[High Praise! to Frank J.]
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Obama had the biggest achievement of his Presidency…
[High Praise! to Frank J.]
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Obama had the biggest achievement of his Presidency…
…and thanked the highways.
…but was disappointed that it didn’t last longer than 4 hours.
…YAHTZEE!
…UNO!
…BINGO!
It was over in two minutes, which was 1 1/2 minutes longer than usual. Michelle has never been happier.
…without any help, he was able to successfully navigate through a door and properly identify a window.
…he got that IKEA desk together all by himself!*
*Joe helped, but that may have made it take longer, is all.
He got his head out of that confounded bucket.
He managed to reduce America’s AAA credit rating. Oh wait…
…a double birdie.
…and America took its largest leap yet into socialism.
…he ate the entire ice cream without getting a single drop on his shirt.
and he still blamed Bush.
he had an achievement?
….he was finally able to get that crayon out of Joe’s nostril.
he finally finished reading the entire Constitution. Unfortunately, it was South Africa’s Constitution, recommended to him by Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and he still didn’t understand it.
…24 hours drug-free.
…he finally figured out why no one would ever play Monopoly with him.
…he finally got approval from INS for his green card.
…the blue fairy finally made him a real boy.
…making people believe that evil doesn’t exist.
he finally figured out which way Mecca was from the Oval Office.
…potty trained both Bo and Joe.
accepting that he was the problem. Acceptance is the first step toward recovery.
tapped some of that fine Pelosi tail. Botox isn’t just for the face anymore. Not with that congressional healthcare package.
…when his Indonesian madras awarded him an honorary degree.
…when he talked back to Michelle.
…when he used his ninja Popomatic™ skills to beat Biden at Trouble™.
…when his recipe for “Cold Omelets with Dog Meat” was published in the Pow Wow Cookbook.
…when he and his Choom Gang successfully filled the presidential limousine with choom smoke.
@DamnCat: Birdie? Can you get a double birdie while taking a mulligan? Mebbe he got his double birdie on the putting green.
mailed in his absentee vote for Romney. 13 times.
@Burmashave – all I know is he got itover the bridge, through the windmill and in the hole in 2 stokes.
…he memorized most of the lines of the pledge of allegiance.
But Joe flushed it before he could show Michelle.
@DamnCat, to rephrase (all credit to Cat, of course) because it should be in the running:
…when he got it over the bridge, through the windmill and in the hole in 2 stokes.
…he sent to the potty all by himself like a big boy!
…he finally destroyed that horrible America.
…he finally got Mi’chelle to do Sa’Hut nga’chuq.
Fast & Furious
…he remembered to blink without being teleprompted to do so.
…managing to hide his choom stash from the Secret Service for 4 years.
…none – everything he did as President – he didn’t do that by himself.
…wasting more of other people’s money than all other presidents combined.
…running up the national debt to the highest level or any country in the history of this planet – a record that will hopefully never be broken
…raising a puppy to adulthood without eating it.
…lowering his golf handicap from 24 to 16 in just 4 years!
…finally managed to pull his slice onto the fairway on the 14th hole at Andrews.
…created a new number: debtillion. It’s an imaginary number, like i, it’s the amount of money “the rich” (hiss) can pay to eliminate the budget deficit.
…got secret service members to take a break from whorin’ it up long enough to get one of his daughter’s latest suitors secreted away to area 51. And it only cost $0.5debtillion.
…took a much deserved break for some “Barry time,” went on vacation with Michelle and the kids. It only cost $2debtillion.
…created more imaginary jobs than any other President.
…got the left wing media to buy into the idea that if you pack your lunch on a Tupperware container when you go to work and then bring the container back home and reuse it, that’s a green job, and Obama created it
When he finally completed the back nine after four long arduous years spent playing golf.
…his paladin is now level 30!
…when he resigned!
…he made animal shelters all over the country flush with cash when they no longer had to buy dog food. He “adopted” them all. Thanks, Mr. President!
@Burmashave
I thought that book was the Bow-wow Cookbook…
…he finally got Bo house trained. Joe is getting there.
…thanks to Dulcolax tablets.
And then he took the oath of office
While golfing. However, he has yet to notice the coincidence of the economy not tanking while he is not on the clock.
He was able to talk in his sleep without a teleprompter.
He discovered that his sons needed braziers.
That you can catch sasquatch on tape while she is gardening.
The we really prefer he eat his waffle in france.
…He was finally clear.
… he went 3 full waking hours without blaming something on Bush.
…4 years ago when he was elected.
…making the US less affluent than Canada. Next in his sights, getting behind Mexico.
. . . but Michelle blamed it on the dog.
….he balanced his own checkbook without Tim’s help.
He borrowed one of Biden’s jigsaw puzzles. The box said “4 to 6 years”, but Obama did it in only two hours!
… and since it lasted more than 4 hours after he took that pill, he was grateful for that podium in the press room AND the doctor he called afterwards.
Iowa Jim for the win.
His ears.
… he went potty and wiped himself without any help from Michelle.
Obama had the biggest achievement of his Presidency…
and found out he didn’t do it on his own.
He won the Nobel prize for economics and did it with the same qualifications as his Nobel peace prize.
D’ya remember that Obama actually flubbed the oath and then blamed his mistake on Justice Roberts? (an excuse quickly pushed by the MSM)
During his first breaths as President, Obama failed, blamed someone else and relied on the MSM to cover for him.
Bad portents, they were.
…like Parisians have the most courageous French.
…he got elected.
…he discovered what was in Obamacare.
…for which he immediately sent personal apologies to all America’s enemies.
…he finally calculated the total number of US states.
Ceased oceans to rise and healed globally over-warmed planets…no, WAIT!!! Michelle…QUICK…be proud of something so I can be more American!!!
Went all day without someone in England mistaking him for Mr. Gryle from Going Postal.
Took credit away from cleaning staff for waxy yellow build-up on dining hall table.
Used a mass murder to talk about himself and his daughters without looking smug.
In November 2008, when he received the most votes for a Presidential candidate in US history. Over 62 Million duped!
discovered that only the pointy end of the pencil writes.
When he put his pants on before his shoes…