North Korea is demanding $65 trillion in compensation from the U.S. You want to laugh at North Korea’s wacky antics that only ever convince countries to take them less seriously, but then you remember these nutjobs control the lives of millions of people. It’s like the most moronic, obnoxious troll you’ve met on the internet as unquestioned dictator. It’s just wrong that government exists and those leaders live, but it’s also well established now that we don’t like going to other countries and setting up new governments.
So how about this idea: First chance we get, we murder all of North Korea’s leadership.
Yes, they’ll probably just put other evil nutjobs in charge. So here’s what we do: We kill them, too. And we just keep doing that over and over until they run out of evil nutjobs and have to put someone somewhat sensible in charge. I think it’s a sensible idea — probably for other countries too — and won’t take any troop commitments as soon as we have lasers that can kill people from space. How many times do I have to say this, people: Smart diplomacy = space lasers.
I’m just trying to build us a better world; people really need to start listening to me.
Over my dead gluteal maximus.
Sorry Norks – China got all our money.
What makes you so sure that Obama and the other democrats haven’t already okay’d the payment?
I say . . . pay Kim the $76 trillion and tell him to get a new barber – seriously.
Naturally that will cause massive inflation, and require the US to move to a new currency, but hey, most of the pain will be absorbed by the Chinese who are suddenly left with worthless dollars and the devaluation would clear up the mortgage mess and make our public debt so much easier to deal with! The Chinese are used to this treatment, having been screwed over when the world shifted to the gold standard, rendering the huge Chinese silver hoards nearly worthless in the latter part of the 1800’s.
The question is, would China be so pissed at Dear Leader that they would take his ass out or would then use all those worthless dollars to stock up on kim chee and roast dog?
Hah! Silly North Koreans, Obama already spent the US into the poorhouse so good luck. Hey, how about we send you the 65 trillion Obama / Biden bumberstickers people have ripped off their cars as Obama’s Stumblebum Style of Government became painfully clear to the idiots who voted for him
We could supplement the space lasers with dinosaur-mounted lasers, but we would need dinosaurs with Asian features so they wouldn’t be detected. One of the favorite meals in South Korea is cat mandu. In the North they eat mostly tree bark, if they can find any.
This is a fun spin on the John Derbyshire “Rubble makes no trouble” argument… which, on certain days, sounds awfully appealing!
Not sure if we could find them. Every time I see one of those satellite photos, there’s never any lights on in N. Korea.
Actually, your suggestion makes lots more sense than anything to come out of the Obama administration on any subject whatsoever.
Space lasers…. turn people into little blue dots like recording on a DVD. Like bugs under a magnifying glass in the sun. I like it, Frank.
Give kimmy the moon, he can wear it around his neck. Its ours and has to be worth 65 trillion. I mean look at the size of that rock! And my how the nukes make it sparkle!
I say we do give him something, like 65 megatons on top of Pyong Yang.
“Smart diplomacy = space lasers.”
Now there’s something that needs to be tattoed on every diplomat, Frank. Upside down on their chest so it’s easy for them to read everytime they look down at their chest.
I have a better idea for the cash-strapped Kim. Kim has always been obsessed with stardom, so he could get his own reality TV show. The kidz on the Jersey Shore have nothing on the wacky antics of Our Dear Leader.
Admit it; we’d all tune in weekly to see what Our Dear Leader will do next.
Tell them the check is in the mail.
OH EM GEEE, Burmashave! That is pure brilliance! I love this idea!
What shall we call the show?
Real Dictators of SE Asia?
My Super Sweet Totalitarian Regime?
Deadliest Country?
Kim Jong Il of Love?
“What shall we call the show?”
Kim Jong Illin’
Who Wants to Marry a Crazy Dictator?
Korean Idol
Kim Jong Il: It’s Complicated and Insane
@Knitter Chick: I was thinkin’ that it would be called “Our Dear Leader,” but you and Cat have come up with catchier names. I like “Most Deadliest Country,” but we know that Kim will absolutely sign on if we tell him it’ll be called “Kim Jong Il of Love” or “Korean Idol.”
Desperate Depots!
A dating show is the way to go. And then at some critical moment, we sneak in some FemBots with lasers in their bras. It’ll be James Bondian, practically. Now that I think about it, that might be a better way to go than the Laser-Eyed Dinosaurs….
Can we get Simon Cowell?
I can see it now, Dear Leader makes a pitch for his latest economic program and Simon sits there with a look of disgust on his face: “That is terrible. Why are you on this show?”. Meanwhile Randy looks at him and says “Dude, I just don’t feel it.”
Will they accept payment in kind? We can send them cruise missiles. We’ll even deliver them straight to whatever military installations he wants. That’s a lot of cruise missiles so I know he’ll want us to distribute them out a bit too. Delivery will be so easy!
Maybe if we sent them Obama, Pelosi and Reid along with a couple billion and maybe everyone who voted for Obamacare they would call it even? I’d even throw in Obama’s hope, change and unicorn rainbow farts.
Yeah for space lasers!! Watch that poofy hair burn !!!!
I’ll be in charge of the FemBots, KnitterChick. You just leave it to me. I know what I’m doing. Trust me. You can count on me to handle the ladies.
“Ouch! You should put a “Danger!! High Voltage and Amperage!!” sign on those babies!”
You’re a giver, Jimmy. I always say that about you.
And show can have “Pantsuits Provided by Hillary Rodham Clinton” in closing credits.
North Koreans are funny. Russians I can see as spies. Look at Yul Brynner. I swear I thought he was a cowboy.
How could a North Korean spy in America? The only Asian spy I remember had silly fake facial hair and was killed by Chuck Norris in Good Guys Wear Black after he blew up Ann Archer’s plane. That’s a tad conspicuous.
Hmmm. Bushy W’s pre-emptive war is starting look pretty good right about now. Then again, we could “encourage” the South Koreans to try and defend themselves, although I think it will work out about as well as Nixon’s Vietnamization program by April of 1975.
I’ll have to ask my leftie political friends if they think that throwing South Korea to the North Koreans will satisfy North Korea’s political leadership’s “hunger.” Oops. Forgot! I don’t HAVE any leftie political friends, anymore!
What to do about the NorK’s? As far as I’m concerned…nothing! Absolutely nothing! Pull our troops out of SosK and let the NorK’s go ahead and invade the South. The worst that could happen with a NorK victory over the South is that about 3,000,000,000 or so jobs would come back to America. Well…maybe they’d go to India but, lets face it, it’s an international crap shoot, right! At least some of the jobs would come home. As far as SosK’s concerned….well we would of course feel sorry for them but after all the NorK’s would be doing us a favor by getting rid of one of our main economic rivals…and it wouldn’t cost us one red cent. Hell, maybe Kim Il Jung would get that coveted Nobel Peace prize he’s been seeking all these years.
Oh-oh, I may have f**ked that up. I think it may be Jung Il Kim. No, no wait a minute, that’s not right, it may be Kim Jung Il…yeah I think that’s it….Kim Jung Il.
zzyzx, I am no military expert, not by any measure, but I do wonder if the South Koreans would stand a better chance of kicking the Norks in their panties if Seoul wasn’t so close to Nork artillery before any war even started.
They should just do Survivor: Pyong Yang and be done with it.