…that I’ll make you a deal… Tell you what, Mr. President, you let us build so many nuclear power plants that people won’t have to make a left turn to drive into one’s parking lot, and we’ll let you subsidize all the electric flaming go-carts you wish. Deal? You can even have the domain name! (As of this writing, “electricflaminggocarts.com” was still available).
… that the oceans have begun to recede just like he promised. The downside is that food can no longer be economically transported from farms to cities. The upside is that all the illegal aliens on food stamps and welfare have starved to death. The downside is that they all still vote democra.t
…Obama mothballed the presidential limo and ordered a bullet-proof sedan chair. It’s not that he can’t afford gas anymore, it just seemed more appropriate to his status.
… Gas is expensive? Who says? Let me be clear: I just had some arugula flown in from Chicago and driven over to the White House for lunch and it didn’t cost me a single cent! Why, just the other day I drove up to New York with Steven Chu in the limo and not once did the cost of gasoline come up in the conversation. The motorcade stopped for gas 36 times and Steven and I didn’t feel it in our wallets one bit. The price of gas is high. That’s funny. Next you’ll claim that we sent guns to Mexico to make it look like U.S. weapons bought at gun shows are fueling the drug cartel wars so that we can use that as an excuse for stronger gun control laws.
…but it’s okay. Yet, $1.80 a gallon under Bush was a travesty.
Bursting into flames in a Volt doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.
I’m becoming more like Jesus. I walk everywhere I go.
The FDA is considering changing Beano to being prescription-only. Oh wait, that’s an Obamacare line…
Biodiesel has “evolved” from being a hippie-green thing into a legitimate optional component of conservative strategic survival planning.
…that the Presidential motorcade’s movements can be tracked by its impact on the national debt.
…that I’ll make you a deal… Tell you what, Mr. President, you let us build so many nuclear power plants that people won’t have to make a left turn to drive into one’s parking lot, and we’ll let you subsidize all the electric flaming go-carts you wish. Deal? You can even have the domain name! (As of this writing, “electricflaminggocarts.com” was still available).
…that Mr. Backwards has decided that the US Navy will be fueled with $26/gal. biofuel.
…that the President can honestly claim to have kept one campaign promise.
…that only the government can afford to buy it.
… that the oceans have begun to recede just like he promised. The downside is that food can no longer be economically transported from farms to cities. The upside is that all the illegal aliens on food stamps and welfare have starved to death. The downside is that they all still vote democra.t
The Democrats are working on a bill to tax flatulence.
… that bitter clingers can no longer afford to burn him in effigy.
…that the Brand in Chief recommends you stop complaining and eat your government issued beans.
…that only the Anointed One’s campaign entourage will be the only ones able to afford it.
Thank you America! It’s been a great shakedown!
That when Obama bows to the Arabian sheik, the sheik winks back.
…you need a co-signer to fill up.
…that only AlGore can afford to take a road trip.
…that street corner beggars are holding signs that read “Will work for regular unleaded.”
…that the price of the First Family vacations has skyrocketed…or so they’ve heard.
..That moochelle is finally proud of her country sedan.
…that scientists are working on an engine that is powered by beer.
…that soccer moms have turned to prostitution just to keep their mini-vans on the road.
… that gas station attendants are pimping out soccer moms to the wealthy who can afford the gas.
…that he now wants to tax people for not buying it.
for every $10 you give Obama, you will get 10 cents off at the pump!*
* With ObamaRewards card.
That cutting the cheese now requires a reverse mortgage.
Chris Rock can only afford 3 limos.
that you can’t afford to drive to the unemployment office
that only 1,000 people a day can afford to escape California instead of 2,000 a day
That Obama is making the military carpool with France.
… that Obama’s next 2-week vacation will be on a sail boat.
… that Obama has promised “no more golf carts” and will only use caddies from this point forward.
…there is now a special Taco Bell tax.
Can’t I just eat my waffle?!!
…we will not warp! Today!! /Captain Kirk
….thieves have been reduced to stealing Priuses!
… that there will now be a $2,000 penalty tax for not properly inflating your tires.
…that Senators had to double their per-diem.
… that Michael Moore* is eating beans for the income now.
*I couldn’t remember his name (for makes me proud, somehow) so I Googled “liberal blowhard filmmaker.” Easy-peasy.
… That it is cheaper for me to keep repairing my Volt that keeps spontaneously combusting.
…OnStar disables your starter if your Equifax score is under 670.
…it costs more money to breathe than to die.
…Obama mothballed the presidential limo and ordered a bullet-proof sedan chair. It’s not that he can’t afford gas anymore, it just seemed more appropriate to his status.
That Obama has started giving stimulus money to boeing for the development of the solar 747.
…that the tax for not buying it has nearly doubled.
… Gas is expensive? Who says? Let me be clear: I just had some arugula flown in from Chicago and driven over to the White House for lunch and it didn’t cost me a single cent! Why, just the other day I drove up to New York with Steven Chu in the limo and not once did the cost of gasoline come up in the conversation. The motorcade stopped for gas 36 times and Steven and I didn’t feel it in our wallets one bit. The price of gas is high. That’s funny. Next you’ll claim that we sent guns to Mexico to make it look like U.S. weapons bought at gun shows are fueling the drug cartel wars so that we can use that as an excuse for stronger gun control laws.
that Obama decided to double down his investment in Solyndra.
That Moochelle’s ass is now the number one threat to ……. well, everything.
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