Is Obama EVER going to get around to picking out a dog? He’s been dithering about this since last JULY! I thought he was a man of action?
What’s taking so long?
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* Technically, the job of White House bitch is already taken.
* Still finalizing the contract for new reality series: “Odogma: Picking the Presidential Pooch”.
* Threatening to not get a dog is the only leverage he has to make Sasha & Malia clean their rooms. Not giving THAT up anytime soon.
* Can’t afford it until he gets that $13 tax cut.
* Doesn’t want his picture taken with something that can do “sad wittle puppy eyes” better than he can.
* Splash is gonna need a new home soon. Obama is prepared to wait.
* Just being abundantly cautious this time. Remember that urban legend about The Mexican Pet? Yeah, that was Obama.
* As a result of promises made to certain “interest groups” during the campaign, he can only adopt an openly gay labradoodle, a breed famous for its extreme reluctance to come out of the closet.
* And no, putting a collar on Barney Frank doesn’t count as “close enough”. Obama already asked.
* Decided he’s not ready for a dog, since he can’t even keep Biden from piddling on the carpet.
* Sadly, every dog he’s looked at turned out to have had issues with “federal revenue remittance punctuality”.
Any other reasons for the delay that YOU’VE heard about?
“Dog” sounds too much like “god”
Odogma eh? Obama getting a dog and propaganda?
Rush just said that there’s no difference between government and the mafia. Now that’s just unfair and uncalled for. Sure the mafia is bad but not so bad as to be put in the same category as the government.
“* Decided he’s not ready for a dog, since he can’t even keep Biden from piddling on the carpet.”
That did it. I lost it.
I thought Chris Matthews would be all over this. I mean, why wouldn’t The One pick Matthews?? Sure, he has that leg tingling thing, but that makes him all the more desirable! An other enabled White House dog?? It’s like the headline wrote itself!
“Matthews piddles on Oval Office carpet”
First Dog Chris Matthews is over coming adversity and striking a blow for equality as the first Other Enabled/Differently Extraordinary canine to serve a U.S. President. Well known for his “thrill going up my leg” syndrome, Matthews showed why he is uniquely entitled to Social Security Disability monies by losing his bladder in the middle of the Oval Office.
“It’s difficult to punish someone for being themselves,” remarked a somber President Obama. The First One then went on to detail that the First Dog would put into time out for at least 5 minutes and not to exceed 7.5 minutes in the near future.
“I love Chris like my own half brother, but I have to be firm on this. I will not tolerate more than 300 cc of dog urine on my carpet, and the First Dog let loose with 350 cc’s. I have my standards!” quoted America’s first Kenyan President.
I want a blue-scrotum monkey, but Axelrod won’t let me.
He already knows it’s just that no one has put it on the teleprompter yet…
And no, putting a collar on Barney Frank doesn’t count as “close enough”. Obama already asked.
I think this needs to be revisited because Barney Frank comes with his own collar, he has many, some with spiked barbs, glitter,etc.; and as a bonus they all come with matching leashes to boot. In these tough, catastrophic economic times I think the American people would appreciate Barry adopting a dog which comes with its own collars and leashes. I mean lets face it, pets are expensive; food, toys, vet trips, collars, leashes, etc. I’m sure Barney has had his shots as well after that business his room-mate ran out of their basement many moons ago. This is a win-win. The only thing is they will ultimately have to change his name. Its too close to the Bush’s Barney, the famous Reporter Eater, my hero. If we move forward with this I think we need to have some names submitted and then take a poll to see which one is the favorite.
Cazart!
TS
WELL, OBVIOUSLY HE READ MY POST FROM THE OTHER DAY AND REALIZED WHAT HE WANTS IS A CHIMPANZEE, SO HE’S GIVEN UP ON THE DOG IDEA! THE CHIMP CAN HOLD HIS CUE CARDS DURING PRESS CONFERENCES AND THE DINOSAUR MEDIA WILL BE SO ENCHANTED BY THE CHIMP THEY WILL NOT REALIZE OBAMA CONTINUES TO SPOUT PABLUM. ALTHOUGH, I MUST CONFESS, THE IDEA OF KEEPING BARNEY FRANK IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS A DARN GOOD ONE. AS LONG AS THEY DON’T LET HIM OUT TO GO VOTE IN THE HOUSE.
This is an important decision and should not be made hastily. Not like a pork filled to make sure that one is getting the most racism, I mean propaganda, I mean uh er, uh er dog, for the buck.
Dang. Lets try this again,
This is an important decision and should not be made hastily. Not like a pork filled swindleus bill that can be made in days, the decision to get a dog can takes months. That one needs to make sure that one is getting the most racism, I mean propaganda, I mean uh er, uh er dog, for the buck.
Y’know, folks, I was sittin’ an’ chillin’ in the Not-So-White-Anymore-House movie theatre with Michelle an’ tha kidz peepin on The Wizard of Oz when a absolutely BRILLIANT idea came to me (like I can come up with ANYTHING LESS than BRILLIANT):
I oughtta replace the way-too-white Secret Service detail with flyin’ monkeys!
But this time round they’d be of tha face-eatin’ kinda monkeys—but with wings!
Like if Hannity wants to try to distract Me with his watery beer, I’ll sic a face-eatin’ flyin’ secret service monkey on him.
Limbaugh wants to oppose me?
BAM! Down come the flyin monkeys on his face to show him wrong!
(Ya can’t be tha leader of the Right without a face, now can ya?)
Bonus is that they can serve as pets too.
See how BRILLIANT I am!
Thorn…C’mon! We can’t have the first dog humping the snot out of every male visitor to the White House!!! This just won’t do! And, most dogs not properly trained in their early days will normally hump a leg, or a toy or a piece of furniture…we simply cannot have the First Dog taking down every male that signs into the white hose and “dry humping” said visitor from “on top”…
Ted Kennedy’s dog is named Splash? Jokes within jokes!
I thought Obeyme already had the First Pets picked?–All those MSM Lap Dogs?
He does need to be a responsible pet owner, however, and have them neutered.
Thorn…C’mon! We can’t have the first dog humping the snot out of every male visitor to the White House!!! This just won’t do! And, most dogs not properly trained in their early days will normally hump a leg, or a toy or a piece of furniture…we simply cannot have the First Dog taking down every male that signs into the white hose and “dry humping” said visitor from “on top”…
Jimmy, where is your empathy brother? Barney can’t help the fact that when a leg, toy, pillow, or otherwise is exposed he is whipped into a violent sexual frenzy; he was born that way and has no real control over himself. Recent science journals back me up on this too. In fact its almost like an involuntary muscle really, he just springs into climactic action like a Chucky Shuma’ b-lining to a news camera. I think one way to spin Barney’s tendencies could be to make him, not only official White House Pooch, but the national spokesperson of his terrible and brutal affliction. Maybe someday there can be some discovery in psychotropic drugs that can alleviate his turrets like behavior. Lets face it though, anyone who adopts Barney as their pet knows the last thing he is going to do is curl up at your feet, he’s just not that type of animal. No this is a patent case of ‘Caveat Emptor’, or ‘Buyer Beware.’ The Obama’s have a lot to consider here.
Billy Beer on Me Jimme,
TS
They cannot have a dog Michelle already has a chimpanzee that wears a suit
And elected officials wonder why normal people are put off by politics as usual.
BTW Harvey, which interest groups were they???
He’s still trying to find a dog that is several hundred thousand dollars in debt by way of its own irresponsibility and greed so he can say, “Good boy! You deserve a treat!”
He just can’t bear the thought of replacing Michelle this early in his term.
How can one have a dog at home when you jet set all over the country to sign bills and give speeches? Poor thing won’t be getting any attention and we know that’s not fair to a
wifedog.Scrotum is not the right shade of blue
#11, Face-eating flying monkeys wouldn’t stop Rush.
He’s always said he had ‘a face made for radio’.
What’s the hurry ?
When The President wants a lapdog he has
dozens of them in the White House Press
CorpsCorpse.The Adventures of “Media” – Presidential lapdog.
The constant yapping at Obama’s opponents and energetic leg humping of HIM , his family and supporters is already getting old, and were only a month into the Hope and Change of this historic, inspirational disaster.
energetic leg humping of HIM , his family and supporters is already getting old
And how! I hate the way everyone is afraid to really make fun of him…and I hate him for being such a GD pansy that he can’t make fun of himself or allow anyone else to, unlike how every other President has accepted mockery as part of the job.
Speaking of which, FYI — the captioned photos for Obeyme and even SloeJoe at the Democrats section of I Can Haz Cheezeburger are particularly nauseating; what a bunch of a$$-kissers! We really need to bomb that site with Harvey’s LoLBamas…now those are funny!
Sorry for veering slightly off-topic folks, this just gets me riled up…