I’ve been getting a lot of e-mails like this lately:
I used to love IMAO and read it back in the day you were all about nuking the moon. You were one of the most innovative conservative blogs out there and the only one taking world peace seriously. Lately, I’ve notice a disturbing change. You barely ever talk about a tactical strike against the moon and instead are going constantly on and on about putting rocket launchers on dinosaurs. I thought it was a temporary thing, but it seems like every day there is some reference to arming dinosaurs. When you started writing about a “Dick Cheney Assassination Squad” and also had them riding dinosaurs, I had enough. You’ve lost it. It’s hard to even remember why I like your blog in the first place and I will not be coming back anymore.
Okay, I’ll try to say this simply enough so you dead-ender, paleo-conservatives can understand. All of you whining about putting rocket launchers on dinosaurs are the reason the Republicans are out of power. You are why Obama won the last election and will probably be easily reelected. Because of your archaic religious view you won’t accept the way forward: dinosaurs with military armaments.
We don’t need you and I certainly don’t need you on this blog. You are nothing but in the way. Anyone who complains about dinosaurs with rocket launchers will be banned. We’ll be better off without you.
Why we don’t just put tactical nuclear warheads on the dinosaurs’ rockets?
Whoever is making this statement needs to think long and hard about it. I remember when this blog was half love story / half cat blog. Do you really want that? I’ll tell you. You don’t. Actually, the love story wasn’t too bad. Hmmm. . . I wonder what happened to her. She used to blog here for a while, too. There were stories about hiking, and camping, and . . . ah, those were the days.
But… this is the last blog I haven’t been banned from… =(
Besides, I’ll agree to whatever as long as I can buy a cool Pirates 2.0 T Shirt
At least you haven’t proposed making pillows out of velociraptor feathers.
[THAT’S AN AWESOME IDEA!!!! Where did you get it? -Ed.]
Dinosaurs armed with rocket launchers is the way of the future. They will be the best protection for this country. Just think how secure our borders will be with the dinosaurs armed with rocket luanchers. What illegal would want to cross our border, they’d either get eaten or blown up.
I have no problem keeping and arming dinosaurs. However, I think we should arm them with 30mm rotary cannon not rockets. Mostly for the volume of fire. Minor quibble. There is a problem with both these plans: Didn’t Fred Thompson kill off the dinosaurs because they were too noisy and wouldn’t stay off his lawn? Or are they just hiding?
Hold on. Why does a paleo-conservative have against rocket launchers (a conservative thing if I’ve ever heard of any) on dinosaurs (a paleo thing if I’ve ever heard of any)?
Something smells, and it’s not the ghastly combination of dinosaur poop and rocket launcher fuel.
Here they come . . .
How about sharks with laser beams on their heads?
Is it only opposition to the Dinorocketeers that will get me banned, or would avocating for having friggen sharks with friggen laser beams on their heads also get me banned?
I just gotta know the ground rules.
Also whatever did happen to SarahK posting here? Or for that matter Lair and Spacemonkey and Rightwingduck and even Cadet Happy?
I mean Basil is cool and the six foot invisible rabbit does a great job with the lolTerritz and O’bammaz and all, but where did the rest of the group in group blog go? Will I get banned for asking that as well?
How many Dinorocketeers can you fit on the head of an MX missle?
Don’t open registration now, Frank!
You people are whack.
Yeah, I’m all that. And humble too.
I think armed dinosaurs are great, as long as it isn’t the NYT, etc.
Obviously what we need to do is build a double border fence, with armed raptors running up and down the path in between. (Note make sure that the border fences are rocket proof, or at least the northern one is)
As for what happened to the other posters, that is probably just Frankj’s medication working.
Personally, I like the idea of taking what wildlife we find around us, exposing them to nuclear/biological/chemical substances, and exploiting the resulting mutants to do our bidding, which may or may not include conventional/nuclear weapons attached to them.
Uh oh. I see where this is heading… FrankJ is goin’ all CharlesJ on us. Pretty soon there will only be two topics – twitter and dinosaurs. Anybody who questions the dinosaur dogma will be banned. Anybody that goes 24hrs without twitting will be banned. If you mention the name of somebody who has been banned, you’ll be banned. If you support armed dinosaurs, but with insufficient enthusiasm, you will be banned. If you click any less than 5 stars on a dinosaur or twitter post, you will be banned. Thus the swarming horde of commenters (that Franks wishes to be rid of) will be whittled down to about a half-dozen glaze-eyed sycophants who like twitter and dinosaurs. Then lots of people will go on other blogs and complain about how FrankJ has gone psycho, and how he used to be cool and relevant but now he’s just a crabby narcissist. Then people who read the other blogs but don’t know what anybody’s talking about will come to IMAO to see what the fuss is all about and IMAO’s hits will go up like 50000% People will be shooting each other in the streets just for a chance to place their ads on IMAO. That right there, people, is how economic recessions are cured.
I remember this blog being about “in my world” and Hellbender and such
I have never really believed in the school of thought that the other posters were just figments of FrankJ’s imagination.
I remember the podcast (now those were the days) and I can’t get myself to see Frank as either vocally talented enough to consistantly do all the voices nor rich enough to hire actors to portray his personalities.
Frank- If you REALLY want people behind your Dinorocketeers, you should do a podcast about5 them!
LOL, Rocketsaurus man, you are wicked! Dozens of blinder wearing right-side blogger/”journalists” are now wondering where that sarcastic smack on the back side of their head came from.
BAN HIM!!!
What the hell’s the difference between nuking the moon and putting rockets on dinosaurs? It all goes toward making a better world doesn’t it?
who does the iditot who sent this letter think he is. set the dick sheny squad on him and see if he thinks that dinasours with rocketlaunchers are pathetic…
Typical jackace, telling the blogger what to blog about.
You should write a post about that.
Make sure all all the words are spelled correctly though.
To 8: What are you talking about? Sharks are wimps. This is America. We do think right here we have take the bones of Predator X, fill in the gaps with cybernetics, load it up with weapons, and reanimate for our naval defense. I also suggest adding flight capabilities to the Predator X naval force and rail guns. The power of the awesome would power the rail guns so no reactor would be needed and the awesomeness of powering something with out power would add to the awesome making a never ending cycle of awesome.
Good ridance to bad rubbish, I say. You shouldn’t take abuse from ignorant, short-sighted people like that when you have plenty of us intelligent, honest, hard-working Americans to abuse you.
Twitter is teh ghey!!!
I love the dinosaur breeding program that’s underway, and the R&D dollars flowing into the toro-mounted rocket system/saddle design. But Frank’s dino’s are also getting to be a pain in the ass. I’ve got two of them hitting my trash cans 3-4 nights a week, and I’m getting tired of cleaning up the mess and reseeding the lawn from their giant claw marks when they fight (which they do), and the damn noise as they eat the neighborhood cats and juvenile delinquents.
Worse, one of ’em got into my basement this weekend, and set off a mouse-trap when it was nosing around. So I had this frigging dino with a trap on it’s right nostril (very sensisitve area, it appears), and just screaming and trashing the place. Broke my widescreen TV, a case of Yengling Lager, and just made a real mess.
Frank, ya gotta do something with these damn dinos. Please…set ’em loose on Washington or the border or something, before they get in more trouble.
Sheesh.
Thanks for that, Charles Johnson!
All complaints shall be sent to Frank J.’s recycle bin, and we all know how Frank J. loves to recycle. Heh, heh, heh.
I don’t think anything can live up to the limey posts from 2004 or the Rumsfeld strangler. As a matter of fact the In My Wolrd’s from the 2004 election were downright hilarious. And your love stories about Sara K before you got married. Sure those were all great but we’ve gotta continue to make new and fresh blogs. I think you’ll always have critics and some will be new material for you. But Frank this is and always will be my favorite Conservative humor blog.
Gotta say I think the obvious answer would be some sort of rocket launcher armed robotic cyborg dinosaur. Obviously, since Dark Lord Cheney can’t be everywhere at once, (after all, someone’s got to send out the marching orders for the VRWC) each dinosaur would have a virtual copy of his brain, to do his bidding directly. Plus, this would have the added perk of each dino sounding exactly like Cheney.
Frank, I humbly apologize for everything I said in that email. I take it back. I was drunk when I sent it. Please don’t ban me.
my favorite Conservative humor blog
Mine too, but mainly because it’s the ONLY Conservative humor blog I know of? If there is another then I dunno about it.
Most Conservative blogs are pretty straight news and/or opinion, no humor. No rockets on Dinosaurs, no FredFacts, no lolterizt, no IMWs.
Not to kiss any behinds, but IMAO is in a class by itself.
Regular dinosaurs isn’t going far enough. We need to send in special forces to steal “G-cells” from tokyo. Use those Godzilla cells to genetically create 300′ tall, nuclear fire breathing dinosaurs that know Kung-Fu, and then arm them with rail-guns, rotary cannons and nuclear tipped ICBM’s. That’s not just awesome, that’s ultra-awesome. While we’re also at it, we need to subject some scientists to intrinsic fields (of course, teaching them how to reassemble themselves beforehand). Watch the scene where Dr. Manhattan walks through Vietnam (of course, force these guys to wear some cloths!).
no, the dinos dont need to know kung foo. that is a lesser art practiced by asian people. we need freedom fuu. think it will catch on?
You ever read Iowahawk, Nunya?
To follow, Iowahawk and IMAO are really the only ones I know of.
You are exactly right, Frank. Spot. On. Seriously. Anyone who doesn’t agree is obviously stupid and deserves to have the crap beat out of them. Are you going to provide a list of people who down-ding this thread so we can get started on that?
How about The People’s Cube?
I’ve always thought you had that whole dinosaur with rocket launchers thing backwards. Instead of putting rocket launchers onto dinosaurs, we should be figuring out how to launch dinosaurs with rockets. I mean, think about it – if we put rockets on dinosaurs, then we have to figure out a way to get them to attack our enemies. But, if we were to launch dinosaurs at our enemies, then they could just resort to their nature and go all nuts on our enemy when they hit the ground.
My logic is so geometrical, I should be a scientist or something.
I know of several funny sites, but it seems kinda rude to drop a list of them here. Unfortunately none seem to post as often as IMAO. The posting frequency and the commenters here are what make IMAO my fave humor site. Plus the interaction with -Ed. Ed is pretty funny.
“How about The People’s Cube?”
Hey, that was the first blog I read regularly! I haven’t visited it in awhile.
You wouldn’t have received that email had you upgraded to Lasers mounted on Trilobites.
I used to read this site regularly back when it was the only real option for reading about nuking the moon. Now that there are plenty of other sites reporting on moon nuking developments, and I just don’t care that much about dinosaurs or rocket launchers, I’ll have to admit I don’t do much beyond scanning to see if any noon muking is being talked about, then move on. Frankly, I don’t know how much longer this site will be a daily stop for me.
I love the dinos with rocket launchers idea! It got me thinking…we should look into arming dolphins with torpedo launchers. They could be trained to go after pirates AND that stupid green peace boat.
This e-mail seems like a plant…a convenient straw man which allows Frank J to further his case for mounting rocket launchers on dinosaurs. After all, it has to be fake because who’s not in favor of rocket launchers on dinosaurs?
I mean, if they weren’t supposed to have rocket launchers, why would God have made them that way?
I think Frank is undergoing some kind of stress.
Wait……
I thought the only thing that dinosaurs armed with rocket launchers was the only thing that could possibly defeat the pinko-commie-libs weapon(s) of choice…..Care Bear Stares while riding on My Little Ponies and hugs from bucket headed fools….
Wait……
I thought that dinosaurs armed with rocket launchers was the only thing that could possibly defeat the pinko-commie-libs weapon(s) of choice…..Care Bear Stares while riding on My Little Ponies and hugs from bucket headed fools….
We could carpet bomb Iran with pterodactyl sized butterflies!
I refuse to have any opinion about the whole “nuke the moon/mount rockets on dinosaurs” debate until Meghan McCain weighs in on it. She wears black and has tattoos and gay friends, so she knows.
This is supposed to be a humour blog? ….. DOWN! with conservatives that dont support Dino’s with Rockets!They’re not REAL conservative humour bloggers! What is this nation coming to? I never thought I’de live to see the day that a red blooded merican didnt like the idea of Dino’s with Rockets….as matter of fact I think that the only ones who DON’T like the idea of Dino’s with Rockets would be girly men and people that twitter.. wait… thats redundant….strike the grily man part and just leave the twitter.
I don’t understand why we can’t have dinosaurs with rocket launchers on the moon.
What a silly question. Because of the Nazis, of course.
Nuke the Moon.
Can the armed dinos have laser beams attached to their heads Frank?
Frank, you must follow their leaders example and apolgize to the emailer about all of the offense you caused him by not blogging about the moon. It is of course this evils blog that has caused all of his pain. And we know you will rectify the situation by not being the Frank J.
On the other hand, you could do the right thing, grab your crotch and tell the little whiner to “blog this”!