And Thus, My Feelings for Apple Products

(Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])

Speaking of which

In All the Wrong Places

Jay Carney said the White House found “zero emails” between Lois Lerner and the president’s office.

Really? Did you try looking under that pile of broken hard drives?

Who Needs a Gun (Not a Rhetorical Question)

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: Honest Graduation Speech

[High Praise! to Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

Commencement Speaker

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Wisdom of the Day: Reeves Screen War Relations Soccer Mario Story

Everybody With His Condition Has This Problem

In Houston, a former Marine has spent the last 2 months trying to convince the Department of Veterans Affairs that he’s not dead.

Even more annoying: the DNC won’t stop sending him “welcome to the Party” letters.

Obama Warned Us – Ramadan

“Ramadan Kareem.” —President Obama extends his best wishes to the Muslim community on the beginning of Ramadan: http://wh.gov/l6LmZ
@BarackObama

“Here – let me gift-wrap some more Gitmo prisoners for you.”

Straight Line of the Day: If President Obama Were Forced to Wear a Warning Label, It Would Say…

(From a suggestion by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If President Obama were forced to wear a warning label, it would say…

Making the World Cup More Exciting

Now that the World Cup is over (as far as I know), what are some ideas for making soccer more exciting so that Americans might pay it attention?

With all respect to the performance of Tim Howard, to me the number one idea is getting rid of the goalie. The main thing that makes soccer so boring is so little scoring, so no goalie should help that right away. Just imagine if basketball had a guy whose job it was to hang on the basket and swat down every shot; think of how little scoring and how boring basketball would then be. Plus, a no goalie rule would keep soccer’s silly “no hands” rule more pure.

Yes, with no goalie, the U.S. would have probably have lost like 18-5 against Belgium, but that’s just the ridiculousness of one guy carrying the whole team. And an 18-5 would mean stuff happening throughout the game, instead of just three goals in the extra 30 minutes added after the mindnumbingly boring 0-0 tie in the first 90 minutes.

So how would you make soccer more exciting?

Random Thoughts: Freedom, Humor, and Independence Day

Problem of our freedom solutions to the Hobby Lobby decision is the presumption that imposing the state on religious beliefs isn’t the goal.

I’d care so much less about politics if we just made it harder to vote away my freedoms.

I wish we had a more honest debate where the people against individual freedom came out and said so instead of trying to redefine freedom.

We’re trying to come up with “live and let live” solutions for people who don’t want to live and let live.

I’m sounding too righteous. I’m boring myself.

If at this point you still believe Obama has any idea how to create jobs, there is no help for you.

If we’re not going to advance in space any time soon, can we at least work on making battlemechs?

This has to be the best optical illusion I’ve seen. Figures in both pictures are exactly the same color and shading.

Wasn’t able to convince my brain of that. Had to prove it with photoshop.

Previously, I always thought this was the best optical illusion, where squares A and B are actually same color.

I mean “best” in that no matter how hard I stare at them, I can’t convince my brain the truth of the matter.

Did you know that Israel was founded by the Koch brothers?

These sort of articles always seem to be rooted in huge amount of insecurity.

I wrote an article on why the left can’t be funny. It’s stupid, but still less stupid than what Kevin Drum wrote.

I think the left have trouble with right-wing humor because we’re laughing at them and that’s never fun.

If they actually could laugh at themselves, they might like it, but for too many on the left, their politics is super serial, you guys.

Asserting that the left takes politics less seriously than the right should disqualify you from commenting on anything else ever again.

Why it’s just so absurd to me is I’ve long done a parody of extreme right to a mainly right-wing audience.

The right are very receptive to laughing at their own politics if they feel you’re laughing with.

Extreme partisans on either side tend to be humorless, though.

But part of being a conservative is having many things in your life much more important than politics.

Gah. I’m doing too many lectures these days. I want to punch myself.

The left and right agree at least half of politicians are pretty awful; shouldn’t that lead to both sides wanting less powerful government?

If global warming is real, then how come it’s made up?

Happy Independence Day! Also know as WHAT THE %#@& IS GOING ON?!! Day to dogs.

Worth noting this country wasn’t founded because the British were failing to supply entitlements.

“The government won’t force my employer to give me the birth control I want? Revolution!”

“The government won’t enact common sense gun control? Time to take up arms and overthrow it!”

Your liberty was hard won with much blood and sacrifice. Don’t trade it for baubles.

Remember, the worst thing you can do for a scared dog is coddle it. Shout “Tough it out!” just like you would for your scared child.

Why don’t the British ever just ask Americans how to pronounce words correctly?

Still Manlier Than Playing Soccer, Though

Harley-Davidson is now planning to introduce its first electric motorcycle.

An electric Harley? Isn’t that like putting Pee-Wee Herman on Mount Rushmore?

Remember

7-7-05