Just read the four most depressing words in the English language: “Dave Matthews Tribute Band”
— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) April 5, 2013
Don’t you know your stupid walnuts are taking up space where there could be more brownie?
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) April 5, 2013
This is your brain*holds up fedora*This is your brain on Drugs *puts fedora on a cat*This is my cat. *pets cat*His name is Drugs.
— J a k e(@JakeInRealLife) April 5, 2013
Old movies make train travel look so romantic, but who in this day and age has time to solve a murder mystery?
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 5, 2013
Fun prank: tell a guy he reminds you of John Locke from LOST, then when he asks why you shove him out an office window.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) April 5, 2013
The Hannibal in “Hannibal” is very different from the Hannibal I remember. “I ain’t getting on no plane!”
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) April 6, 2013