Why Do Democrats Want to Kill Us?

I think this is a question a lot of people are asking. Democrats do seem very determined to take all of our money through “stimulus” packages and then destroy health care so we all die, but why?

It could be because Democrats just don’t like Americans, but it’s a big leap from simply not liking Americans to actively trying to rob and kill them.

I’m guessing they are working on the behest of aliens trying to take over the planet. It may seem far-fetched that Democrats would just give up the planet like that, but it is more likely than you think. Malicious aliens could easily convince Democrats to do their bidding:

ALIENS: “We are advanced aliens. Kill the Americans.”

DEMOCRATS: “That doesn’t sound right.”

ALIENS: “But we are very smart. Look at our advanced spaceship and this pedantic paper I wrote on race in America.”

DEMOCRATS: “You are very smart! We’ll unquestioningly do everything you tell us then because we’re very smart too!”

So what should we do to stop Democrats and their possible alien-backing? Shout at them at townhalls? Perhaps. Recruit other aliens to even the odds? No, I don’t trust aliens because they look different from me. Make fun of Nancy Pelosi’s face? It is impossible not to do that.

But what we must concentrate on is undermining the power of Barack Obama (does that sound like the name of an alien?). He obviously used alien mind rays to get himself elected, but they are now wearing off and people are starting to say, “Why the hell did we vote for him? He’s a moron and has funny ears.” Whatever Obama asks of you, don’t do it. Show you are independent of aliens. Also, sneeze on him in case he’s an alien and his immune system can’t handle earth bacteria.

Next, we need to win big in the next election. If the Democrats find that destroying America hurts them at the polls, they may remove it from their platform.

Finally, we should hunt down the aliens and give them single-payer health care and watch they all slowly die from government inefficiency. It sounds cruel but it’s what you get for messing with Earth.

38 Comments

  1. “Hawaii” is the name of the smaller of a binary planet system orbiting Vega (Vega III-B). That explains how Obama was born on Hawaii, and is also a space alien. And, yes, the other planet (Vega III-A) is called “Kenya” by its residents, explaining all the confusion.

  2. There is no way that the White House is going to let ABC air V. when it comes so close to the truth.

    If we had blown up the moon the aliens would have known not to mess with us. Damn pacifism.

  3. Basil’s wisdom of the heavens sets the record straight for the astronomically-challenged.>>> Why do the Demoncrats want to kill us? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that in war, the goal is to kill the enemy. And if they can get their opponents to do it themselves (through abortion and ‘euthanasia), so much the better.

  4. A footballer in England claims all of the Earth’s leaders are lizard spacemen in human guise. After hearing Obama’s hissess, I am beginning to wonder.
    They tried to get us to nuke ourselves, but the Doctor stopped them. We need his alien detector.

  5. So if I’m sent off in a rocket ship to travel a couple hundred light years as I span the 10th dimension, and then upon arrival at said host planet why again would I seek out the group composed of Creeps, Pervs, Liars, Gays, Congressmen, Rapists etc.?

  6. In regards to Mr. Obama’s recent Townhall on Healthcare, Am I the only one disturbed by our Presidents gross loack of understanding when it comes to building? Doesn’t he know you can’t build a Foundation on a Pillar? And How do you cut a donut hole in half after the donut has been cooked to sugary delicousness?Taking away half the donut does not make the hole smaller- it just turns into an Open Crescent from which all can fit in.

    s for teh Above I propose we use IMAO’s famous Nuke the moon plan to beat the Democrats/Aliens, after all the aliens may live there ( or Mars) so it’s a win win.

  7. Somebody, quickly tell the Dems the story of the goose that laid the golden egg. If I remember it rightly, A Dems found a rich Rep, and were happily taking all his gold. Eventually, they decided to kill the rich Rep, and suddenly decided that there would be no more gold. It’s kinda like that with the health care (whatever it is today). They will kill of the Reps, and then wonder why their money has run out.

  8. I think you’re looking at this the wrong way, Frank.

    Obama, who loves us all very much, realizes that aliens pose a great threat to us. Therefore, he’s going to stick us with crappy health “care” so we’ll get sick. The aliens will be unable to cope with our diseases.

    Praise Obama!

  9. Demons want to kill us because that’s what their fearless leader wants to happen (if you believe they all follow Satan)

    If you don’t believe that mayhaps they want to kill us because we are living breathing examples of why capitalism, freedom, liberty and a belief in something higher than ourselves, works.

    Or they hate themselves but they transfere that self loathing to us because they can’t kill themselves (they’re cowards remember) so they think killing us will make them happy……..thing is nothing will make them happy, they are miserable because they have no hope of anything after this life (this is all they get and that would make me suicidal if I believed it).

    Or they hate us because they have nothing else in their lives that they feel passion about……..except hating Conservatives. How very, very sad.

  10. So O-bah-muhh compared the Gov’t. HealthCare to the U.S. Postal System at the ‘Townhall’ meeting in Portsmouth NH. Yeah, that’ll instill confidence in your Plan Barack!

  11. Reply #28 I feel better already! Then I snapped back to reality and realized we have to pay for Stamps, so we will have to pay for all our tests….. which will come in seven different sizes ( even if you need hundreds of tests in all sizes) and your test will be delivered within 2-7 weeks and does not ship on Holidays, Sundays, and maybe Saturdays, we’ll see how far the Postmaster general/Surgeon general get with that….

  12. Now THAT is a brilliant plan….just one thing …. it seems like a lt of work… ya know first I gotta undermine Obama’s power……. then I gotta help win elections…… then I gotta wait for the dumbasses to have what amounts to a policy epiphany (like thats possible)…. How bout we just fast forward in the interest of efficiency…. and shoot both the aliens and the socialists. Seems like the most expiedient thing to do …. I got a life to live ya know? I things to do, peoples to see, yada yada yada. Once they’re gone I can go back to living the ‘merican way.

  13. We really need robots programmed to act like us. They will then fool the aliens who will try to kill the robots, but the robots will then zap the aliens which will be excellent to watch! Robots vs. Aliens!!!

  14. We really need robots programmed to act like us. They will then fool the aliens who will try to kill the robots, but the robots will then zap the aliens which will be excellent to watch! Robots vs. Aliens!!! And the Democrats will be like AWWWWWW!

  15. Pingback: I Knew That For Quite A While… « Liber Ex Machina

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