Archive of entries posted on January 2014

Wisdom of the Day: Martyr Manager 100% Crisis Snails Punch MSNBC

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Obama Warned Us – Pay Close Attention

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When we don’t pay close attention to the decisions made by our leaders, when we fail to educate ourselves about the major issues of the day, when we choose not to make our voices and opinions heard, that’s when democracy breaks down. That’s when power is abused. That’s when the most extreme voices in our society fill the void that we leave. That’s when powerful interests and their lobbyists are most able to buy access and influence in the corridors of power –- because none of us are there to speak up and stop them.

BARACK OBAMA, remarks at University of Michigan, May 1, 2010

“Now… RELEASE THE SQUIRRELS!”

It’s Always Sunny in Washington DC: Barack and Joe Prepare for the State of the Union – Part 2

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(Kerry enters Oval Office)

Kerry: Dude, we totally have to go over my plans for the security for your state of the union thingie.

Barack: What? You aren’t on my security detail, dude.  Not on my detail.

Kerry: Seriously, dude.  Seriously.  Do you know how many people, like, hate you?  I mean, like, really hate you. Don’t tell me you are going to trust your security to those stuffed suits, dude, when you have an expert like me on staff.  You can’t be serious, dude.

Hillary (enters): Sup, guys?

Barack: You aren’t on security, dude.  And you’re not an expert.  You are so not an expert.

Kerry: Yeah, right. I am totally an expert.  And you can’t stop me.  It’s like my patriotic duty to keep you safe.  It’s, like, in the Constitution or something, dude.  It’s in the Constitution.  (Pushes aside Biden’s juicer and spreads out sheaves of paper on the desk) Just look at your seating chart here.  It is all wrong, dude.  All wrong.  It’s just so wrong.  What can I say, it’s all wrong.  We need to move Hillary right next to you, dude.  Like, right next to you.

Barack: I don’t want to sit next to Hillary. She doesn’t use enough perfume, dude.  Doesn’t cover up her natural musk, dude.  Doesn’t cover it up.  No covering.  No covering at all.

Kerry: Do you want to be safe, huh?  Do you want to be safe?  Tell me you want to be safe.  She is integral, dude.  Integral.  We need someone expendable right there. Totally expendable.  If there is a shooter, I’m gonna push her into the line of fire and leap over her and karate chop the shooter.  I can’t take the bullet myself, cause I need to be free for the karate chopping.  We need a large, expendable shield, so, of course, Hillary.

Barack: That does kind of make sense.

Hillary: Dudes, I’m standing right here.

Barack: But do we really want her ugly mug where the cameras might catch a glimpse of it?  Do we really want to broadcast that into everybody’s homes?  Can we at least dress her up as a clown so she will be less distracting?  Oh, speak of the Bozo.  When did you get here?

Hillary: Ha. Ha. You just can’t handle sitting too close to all this. Can’t have all this eye candy distracting from your highness’ words.

Barack: Ya, you’re eye candy, alright. Black licorice.

Kerry: Totally.  You’re, like, the black licorice of eye candy.  Not all candy is good, you know.  Not all is good. Some is downright disgusting.

Barack: Nauseating, if you will.  Downright nauseating.

Hillary: You know, I hate you guys.  I really do.  I hate you guys so much.  Now do you want my help or not?

Biden: Oh, we definitely want your help.  Thirsty?

(To be continued, maybe, if I feel like it)

Snow Day

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WalkingDeadSnowParody
[Geeks of Doom – Facebook]

Yeah, I know. We aren’t used to snow around here. We have no plan to deal with it. And, since the roads ice over, we’re slip-sliding all over the place in large vehicles weighing several thousand pounds.

I’m a 100 miles southwest of Atlanta, and the roads here were iced over. That means when you travel at a snail’s pace, foot off the gas, but have to press the brakes for a stop sign or a pedestrian or another car or something, you start sliding and skidding, traveling forward at about 20° off-center. Not a good feeling, particularly if you’re not used to it.

Schools closed, many businesses and agencies closed, and a lot of people had a vacation day. Some of us worked. And, because a lot of people didn’t show up (some nearby counties closed all their roads), we actually got some stuff done.

Go ahead and make fun of us. We can’t handle snow. And we have no desire to learn. We can handle hurricanes. Heck, we play football in hurricanes here in Georgia. You won’t see any hurricane-related scandals here. But snow? You can keep that stuff.

Random Thoughts: Choice, Ranch, and Huckabee

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So why is the contribution limit three times higher for a 401k than a personal IRA?

So can we go back to ignoring Obama now?

Don’t ever talk to me about “choice” if you want to forcefully take my tax dollars to pay for abortion.

If people like abortion so much, why not start an abortion charity? Isn’t that the freedom solution to this sort of thing?

There are no factory tours of where they make ranch dressing because then they’d have to reveal the location of their valley.

If Huckabee is GOP’s 2016 nominee, going to start putting my rocket together to escape here and make ultra-libertarian colony on the moon.

1st rule of Jimmy 2-Times club: Don’t talk about Jimmy 2-Times club. 1st rule of Jimmy 2-Times club: Don’t talk about Jimmy 2-Times club. 2nd rule of Jimmy 2-Times club: Don’t talk about Jimmy 2-Times club. 2nd rule of Jimmy 2-Times club…

Wife gets annoyed when I grab the baby and yell, “GET OVER HERE!” even though it’s a pitch-perfect Scorpion imitation.

GOP leadership and amnesty remind me of a dog and the kitchen trash. No matter how many chidings, as soon as your back is turned…

We aren’t going to advance any more on racial issues until race-baiters are shunned the same as KKK members.

Yay! There’s some shame now on race-baiting!

Wisdom of the Day: Candy Sheep Holocaust Seals Lotion Washington Biden Hulk Suit Oompa-Loompa Sexist

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