Colonel Mo’ammar Mohammar Muammar Qaddafi Khadaffi Gaddafi (Good, God, is there any consensus on how you spell this psycho’s name???) is in the news yet again this week.
Anyway, it seems that before he goes off camping in New Jersey, the Libyan dictator has plans to stop by the UN and ask them to dissolve Switzerland.
No, I’m not kidding about any of that, and those are not links to The Onion!
It seems that the UK government’s favorite oil-for-terrorists trading partner has his panties in a twist because his son Hannibal Lecter? and his wife were arrested there for assaulting a hotel maid in Geneva about a year ago.
So, of course, they now deserve to have their country carved up and have the pieces given to the surrounding nations.
I knew there had to be more to the story, however, and did some digging. Here’s what I found out:
Other Things Gaddafi Has Against the Swiss:
h/t Ace of Spades left sidebar headlines
Hey, you’d be a bit wacky, too, if you couldn’t figure out how to spell either your first or last names.
Though probably not that wacky.
I bet his middle name is Alouisius.
Oh come on. He got a make over and is really hip now with his Gene Simmons look and Michael Jackson jacket. This dude is tre cool. The new correct way to spell his name is Mo’ Hammer. I hear that later he’s heading up-town to cut a new hip hop CD with new Man Date pal B HO.
…and that little Swiss Miss whore with showing her bare arms, her braided hair, enticing me with her creamy, chocolatey deliciousness!
There are too many states nowadays, please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.
Either the Swiss are not very neutral when it comes to the treatment of their chamber maids or perhaps they’re just not impressed with the man who has been in charge of Libya for forty some odd years but has never gotten promoted beyond the rank of colonel. Or maybe it’s that uniform of his….he looks like a nineteen forties New York City doorman.
Four words: secret lost Nazi gold.
Khadaffi is crazy. Crazy like a fox.
Mo mar thinks that with all those mountains around him he’ll finally be safe from President Reagan’s F-14s.
What is the problem with Mo nar’s son? All he wanted was a little Swiss Miss.
As long as he’s going camping, maybe we can convince Cheney to take him hunting as well.
You know I am slightly disappointed that I haven’t gotten a Hannibal crossing the Alps joke out of any of you yet…
Anyone care to hit the slow hanging curveball?
What, like ‘Hannibal’s Dad Crosses the Appalachians’?
The Colonel wants to return to the Libya with the most elusive of trophies, the almost mythical, long sought after prize that will earn him the gratitude and envy of all. Yes, he shall track, subdue and conquer the mighty Chamber Pot, leading the Islamic world into unheard of first century sanitation. From the halls of Montezuma’s revenge to the fouled shores of Tripoli, the people shall rejoice. At least they will after some brave soul dares to venture out and discover toilet paper.
And yeah, I got the “Hannibal Crosses the Alps, aka Hannibal KaDaffy PO’s the Swiss gov’t, but I kinda thought my Appalachian reference was clever, too.
Then again, no-one has ever asked me to guest-blog anywhere…
Ah Wacky Daffy as I am wont to call him. He got very quiet after Pres Reagan and some pilots paid him and his mansions a visit back in the 80’s.
That is the only way to negotiate with these people, bomb the snot out of them. Ah those were the good ol’ days.
Everybody knows that Switzerland melts at 98.2 degrees. Gadfly should just pump more oil for the evil West and globull warming will take out the Swiss.
Small wonder that the idiot sleeps in a tent when he has perfectly good palace!
We Swiss ought’ve given you all the names of US tax evaders on swiss bank accouts and in return you could send a few rockets into Libya. Rumour has it, you Americans are quite good at that!
Fact 1: Kadaffy has been holding 2 swiss citizens as hostages for a year now
Fact 2: Hannibal was shortly arrested in Geneva because 2 of his own staff run to swiss police after they were beaten and abused by Hannibal and his wife, who were living in a Geneva hotel at the time.
keep it up!
The crazy Libyan dictator MG obviously thinks the Swiss are, in the words of FrankJ’s realistic plan for world peace, “harmless looking weenie
who appear to do anything to avoid conflict.”Let’s not tell him about their Air Force: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJD4KlmF3Ag
or their “infantry”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-oQ–U-WaQ and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm7u8iPMYfg .
These are seriously crazy people, much crazier than MG. They can’t make up their minds whether to speak the language of Napoleon or that of Prussia/Hitler, so they speak both, plus English, all very well. They are very rich, walk around in an almost constant state of sugar high, and hang out in mountains with eagles and hawks…and all Swiss men between the ages of 20 and 30 (34 for officers) have been through boot camp and are required to keep their weapons at home (the army gives enlisted personnel a Sig 550 rifle and officers, medical and–oddly enough–postal personnel either a SIG 510 or a 9 mm SIG-Sauer P220 semi-automatic, along with enough ammo [50 rounds] to get them to the army barracks in case of invasion). The older men get to keep their weapons, too. The Swiss have one of the highest rates of gun ownership in the world, and they know how to use them. What with the money and the guns, the UN won’t dare tick them off.
Go ahead, MG. Make their day.
Ah the Swiss, must be great believers in “the best defense is a great offense”. We could learn a lot from them mayhaps.
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