(Trying to settle an argument we’re having in the comments to this post)
What Should Be the New Name for Soccer?
- Yawnball (53%, 107 Votes)
- Girlieball (34%, 68 Votes)
- Ladyball (13%, 27 Votes)
Total Voters: 202
Loading ...What Should Be the New Name for Soccer?
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Yawnball is too easily confiused with golf.
Well, whatever we name it, let’s not nancy-around about it in our cute little shorts and prissy socks!
how about un-American football.
We can’t watch soccer. We can’t participate in renaming soccer. We must not play soccer, nor discuss it, nor interact with it in any way. Soccer is not an American sport, and to partake of it would be appropriating another culture, and that’s all racist and hegomonous (?) and imperial and stuff like that.
No-Balls Ball?
There’s also no 3rd-World Cup, that seems mighty racist,
Kicky-Ball
Goalieball
DropDownAndActLikeYou’reHurtBall
NeanderthalBall
PrissyBall
BoringBall
EuroBall
ChaseBall
HeadbuttBall
NancyBall
WhatElseIsOnBall
I do like Nancyball
Of course you do!
I’ve been thinking PajamaBall since this started, mostly based on the “fans” who turned up at my local.
@6 – that last one is already known as “basketball.”
I voted Girlieball, but was thinking “Coma Ball”
I’ve always called it European Kickball. Which makes my daughter roll her eyes at me.
Hey is this like Chicago? Can I vote more then once? Can my life impaired uncle vote too?
What kind of crappy poll is this, it only let me vote once! Damn racist voter ID I assume.
Huh. Are those going to be the only choices?
I don’t really care for Yawnball, because that implies that our disdain for the “sport” is because it’s boring. And while it is boring, that’s not really why we hate it. We hate it because it’s a bunch of grown men jogging around in shorts and pretending to be seriously hurt whenever someone comes within a foot of them while playing a game for middle schoolers. Hence the appeal of Ladyball/Girlieball, implying that the men who play it do so because they’re girlie.
Except, as I’m sure some of the married men here can attest, girls can be tough. Scary, even. If my only experience with women was limited to my mother and my wife, I’d assume being called girlie is some kind of sign of respect amongst warriors.
In keeping with the spirit or Ladyball/Girlieball, but without insulting women who are tougher than soccer players (which is, to say, most of them), can we not find an alternative name that still implies the game is played by whinging nancy boys? Perhaps nancyball or sissyball?