If Curiosity finds some Transformers on Mars, don’t tell Michael Bay because I don’t want to risk giving him a premise for another movie.
Is Mars the one with the rings?
Obama: “Unemployment remains high because jobs are being taken by technology such as ATMs and Mars rovers.”
Why don’t we ever land on Venus? It’s closer and bigger and less warlike.
They should do a sequel to that Jamaican bobsled movie but instead it’s a Jamaican curling team. Starring Usain Bolt.
How about we get rid of your and you’re and just use “yer” in both situations.
And how about we get rid of there, their, and they’re and just say “thar” with a pirate accent.
Has Mythbusters tested out surviving a nuke in a fridge? Govt should lend nukes for that since they’re not really doing anything with them.
“I’m from Mythbusters to pick up some nukes.”
“Okay. Can I see a photo ID?”
“RACIST!”
At the Olympics’ end, Obama takes all the medals from the athletes and gives them to the politicians who voted to make roads and bridges.
Obama: “America will only be able to watch helplessly as I add trillions to the debt, but I first need people to voluntarily give me millions.”
Just in case, I hope they gave Curiosity a gun.
If I were on a manned mission to Mars, I’d bring a shotgun.
“We’re pretty sure there’s no life there.”
“Not sure enough.”
I bet the same conversation happened with those space marines from Doom.
I hope Chris Christie is the GOP VP candidate because fat jokes are fun and easy. Like your mom. Who is fat.
Even the thought of Chris Christie in the race is already making my humor more immature.
We wouldn’t have so much corruption in the Olympics if we didn’t allow so many foreign countries in it.
So what happened with golf to cause the Olympics to drop it 108 years ago?
Bought a weapon from an auction in Diablo 3 for 12k gold, put a 70 gold gem in it, and turned around and auctioned it for 250k gold. I’m a financial genius.
Is Mars the one with the rings?
No. That’s somebody who’s played on more than one Super Bowl winner.
“So what happened with golf to cause the Olympics to drop it 108 years ago?”
I don’t know, Frank, but it needs to happen now to synchronized water sports and beach volleyball.
Mars is the chocolate one with the almonds and nougat center.
“Hi, I’m Mitt Romney and I picked Chris Christie for Vice President because I like fat jokes. They (yeah, you, fatty!) are fun and easy – plus I read IMAO where fat is funny. Fat fat fat fat! Fatty fat fatty fat. Fatty! Fat fat fat fat…”
“So what happened with golf to cause the Olympics to drop it 108 years ago?”
Golf was considered too dull for an Olympic event. It was replaced with the (relatively) more exciting racewalking.
Interestingly, today spectators demand even more excitement and there are plans in the works to replace racewalking with race-baiting. Americans are expected to dominate the sport followed closely by practitioners from several Muslim countries. Olympic officials have questioned whether being a Muslim alone qualifies as “race”. This has led some to charge the Olympic governing body with racism.
Come on, Biden vs. Christie? Biden better have a suit made of bacon, because that’s the only way he could distract Christie enough to win.
Ryan for Treasury Secretary, if so. “Ryan: He Knows How to Use Turbo Tax.”
We definitely need to bring back Tug-o-War to the Olympics. That would be awesome.
Christie is great as the Governor of NJ. Put him into a presidential election, and he would be one big gaff-machine.
A debate between him and Biden would basically be Biden saying stupid things, and Christie constantly calling him an idiot. Entertaining, yes. Good for a campaign…not so sure.
“At the Olympics’ end, Obama takes all the medals from the athletes and gives them to the politicians who voted to make roads and bridges.” actually he will take them and give them to people who are too lazy to participate in sports because “when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”
“Just in case, I hope they gave Curiosity a gun.” If they did give Curiosity a gun would it kill the cat?
hey, we just put an SUV on another planet. A NUCLEAR-POWERED SUV!
despite all these liberals trying to destroy America we still manage to be awesome from time to time – I guess this Mars mission was signed off by Bush, right?
Curiosity should drop seeds of barley and hops as it rolls along.
When the first colonists arrive, they’ll need beer.
“Just in case, I hope they gave Curiosity a gun.”
If I’m not mistaken, Curiosity has a laser that can at least heat rocks, but I’m pretty sure it can cut rocks at least a little. So Curiosity is our first actual nuclear powered space laser.
OK, maybe not up to the S.M.I.T.E. standard, but like the cashback bonus on some credit cards, something is better than nothing.