Welfare and foodstamps only valid for the purchase of Bananas and toilet paper. Make it law.
— Steven Crowder (@scrowder) August 9, 2012
I pushed my wheelbarrow of puppies down the street, selling them as I went. Each night, I stole them back, then sold them on the next block.
— Very Short Story (@VeryShortStory) August 9, 2012
Don’t have any kids so I keep a picture of Man-Thing on my desk.
— Sean Gabay (@ixSEANxi) August 9, 2012
@imao_ Obama inherited a used economy from Bush. Ted Kennedy inherited a used Oldsmobile from his dad. Same result.— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 9, 2012
I used to hate elderly drivers. Now I’m okay with them because they’re the only ones not using smartphones while driving.
— Michael Deppisch (@deppisch) August 10, 2012