[High Praise! to Iowahawk]

White House Scientists Struggle to Contain Outbreak of Scrutonium

Excerpt:

Amid their battle to contain the Benghazi strain, a second – and even more deadly – outbreak appeared in Denver on October 3. Nicknamed “the Doomsday Strain”, the Denver scrutonium virus has thusfar been impervious to any attempt at containment.

“We’re dealing with the ultimate buzzkiller here,” said Senior Narrative Engineer Stephanie Cutter. “This one directly attacks voters’ ability to hallucinate happy thoughts, or even ignore the obvious – no matter how many squirrels we inoculate them with.”

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