-1/2 floppies, CDs… all of them.
I gots my Microsoft cred!
And I now use a Mac!
And I feel fabulous!!!
In these days of rampant queerness one must at all times remain ready to defend one’s manliness when a challenge is laid down with any hint of insulation that one is possibly of “rump ranger” status.
Three is a power of two, it’s just not an integral power of two. It’s 2 ^ (lg3).
So you can simply edit the registry category
HKLM -> HARDWARE -> DESCRIPTION -> Central Processor
which should have an entry for 0, 1, and 2. Add an entry for 2^(lg3).
That information may not survive a reboot, depending on your setup, but it can’t possibly hurt your system. If it does, just reinstall the OS. As a Windows user, you’re probably used to that.
OK Basil, show us your Microsoft Bob 3.5″ floppies and we’ll be really impressed.
And Linux is OK ‘cuz, besides commies, it is also popular with the gun-wielding-anarcho-militia-survivalist types. That’s a big selling point in my book.
Um. You might want to revise and extend yer remarks Frank. http://www.imao.us is hosted on Linux. You migt want to download aninstall disc and give it a try. Escaping the Gates of Hell is a great feeling.
But you will still face stupid bugs, the only difference is you have a chance of actually fixing them.
Remove a processor, install SQLServer, reinstall processor, install SP1…
Come on Frank! Do you need a picture?
I run Linux and I am not a communist. If you really wanted to be a good capitalist and pay for Linux, you could buy an enterprise version like Red Hat. BTW, setting up a LAMP server with Ubuntu is extremely easy, even a monkey could do it.
Um…I’m no engineer, but one is a power of two.
> show us your Microsoft Bob 3.5″ floppies and we’ll be really impressed.
Even I never fell for Microsoft Bob.
Didn’t Melinda French run that? And didn’t Gates pull the plug after French married him?
Socrates, anyone capable of understanding the windows registry is a homo for sure…definitely a homo…definitely!!!
What kind of computer even has 3 processors?
Spyndrilleum – you know what they say “if the mini-van is a rocking …. aw, who do i think i am kidding?”
Is it actually 3 *processors*, or 3 cores? I’ve never heard of a 3-slot motherboard, but I know AMD makes Phenoms, which are quad-cores that failed quality control…
Basil has me beat. I never used DOS 2.11, but started with 3 and up. But I did solder up my first CPM system in 1978 and taught myself Assembler! Does this make me ultra-queer??
(nasty comments in 3… 2… 1…)
Well dammers! Ya’ll talkin all this high falutin puter talk is makin my head hurt. When we gonna talk about hippes, and guns, and evul monkeys? Like do I need a diffrnt gun to shoot a hippie from the one I use to shoot a monkey? And whats a good recipe for hippie…. I mean monkey stew? The weekend is almost here.. Im not tryin to be thinkin bout no puter stuff and the “power of one”. What is that like Neo in dat der matriks movie?
Icr(11) push stack(12) push int push
Is it me or did this blog suddenly switch to discussing sports and computers instead of politics?
Dude, if you can get away with not using SQL Server, use mysql or postgres.
They’re free, both as in speech and beer, will run on a toaster if it has a chip, and will run circles around SQL Server.
If we all went back to using pencil and paper we wouldn’t be in this mess. Unless Microsoft made the pencils.
If Redmond made the pencils, then they’d only work on paper that they had tested and approved.
Ok, if none of losers are going to bite…Jimmy the only reason you enjoyed Assembler is because it starts with Ass and because you are a Super Homo…well…you get the picture!
I KNEW you’d go there! That does it. I’m going nancing this afternoon!
In these days of rampant queerness one must at all times remain ready to defend one’s manliness when a challenge is laid down with any hint of insulation that one is possibly of “rump ranger” status.” -ussjimmycarter
I must learn how to do that. Should I switch to a Mac first? I know OSX is very superior to Windoze.
You buy a computer with a CPU built by German socialists (admittedly working for an American company), and suddenly you have all sorts of problems? Frank, what did you expect? If you’re going to support big American corporations, you have do it all the way.
DC wrote: Is it me or did this blog suddenly switch to discussing sports and computers instead of politics?
Yes. By popular demand. Enjoy!
I use Windows and RHEL; I prefer Windows (XP mainly, but I have a Vista virtual machine). RHEL is all right, and I occasionally enjoy doing things on the command line just for the fun of it, but everything is about The Community. Always with The Community. That’s oppressive because I don’t like people.
I used Macs for work a few years ago, with OS8 and OS9. I despise Macs. I refuse to reward any company which created the abomination that was OS8/9 with my business, in any capacity, ever. Mac is/was like PlaySkool computers; shiny colors and insanely basic programs to the point of being unusable for grown-up life. The only useful thing I could do on my work computers was run MS Office; everything that came with the Mac was teh ghey. Even the hardware which is supposed to be so awesome and innovative. Seriously, people – a one button mouse? What’s the about? Do Mac users not have fingers?
Ella:
I understand about the older OS for Mac. But OS X 10.4 (Tiger) rocked. And so does 10.5 (Leopard). And the one-button mouse? That’s history. My two-button mouse actually has no buttons. But it works great. Right-click and everything.
We had a mac for a number of years when I was growing up. I thought it was awesome because our computer before that stored games on casette tape and the monitor was an old black and white tv. Once they came out with Windows with a GUI instead of that command line DOS crap, I got over my feelings for Macs pretty quick.
If I were smart I’d go with Unix all the way, but I can’t break my Windows habit. It’s just so darn convenient cause everything runs on Windows. And liking Unix/Linux doesn’t make me a commie, it makes me an anarchist.
WOLVERINES!
Pingback: dustbury.com » Lose a CPU or two
Go ahead and call mac/linux users homocommies… you and the Microsoft rep can joke about how queer Steve Jobs while he/she tells you to reboot your computer and make sure that its plugged in.
Speaking of Microsoft Bob…technically every copy of Window XP comes with a (non-runnable) copy of Bob: http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/magazine/cc565089.aspx
All large IT shops that need reliability, scalability and performance on mission critical systems run on mid-range boxes like RS/6000 or Sun. These operate on the RISC platform which happens to be the same thing that the MAC operates on. There is a reason that they do not run Windows servers in these environments where they simply need huge amounts of Horsepower and the ability to do things like VM’s (Virtual Machines) and since they are often running mission critical systems like check processing for banks or transactional systems integrated with mainframe legacy applications relying on Microsoft would be insanity! Broken desktops is one thing…breaking these systems is another…
I blame the UAW.
And, as my mechanic said as he re-set the advance of the dual-point Autolite distributor on my 63 Studebaker, “I question the timing.”
Hey DaddyBear, I’m no fan of Microsoft, and am a huge fan of *nix o/s’s … but I’m sorry. I’ve benchmarked SQLServer, Postgres and MySql. MySql is fastest, but …. there’s that nagging total corruption thing… ever wonder how they made it so fast? Postgres is probably the most standards compliant, but quite frankly SQLServer beat the crap out of it in performance tests. I’m talking SQL05/08 in 64-bit windows. Maybe you mean on another platform, but if you’re standardized on Wintel hardware, then the choice of a DB is pretty simple. Unless of course you’re not willing to pay for anything.
Also, since our shop does mostly C#/.NET development, it integrates with the dev environment really well.
I may have Basil beat. Ran DOS on an IBM PC with a four digit serial number in 1982. (I don’t really remember the serial number. That’s a joke for Fender guitar fans.) Had one of the early Macs as well when they were the platform of choice for Mathematica. Went back to Windows when MatLab threatened to end support for the Mac. I’m getting ready to go back to Mac for my day job and basic home use. My son has Vista and … Still gonna stay with windows for recording software.
By the way, 3 is a power of 2. The power is ln 3 / ln 2.
I find it ironic, hysterical and odd that I’m constantly being told that because I do A or own B or like C I’m
a. a homosexual
b. a psychotic right wing killing machine
c. racist
d. a member of a cult
I’m sure that my 6 children and husband of 31 years will be surprised when I tell him that because I prefer a computer that I don’t have to wait 10 minuted for it to “load my personal settings”, that doesn’t make me want to throw it through the window every time there’s a system update, or have a manual larger than the tax code, I’m gay and a communist.
What would I do without you Frank. And to think I come here to get dissed……..I could go to the Daily Kos but the flying spittle gets on my glasses and I really hate that.
Man those Mac users are a pissy bunch today.
Yeah well, you know how homosexual communist (especially if they’re women) are. Besides we Mac users are just waiting around until the PC bunch finally gets the joke.
Not at all Elliot; some of us look forward to the “One-button mouse” comments to see who the newbies are. And familiarity with the use of the mouse by the Star OS.
Cheers
Frank,
You may be able to set your BIOS to use only one or two processors. Then once you run your software and install the service pack, set your BIOS back to using all three processors. I know you can do this with a Core Duo processor, so you can probably do so with your triple core.
Undercover Hippie, even if you’re not willing to pay for anything, SQL Server Express Edition is free.
Since all the computer savy folks have come out I’ll ask a question:
I currently have Norton Internet Security 2008 loaded on my home computer (Used Dell, running Windows XP).
I have 20 days left on for my current contract with them.
Should I run the Security package offered by my internet provider (PeoplePC) for free, sign up for another year with Norton, or seek another security provider.
Any suggestions? Smart remarks? Rude comments?
> Dave says:
> December 14th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
> SQL Server Express Edition is free.
But, it isn’t licensed for a production server. It’s for development, and won’t (at least legally) run a production database.
> 4 of 7 says:
> December 14th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
> Should I run the Security package offered by my internet provider (PeoplePC) for free, sign up for another year with Norton, or seek another security provider.
Personal experience is all I can speak of. I have had good performance from Norton, McAfee, Windows Live OneCare, and AVG.
I don’t like the way McAfee works; it acts like malware. That is, you can’t get rid of it if you want to. While it works, I don’t like it.
Norton has performed well. The only issue I’ve run into is the LiveUpdate can be a PITA. It will slow a machine down.
Windows Live OneCare has worked well, too.
AVG has been an excellent standby; when someone buggers up their computer by letting protection expire, I usually use it to detect and clean, then leave it up to them what protection to use, offering the same advice I’m offering here.
> Smart remarks? Rude comments?
Sure. Get a Mac. I did.
Oh, and I use Intego VirusVarrier X5 antivirus protection on the Mac. When the Mac viruses finally hit, I’m ready. I hope.
Well,
Cant you really bunch mac users with the *nix? It was based off of BSD…
I am Systems Engineer and I feel your pain with MS SQL. You can use My_Sql on windows server and it is more stable. Linux is ultimately your best bet when it comes to Databases / speed / and ease of use.
Just because you don’t understand it, does not mean its communistic. It means you lack the understanding.. :p
OH,
Or you could actually use Intel Base Hardware. No IT shop in their right mind uses AMD base servers for SQL ( Intel does not have a 3 core processor).
Hit me up if you need some help, or consulting of sort for site development or hosting.
Just for the record, it is only my exhaustion at being the constant subject of nasty PC comments that makes me snippy. I personally don’t care what computer someone uses. It’s being called names that makes me cranky. Each system has it’s flaws and it’s good points, somewhat like anything else one prefers over something else.
But then in a perfect world everyone one would have to have the same kind of computer system…….wait as of January we going to have just that (a perfect world). Maybe Mr. Obamalamadingdong will make PC’s the nations computers and have all Mac’s confiscated and users re-educated.
There you go, problem solved. Don’t you just love having a king.
>seanmahair says:
>December 15th, 2008 at 9:36 am
>Maybe Mr. Obamalamadingdong will make PC’s the nations computers and have all Mac’s confiscated and users re-educated.
I will give up my Mac when they take it from my cold, dead hands.
Channeling Charleton…….I love it.
Basil you are “that guy”.
GeeSuss another Microsoft hater. They’re not that bad. Alot of open source is more fun though!
Microsoft did us all a favor. Remember the day of the Commode-door 65, The CP&M machines and countless others ? But one might make the argument their best days are over yes….but to rant like the typical liberal Microsoft hater. I get tired of it.
And finally Mr McTurdy: Every hear of MySQL ? duh!
Most of us Mac users don’t “hate” Micro soft. We don’t like the system, programs or problems associated with them but “I even have friends that are PC users”.
We just agree to disagree and I let them use my computer every time a new operating system comes out. I’m generous like that.
Why not just use Sql Server 2008 Express?
I learned programming on a Vic-20, and later on an Apple IIe. I have had only negative experiences with Macs; mostly running slower than a 386 with Vista installed. Windows is often frustrating, but I can fix it, and it runs everything I need and want. And I can build my own PC with whatever parts I choose. I don’t really like the idea of incompatible, proprietary systems, be they HP, Gateway, IBM, or Apple. Although most desktop types are more upgradable/customizable than previous generations were.
Anybody remember the fast, trimmed down, underground, adjustment to windows called 98Lite?
A thought on Macs: Rush is a Mac user and Apple fan. . .just sayin’.
But I guess nobody’s perfect.
> BoB says:
> December 16th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
> Why not just use Sql Server 2008 Express?
> Basil says:
> December 14th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
> But, it isn’t licensed for a production server. It’s for development, and won’t (at least legally) run a production database.
> Freemon Sandlewould says:
> December 15th, 2008 at 11:35 am
> GeeSuss another Microsoft hater.
I agree that Microsoft has done lots of good for the computer industry.
Of course, Mussolini made the trains run on time, too.
4 of 7: My experience tells me that norton is ok, but is usually low rated. McAffey is not worth getting as well as being a pain. Chances are what your ISP offers is some mod of one of the big ones. I use Zonealarm + AVG + Spybot, all for free, and am only a little irritated at AVG for their habit of dumping me out of whatever I am doing to let me know that i am virus free.
Basil
Thank you; ) That was grand, boyo, simply grand.
He has three processors because it is a bad quad core that has a processor disabled to lesson waste. You might be able to disable mp support in bios and knock it down to one core but that depends on your motherboard.
link
I run linux at home because I have to deal with the shittyness of windows at work. I am not a commie!
#54 – Basil, #66 – Thomas,
Thank you for your input. You are scholars and gentlemen.
I found out that the security package offered by my ISP is a Symantec product like Norton, so I went with that.
(I should kick myself – it was already offered as part of my basic package, but I paid for Norton instead for almost 2 years).
And this way Norton won’t send their Cyber-Ninja’s after me for leaving them for one of their rivals.
nice story… you can get fast solutions to that error; but still, MS is like a retarded dictator governing us.
on the other hand, i cant help noticing that lots of your commenters are just stupid, or they lack the sense of humor. have you considered banning them?
:}:}:} take it easy; nice blog.