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  1. When Ralphie reached the end of the slide..Eric Holder was giving away Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifles with a compass in the stock to all the Mexican children, so Ralphie traded his birth certificate with one of the “non-documented” children and went home, Air Rifle in hand. The moral of the story is that by giving away free stuff, Santa Obama makes twice as many wishes come true.

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