Archive of entries posted on December 2012

Can we get one of these for politicians?

Posted by on

The old joke is that if you don’t know what Web browser you’re using, then you’re using Internet Explorer. It’s funny because it’s true.

However, there are things about browsers, you browser in fact, that you may not know.

Lots of people use Chrome. It’s cross-platform (that means I can use it on my Windows machine as well as on my Mac) and is a pretty good browser. Not perfect, but it’s good.

Well, turns out that some developers have taken advantage of situations and have been installing extensions without the user’s full knowledge and consent. Kinda like, “Hey, trust me!”

Google, who makes the Chrome browser, is clamping down. Beginning with Chrome 25 (the current version is 23 as I write this), they won’t allow silent extension installations.

Previously, in Chrome, you had to install an app to see what all was with it. Kinda like Obamacare.

Well, with Chrome, the extensions will still be installed, but disabled with the option to remove them.

Kinda like what we need to do with Obamacare.

I do so wish someone had let the uninstall of Obama happen last month. If I found out who clicked cancel, there’ll be hell to pay!

Did you get everything you wanted?

Posted by on
© 2003 Warner Bros.

Remember the scene from “A Christmas Story,” after all the opening of the presents, where the Old Man and Ralphie’s Mom are sitting on the couch with Ralphie between them while Randy is passed out amid the trash next to the Frankenstein’s Monster mask with the zeppelin under his arm?

The Old Man asks Ralphie “Did you get everything you wanted?” Turns out Ralphie didn’t. After all, for the previous 1:19:47, Ralphie has been scheming to get an official Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle. And there wasn’t one.

Only, the Old Man pointed out to Ralphie that there was one other thing behind the desk, which turned out to be that very gift.

Well, I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas. We have the same old president. And no one has pointed out a brand new president boxed up behind the desk.

How about you? Did you get what you wanted? Or were you disappointed by not getting that one special thing?

Fun Facts About Christmas

Posted by on

* Christmas celebrates the anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ. Since he was Jewish, he was circumcised 8 days later, which anniversary we now commemorate with the holiday OW!OW!OW!mas

* The beloved holiday icon Santa Claus originally wore a green outfit, which he changed to red after joining the Communist Party.

* Christmas specials which show Santa’s workshop at the North pole often include penguins. This is factually incorrect, since penguins are native to the SOUTH pole, where, coincidentally, Santa’s evil twin brother Satan Claus has HIS workshop.

* He mostly makes fruitcakes – the most concentrated form of evil known to man.

* Tree decorating originated with tree-worshiping Druids, whose modern descendants mostly just bitch about globalization and throw garbage cans through windows at Starbucks.

* If an elf bites you, you become one.

* Not everyone celebrates Christmas. Jews celebrate Hanukkah, which commemorates some magic oil that burned for 8 days. Oddly, this is not the same “OIIIIIILLLLL!” that the Iraq war was “all about”.

* The majority of terrorists don’t celebrate Christmas, either. Mostly because they’ve been killed by Americans.

* Rastafarians celebrate Christmas by smoking marijuana on Christmas Day.

* And every other day.

* Some families open their presents on Christmas Eve. Some families open their presents on Christmas morning. This or slavery was the cause of the Civil War.

* Santa’s sleigh is pulled by reindeer, which are just like regular deer, except somewhat larger and thus more likely to collapse the roof of your car after they bounce off your hood.

* Santa’s reindeer can also fly, probably because they’re Rastafarians.

* The French celebrate Christmas by decorating trees and surrendering to them.

* The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe originated to allow married men to make out with their mistresses at office parties, and survives today despite the invention of the broom closet.

* Bing Crosby starred in “White Christmas”. Bling Crosby starred in “Hot Black Studs in Action”. Try not to get those two confused if you’re searching for family-entertainment DVDs this holiday season.

* A “Christmas Club” is a savings account in which a person deposits a fixed amount of money regularly to be used at Christmas for shopping. It’s also a stick used to beat up Salvation Army bell-ringers so you can steal their kettles.

* The Friday after Thanksgiving is the second busiest shopping day of the year. The busiest is “Thank God Gas Stations Sell Roses Day”, AKA “Valentine’s Day”.

* Every December, Americans mail out a combined total of 9 billion Christmas cards in an effort to keep in touch with loved ones. Which pisses me off because it always delays the delivery of the December issue of “Hefty Hooters” magazine.

* Before settling on the name “Tiny Tim” for the character’s name in “A Christmas Carol”, Charles Dickens also considered such names as Feeble Frank, Crippled Carl, Defective Dan, Hobbling Harry, and Mutilated Marvin.

* Eggnog is a traditional holiday beverage made from eggs and named after the sound people make after having one too many of them.

* Christmas was once a moveable feast celebrated at many different times during the year. The choice of December 25 was made by Pope Julius I in the 4th century A.D. so that he could get the day off to go skiing.
_______________

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get the roof of my car replaced.

Christmas 2012

Posted by on

Luke 2:1-14

  1. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.
  2. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
  3. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
  4. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David
  5. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
  6. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
  7. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
  8. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
  9. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
  10. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
  11. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
  12. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
  13. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
  14. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.