many could hear the inexplicable, ghostly barking of dogs past, eerily emanating from his belly. And Barak was slowly driven insane by the hideous barking of those tell tale Bos.
they had to increase the amount of air freshener in the ventilation system since the odors of sulfur and BS were becoming more overwhelming than anticipated.
… said, “I am a Communist. I’ve always been a Communist” when TOTUS flashed an old speech from Fidel Castro. Outside, a passing Bircher shouted, “I told you so!”
…Joe Biden, tied with clothesline, mouth duct-taped, the strings from a mop stuck in his ropes and trailing behind, came hopping up the aisle, yelling. “MMMMM! MMMM MMM!”
…somewhere, I watched 20 seconds of it where he said “I’m not a candidate any more, I’m the President” and I felt relieved that he knew that so I turned if off.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the Zarton’s called off their plan to stop our sun from going supernova. They figured that any species that chooses idiots like that as a leader is pretty much doomed.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the White House attorneys figured it’d be a good time to start drawing up the list of pardons he’ll need to sign before he leaves office in January.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the seniors at Rapid City High School realized they’d rather fail Mr. Lipman’s civics test than get a guaranteed A for watching the president speak.
……..God thought “I ought to fry this character” but then he thought “if the morons in the US voted for this dufus I guess they’re getting what they deserve” and went back to watching Spain implode.
… Joe Biden leapt from his seat and screamed, “Amen! Preach it brother!” Some thoght he had religion, others thought he had a demon … what he really had was a brain fart.
…a bunch of Conservatives finally realized they had to stop being meer “cheerleaders for Capitalism” when their audience is a bunch of brainwashed, five year-old imbeciles who have the brains of gutless slugs.
…the teleprompter broke. And, somewhere an angel smiled.
…a baby threw-up it’s pablum.
Bin Laden walked onto the DNC convention floor
many could hear the inexplicable, ghostly barking of dogs past, eerily emanating from his belly. And Barak was slowly driven insane by the hideous barking of those tell tale Bos.
they had to switch off Chris Matthew’s microphone because his moaning was too distracting.
they had to increase the amount of air freshener in the ventilation system since the odors of sulfur and BS were becoming more overwhelming than anticipated.
they were finally able to pry the bucket off.
Raul and Fidel Castro walked onstage and got a “Si, se puede” shoutout from Obama. (Just to solidify his influence within the Latino community.)
… he actually promised something measurable; but then he retracted it.
… three lawyers had to be called for fainting delegates.
Barak appeared to hack up what onlookers could only describe as a furball.
Barak began conducting a very confusing conversation with his own empty chair.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s date at Uncle Basil’s Stud Farm was less aroused than Chris Matthews.
…the networks cut away for a “Sham-Wow” commercial.
…major cities suffered a “flush surge” that supassed the one at the last Super Bowl halftime.
was a classic #2
1) Start speech
2)
3) Profit!
…Joe Biden woke up shouting “Soylent Green is people!”
…we exceeded $18 trillion in debt.
Bo got away and pulled back the curtain revealing the real charlatan wizard behind it.
…an angel lost its wings.
The country shouted “You lie!”
Obama had said “I” 46 times already.
a traveler from the future appeared on stage, grabbed obama and disappeared, leaving a note: “now quit the crap and pay your bills.”
He clearly said “I’m a communist, and all of you comrades will vote for me” in a low hum that only the drones of the hive can hear
… said, “I am a Communist. I’ve always been a Communist” when TOTUS flashed an old speech from Fidel Castro. Outside, a passing Bircher shouted, “I told you so!”
…Joe Biden, tied with clothesline, mouth duct-taped, the strings from a mop stuck in his ropes and trailing behind, came hopping up the aisle, yelling. “MMMMM! MMMM MMM!”
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech… the press filed their stories about how great it was.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the people standing in the unemployment lines started making space for two more to join their ranks.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the U.S. General Services Administration held another party.
…somewhere, I watched 20 seconds of it where he said “I’m not a candidate any more, I’m the President” and I felt relieved that he knew that so I turned if off.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…African-American voters nationwide started thinking to themselves, “Hey, this clown’s only half black!”
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…Bill Clinton was behind the bleachers zipping up his pants.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s mascara started running up her face.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the audience looked up from playing the world’s largest game of “Words With Friends” and realized he was talking.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…Schrödinger’s cat chose death.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…God denied the DNC’s members three times and no one wept.
…most of the seven billion people on planet Earth weren’t listening and don’t care.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…Joe Biden was trying to get everyone to flush the stadium’s toilets at the same time.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…He accidentally said something truthful…
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the Zarton’s called off their plan to stop our sun from going supernova. They figured that any species that chooses idiots like that as a leader is pretty much doomed.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…his uncle got his green card.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the White House attorneys figured it’d be a good time to start drawing up the list of pardons he’ll need to sign before he leaves office in January.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…30 million college students passed out from drinking shots every time he said “I,” “me,” and “Bush’s fault.”
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the delegates on the convention floor moved up to the third row because the bullcr@p was getting so deep.
….he snorted some coke.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…the seniors at Rapid City High School realized they’d rather fail Mr. Lipman’s civics test than get a guaranteed A for watching the president speak.
In the Middle of Obama’s DNC Speech…Harry Reid was eyeballing the president’s daughters.
. . . Bill Clinton lost an entire box of cigars to a woman in a full-body vagina suit.
Crabby, I just lost my peanut butter sandwich on the floor.
……..God thought “I ought to fry this character” but then he thought “if the morons in the US voted for this dufus I guess they’re getting what they deserve” and went back to watching Spain implode.
the Jews and Muslims stopped shouting at each other and realized someone was on stage…then they went back to fighting.
….Joe Biden dropped his sippy cup.
…Saul Alinsky, Skip Gates and Jeremiah Wright high-fived each other and chorused, “We built that!”
…Michelle looked at Malia and said, “That carrot stick and grain of rice you had for dinner makes you too fat for Prada.”
…Jimmy Carter realized he accidentally left his 1980 convention speech on the teleprompter.
…Barney Frank thanked Bill Clinton for comment 29.
…Harry Reid was at the back door of the White House telling the babysitter that it was okay for her to go home.
…Michelle finished off her second bag of Funyuns and a Super Big Gulp.
…Barney Frank was finishing off a big gulp, too.
…Manolo shot his television.
… Joe Biden leapt from his seat and screamed, “Amen! Preach it brother!” Some thoght he had religion, others thought he had a demon … what he really had was a brain fart.
…the Cherokee Nation recognized Elizabeth Warren as being a full-blood member of the DNC tribe: Definitely Not Cherokee.
Obama paused and said, “Damn it, I can’t fake it any more. I have no idea what I’m doing. Vote for Romney and get this country back on track.”
He paused, looked out over masses and thought to himself…BAZINGA!
he awoke and remembered he lost that election nine years ago.
…a bunch of Conservatives finally realized they had to stop being meer “cheerleaders for Capitalism” when their audience is a bunch of brainwashed, five year-old imbeciles who have the brains of gutless slugs.
…he started getting his @$$ kicked by an invisible Clint Eastwood.
I farted. Everybody was laughing so hard we just turned off the tv and partied and lit some matches.
Bacon for Bob in Feenicks #64!
In the middle of Obama’s DNC speech….Harry S Truman rolled over in his grave.
In the middle of Obama’s DNC speech…..loud cheering could be heard….. from every muslim country.
In the middle of Obama’s DNC speech…his nose suddenly started to grow longer.
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