Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To fix her low poll numbers, Hillary Clinton…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
To fix her low poll numbers, Hillary Clinton…
… reverted to a base-2 numbering system.
…is contracting independent filmmakers to create unwatchable video about the “wrong” side of every social and political issue of the day, so that she can bravely condemn them in no uncertain terms.
… spending the few dollars that she earns giving speeches by buying votes.
promised to show more cankle, since it always raised Bill’s poll.
is having all documents having anything to do with her, including her book, stamped “top secret” and hidden from the public
…used some of her pittance of savings from her second job as a cocktail waitress to buy followers on Twitter.
… Has started opposition research on poll companies.
…has been advised to get more sleep as she’s been looking always tired.
…applied to the courts to have her name changed to Ruby Lou Rodaboat. Name recognition swings both ways.
…asked that polling workers no longer asking the Stevens Family and the Foster Family for their opinions.
..declared poll numbers amnesty and refused to enforce any borders between her poll numbers and the poll numbers of her opponents.
…pointed out the inequality of a woman earning fewer poll numbers than men do for equal campaigning.
…said, “10%, 30% 50%, 70%, what difference at this point does it really make?”
…crushed her enemies, saw them driven before her, and heard the lamentation of their women; but in a nice PC way that everyone can feel good about.
…has decided to emphasize the brain damage from her fall and go for the sympathy vote. New campaign slogan: Hire the Handicapped
… is telling people that she is gay, psychotic, ignorant, part Indian, was not born in Kenya, in need of debt relief, Communist, felonious, and is no ways taaaarrrreeeddd. That should pretty much fire up most factions of the base for the next time the pollsters call.
… is having a picnic in Fort Marcy Park for all polling organizations. Will supply the throw down guns if they don’t bring one of their own.
… is reminding people that her numbers are still higher than Wendy Davis, like that’s a plus.
… called Michael Dukakis and Walter Mondale to ask for advice on how to be more popular.
Demands that Obama’s poll numbers be published concurrently making hers look relatively better.
… will annex pollin’.
… is considering a Huma sacrifice.
… is working on a slogan: “Replace an incompetent country-destroyer with a competent one!”
…will adopt a dog and name him “Low Poll Numbers,” then take him to the vet.
….refused to show anyone her birth certificate.
…discover vastly higher poll numbers under some old billing records.
…blame the vast white wing conspiracy.
…threaten to pole dance if they don’t go up.
…start kicking negative responders in the nads soccer style.
…fight decades of learned feminist behavior, begin kissing babies and chewing the faces off of masculine girls.
…encouraged Bill to have more public affairs to reinstate her ‘victim’ status.